Sometimes the slump wins.
And maybe that’s ok.
Because what if sitting in the slump isn’t failure — but a pause?
Some days are not for rising. They’re for resting.
Feeling in a slump may be your body asking for softness and surrender - not strategy
So - maybe with a ‘slump’ we don’t need to force ourselves out of it, analyse it, or turn it into a self-improvement project.
In fact - maybe we welcome it - trusting this is what our nervous system NEEDS
Maybe we just need to say:
“Ok. I’m here. This is where I am today.”
Hunker down a little.
Call the friend who offers safety and comfort
Go for a walk.
Stand barefoot in the grass.
Tidy one drawer. Or the fridge. Or nothing at all.
Tiny things can shift the weather inside us.
And if today is a slump day, it helps to trust and have faith that it won’t be forever.
Small steps can help change the weather inside ☀️
#mental #mentalhealthsupport #mentalhealth
For so long, we mistook the stiff upper lip for resilience.
We thought strength meant swallowing our feelings, staying composed, carrying on.
But true resilience is not the absence of pain — it is the experience of feeling pain, moving through it, and discovering that we can survive it.
For children, this is not something they should have to do alone.
To build resilience they need a steady adult beside them: someone who is not afraid of their sadness, who does not rush to fix it, or explain it away - but someone who can help them feel without getting lost in the feeling.
Here’s a short reel with some tips I hope you may find helpful
And if FEELING feels alien .. there’s lots I can share for you too 😉❤️
Sending all love and thank you for the very many messages … and for sharing your stories - I hope in the sharing it helps for your own emotions and story to feel witnessed and honoured 🙏🏼
#grief #griefjourney #parenting #emotional
Grief is not one single emotion to be fixed, but a human response to loss that asks to be honoured
If we allow ourselves to sit with sadness, gently, honestly - and not be consumed by it - we show our children that difficult emotions can be felt, held - and importantly - moved through
I’ll be sharing more in the coming days on how we can support ourselves and our children experience loss with tenderness, safety, and connection
The garden is my ‘safe place’ and was something I enjoyed enormously with my mum … I’m so thrilled to be working with @thechildrenssociety@project.giving.back@patrick_clarke_landscapes for @the_rhs as we too will explore how nature helps us to sit with difficult emotions and processes & retire our nervous system to balance - I look forward to sharing more on this too 🌳🌳🤍#parenting #grief #griefjourney #griefsupport
I feel as though I’ve been holding my breath for a very long time
Last summer my dear mum was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.
Having initially chosen to forgo treatment, she later discovered a clinical trial and requested to take part. At 83, having chemotherapy and immunotherapy was no mean feat, but mum showed incredible bravery and stoicism as she returned each week for treatment. It was as much she said, to help her have more time , as to help others who were sadly in the same situation
The trial drugs showed great promise and mum’s tumour shrank by 42 %
Sadly, however the cancer caught up with her and she passed, peacefully and with great grace on Wednesday 8th April
I am grateful for so much - and my sisters and I know how lucky we are to have had mum with us for as long as we did.
My relationship with my mum was complex and had not been without difficulty in earlier decades. I attribute therapy to being able to heal the wounds that existed - and for being able to love my mum - and come to a enjoy a great sense of peace and understanding between us that saw us forge the most beautiful bond in our later years
It means I am able now to remember her for all the good times and all the wonderful things she did - and the joy she brought and support she gave to all in her family. I shall remember her laugh, her sense of style, her logic, intelligence, her protection and love for her family and her extraordinary energy and capacity to ‘do’
Sharing a carousel then in honour of Patricia Ann Silverton 29th April 1942 - 8th April 2026
Fly well mum and give dad a big kiss from us all
BBC news presenter Kate Silverton stepped back from her career in journalism in 2021 to fulfil her ambition of becoming a child therapist. She joins Izzy Judd on The Music & Meditation Podcast to explore the role of meditation and therapy in emotional self-regulation, and to help listeners connect with their inner child. Listen to the fascinating conversation in full on BBC Sounds.
The beautiful music for Kate's guided meditation in this episode was composed by Millicent James and recorded by the BBC Singers.
Our fears and own childhood conditioning can quietly drive our parenting.
We may tell ourselves: “If I give in now, they’ll never be resilient.”
“If I rescue them, they’ll give up easily.”
But here’s the nervous-system truth:
Resilience isn’t built by being ‘thrown in at the deep end’
Resilience is built when a child’s fear is first met with connection.
