recently i was told i should be grateful that my culture is trendy now.
and honestly, in many ways, i am.
but the statement left a sour aftertaste, because it echoes something immigrants (especially refugees) often hear: you should be grateful that you get to be here. it’s the same sentiment that usually precedes “if you don’t like it, leave.”
so who exactly should i be grateful to?
who do i thank that certain foods, songs, clothing, and traditions are now aestheticised, sanitised, and palatable enough to circulate on a global scale?
and who do i complain to that it’s flattened now?
obviously this moment didn’t appear out of nowhere. it’s happening alongside a broader disillusionment with life in the west. but what struck me most is how aggressively post-ironic it feels.
it’s like we first had to collectively agree that “this is funny” before anyone could admit that maybe it’s actually interesting, not ironically.
and on a more personal level, it’s made me reflect on myself too. why did it take a trend for me to show up more openly as who i am? why wasn’t i even louder about it before?
i think i’m still in the process of unlearning the instinct to ask for permission to exist, waiting for permission to be who i want to be and do what i want to do, and learning that i can just do and just be.
i wish i’d been brave enough earlier
but i guess i can start now
ai 愛 // DYLWYS has been sitting in the vault for a while, here’s some context behind the song
this song was inspired by a lot of my experiences on the internet as an asian woman, being fetishised, being seen for a concept as opposed to a person. it ties to something much bigger than my individual experience though, it’s a product of media tropes and stereotypes that get perpetuated if left unquestioned
i told someone i wanted to make video essays this year but im not getting around to that any time soon
my new song ai 愛 // do you like what you see? is out on all streaming platforms today! link in bio or comment 222 and i will dm you the link :-)
on halloween night 2024 my laptop broke and i lost all of my data and my music projects (which at this point luckily was probably just a handful of mid songs). DYLWYS was the first song i made when after i got my laptop repaired and it just flowed out of me so quickly and lowkey is the reason why i decided to go more electronic with my music and abandon my aspirations as a pop punk rock star lol
took me a minute to finish it because i didn’t know half the things i know about producing now so the project file is super messy and inefficient and makes my computer crash but we are finally here
also while im not famous enough for someone to unpack the easter eggs in my songs yet i guess ill just explain them myself. oh the woes of being #niche and #underground
thanks for reading and listening
touch grass and talk to a real human <3
愛 // do you like what you see? is out on all streaming platforms now! link in bio
a song inspired by incel culture, ai corn, fetishisation, and the disproportionate effect of these on asian women
last month, i had the amazing opportunity to perform at the Royal Albert Hall (unreal 😵💫)
it’s taken me a while to process this whole experience. i performed a piece that i wrote & composed together with @uhblab . performing one of my own songs with a full orchestra and choir has been on my bucket list since i was a little girl, and i could have never imagined it happening less than a year into my music career.
as some of you may know, my earliest exposure to music was through classical piano. i’ve always loved film scores and pop songwriting too, and about a year ago i started producing my own music. this was actually my first ever gig in london (and my first as a solo artist (although this wasn’t much of a solo performance at all)), so performing my own work at such an iconic venue felt like a surreal, full-circle moment.
over the course of a few months, as part of the @mfyfrequencies artist residency, Paloma and i brought together our backgrounds in composition and songwriting, eventually creating a piece that encapsulates our shared anxieties around an increasingly disconnected society in the face of AI and technological advancement. i’ve learned so much during this residency and gained a huge amount of confidence.
a massive thank you to @musicforyouth and @ppl_uk for this opportunity,
@damienharron for providing so much invaluable mentorship and guidance, as well as conducting the choir and orchestra,
the youth choir and orchestra travelling all the way from Wales @cerddcf , @henrydlle and @annajosefinex for capturing the day,
and my lovely lovely friends who showed up on the day, i love you so much <3333333
very excited to announce that i’ll be performing at the royal albert hall on the 11th of november as part of the MFY proms!
i will be performing a piece that i created over the past few months as part of the New Frequencies music residency in collaboration with @uhblab , accompanied by a full orchestra and choir.
tickets are limited and on sale at the link in my bio now :)
thanks for capturing my soyjak face @jmeslau
come back // zurück // 回来 is out on all streaming platforms now, and the music video is out on youtube!!!link in my bio 🙂↕️🔗
thank you to:
the absolute goat @wyalinus for an insane MV
@minor.thesound for filming assistance
@smashitrageroom for the venue and the important work you do
@cardamo.mp3 for mixing the track
Josh Hills for mastering
@re6ce and @rotschaa for help with the album art
@0800dumbphone for coming in clutch with chinese font lol
@asiangermany and @korientation , as well as @eatinginberlin and @catychii for their resilience and documenting their experiences
thank you also to @asiangermanupdates , @dearasianyouth , @thebritishasiancollective , @eseamusic , @besea.n , @voiceesea , @asiantones , and everyone formerly part of @tiger.riots , whose work over the years has helped me work through my experiences, let me feel less alone and find a community, in both Germany and the UK
everyone who’s stuck around for the past years since i first started speaking up about this stuff
🖤
