Last year, I went to a feminist tech retreat organised by @techherng where the entire program was built around one idea: rest as a political act.
It radicalized me.
For years, I’d been optimizing for output. More meetings. More deliverables. More proof that I was “adding value.” It didn’t make my work suddenly stable or secure. If you work in marketing, you’d get this.
Plus I was tired. All the time. That retreat changed my life. It taught me: rest isn’t the opposite of productivity.
So I tested it. I took 2 women to Cotonou for 4 days. Sunrise walks. Yoga. Space to do nothing. No agenda.
Both of them said they felt rested after. One woman even stayed back for two more weeks and worked from there.
Tried it again. 2 more women. Then 8 women at once. Same result. Just as fulfilling all the time.
Learning that the best ideas don’t come from grinding harder. The work still gets done but I don’t feel drained after.
That’s why I’m building @softdayyysss . A rest centered travel agency for creatives and professionals without the packed itineraries of visiting 10 spots in one weekend.
We’re traveling again March 4–9. Cotonou, Benin. 5 days for people who work hard and need to remember what it feels like to think clearly again.
Remote workers are very welcome. You don’t need to take leave. Your laptop works there too. The difference is, you’ll actually want to close it.
If this sounds like what you need, send me a message or follow @softdayyysss for more info.
Plus I realised I haven’t posted the first photo here before now
Little things that made my heart soften in Benin.
For the babes who want more softness in their days, @softdayyysss and @decompressionclub are hosting a small Galentine’s trip here in Feb, ₦400k for 3 transportation to and from, 3 nights close to the beach, sunrise & sunset walks, yoga, guided art sessions & one fancy home-cooked dinner.
DM me if it’s calling you 🤍 🤍
When I asked that people share the music that they have given or received in the name of love - I wasn’t expecting that making the show would be my own personal reckoning with the reality of the worlds I have poured into and shaped with music.
My most vulnerable show till date and it is completely yours this Thursday 20th November 2025. 1PM WAT and 12PM GMT
To everyone who contributed a song or a memory - I want to thank you for sharing a piece of your heart with me and I hope you love the show as much as I enjoyed making it.
Link to listen is Oroko.live
Thank you to my co-dreamers @lolateru_@ms.sule_ for saying yes to all my ideas, y’all made this second half of the year worth being alive for.
@datinginlagos25 started from a conversation between @lolateru_ and me, about how this city shapes us, how no one wants to be caught with feelings, how mistakes feel heavier, and how survival sometimes gets in the way of tenderness.
We started to notice how these things show up in interactions in this city, how we flirt, pull away, pretend not to care, or love quietly so it doesn’t look like weakness.
We wanted to create something soft. An exhibition of the tenderness that still manages to exist here, in the way we keep trying to love even when it hurts. Something that lets people breathe for a second and remember they’re not alone.
I knew @joydragger was the only person who could curate this the way we were seeing it, with her hilarious yearly dating reviews and her earnestness, no matter what Lagos throws at her.
From space curation to building the perfect sound, producing every part of this has been intentional. I’m in awe of myself and so proud of what we’ve built, and of everyone who’s shown up for it.
The final Dating in Lagos show for the year is this Sunday, 12–6 PM at the British Council.
Come experience the softness we made for you💘
(Last photo because sometimes I forget I do hard things so I got it tattooed.)
When people ask me how I am able to do all the things I want to do - I often laugh and tell them of how much faith my friends have in me that it almost borders delusion.
The people who see me and decide that my capacity for a thing outweighs the blocks that exist and I too start to believe against all odds.
@ms.sule_@lolateru_ looked at me and said “you fit run am” and run I did!
This is the second exhibition I am curating this year and what a privilege it is to be able to stand within the vision that Lola and Mariam had as curator (vibe setter if you ask me)
@datinginlagos25 opened yesterday and it was nothing short of amazing.
It’s open today from 12pm - 6pm
If you’d like to see it - ticket link is in my bio
They said no love in Lagos.
Let’s debate that… inside an art exhibition that looks, feels, and smells like dating here 🌹
Here’s your invitation to a multisensory art exhibition where installations, photos, scent, and sound recreate the chaos, tenderness, and contradictions of dating here.
Tickets live now. 🎟️