When your child is afraid - perhaps trying something for the first time or having a wobble about a swim class or drama lesson - take a breath - this is not how it’s always going to be - your child just needs you right now to settle them .. when they feel you’re with them — steady, calm, anchored — their body can settle… and THEN they can exercise that resilience muscle !
So instead of pushing harder, try:
“I can see you’re scared sweetheart - can you help mummy / daddy understand why? .”
“I’m right here. It’s ok. I’m with you.”
“Come, let me sit with you”
“I’ll ask the teacher if I can watch you this week!’
Support first. Safety first.
And from that safe harbour… bravery grows.
#parenting #nervoussystem #emotionalregulation #gentleparenting #resilience childdevelopment attachment traumainformed thebiologyofbelonging
So much of what we have traditionally ( sadly ) called “naughty” behaviour, is actually a sign of a child’s nervous system communicating one thing:
I don’t feel SAFE.
When a child doesn’t feel safe, their brain prioritises survival — scanning, bracing, reacting.
Fight / flight / freeze / flop: the protective states all animals move into under stress.
If your child is feeling what I call “fizzy” — frightened or overwhelmed — it becomes incredibly hard to listen, learn, cooperate, or think clearly.
So, as we begin @_place2be Children’s Mental Health Week — whether we’re parents, teachers, or caregivers — the first question we must ask when a child’s behaviour is big (or confusing) is:
Do they feel safe?
And then we can move away from:
“What’s WRONG with you?!”
towards:
“What’s going on for you right now?”
…and then “How can I help?”
Because when we offer a child safe haven (even when their seas are stormy), their nervous system can settle, and then their behaviour will settle too.
In There’s No Such Thing As ‘Naughty’ and There’s STILL No Such Thing As ‘Naughty’ I share the science behind all the big, challenging behaviours — and explain why it’s the nervous system we must first consider, not “naughty”
I’d love to hear all the ways you now put your child’s emotional safety FIRST .. and any questions you may have if this is possibly the first time you have heard behaviour explained this way …
I’ll be here throughout the week sharing simple ways to build felt safety at home and in the classroom. 🌊🫶
#parenting #parentingtips #katesilverton #theresnosuchthingasnaughty childrensmentalhealthweek mentalhealth
Big behaviour after school isn’t “naughty”.
It’s dysregulation.
Stomping. Snapping. Pushing back. Tears. Rage. Silence.
That’s your child’s nervous system saying: “I’ve held it together all day… and now I can’t.”
All day long our children will have been carrying things we didn’t see:
navigating friendships, concentrating, being corrected, coping with noise, rules, expectations, hormones, hunger, tiredness… sometimes a quiet worry they can’t name.
Home is where the lid comes off.
Our job isn’t to fix it in that moment.
Our job is to be the container.
Not problem-solving. Not interrogating. Not correcting.
But soothing. Listening. Being close enough to say:
“I hear you.”
“That sounds really hard.”
“No WONDER you’re feeling a bit rubbish / fizzy / cross’”
If it feels alien to meet your child’s emotional state with a soothing one — it may be because no-one met YOUR big feelings with tenderness - and this is where you’re not alone.
Meeting crossness with compassion can make us feel conflicted or even “patronising”.
But when you meet your child authentically in their anguish, it’s medicine.
Every time we meet dysregulation with warmth, we’re doing something profound:
we’re teaching our children’s nervous system that relationships are safe… and that feelings are survivable.
That’s not indulgence.
That’s future mental health.
🫶 What does after-school look like in your house?
#TherapeuticParenting #AfterSchoolMeltdown #NervousSystemSupport #EmotionalRegulation #ConnectionBeforeCorrection GentleParenting AttachmentParenting CoRegulation BigFeelings NotNaughty ParentingSupport ChildMentalHealth RaiseResilientKids HoldTheBoundaryHoldTheChild ParentingTools
Tree planting today …
Science is slowly catching up with what our ancestors intuitively knew — that being around trees is good for us.
It changes how we breathe.
It soothes the nervous system.
It allows us to be still
When we made the decision to uproot from London to move to the country two years ago
it was because I wanted for me, and my family to live a life more surrounded by trees
Finally, today, in our new home, we got to put down our permanent roots
And welcome these beauties
Taxus Baccata - the ancient yew - it holds a special place in my system
It’s a tree of continuity, protection, stillness and depth
It represents both death, and regeneration
And refuge
So today really felt like I was finally home
I’ve loved spending time learning the Latin names for the native species we’re introducing - and the folklore that surrounds them.
I’ve received such wonderful help and advice from nurseries and especially Marianne @chewvalleytrees@new_wood_trees@charlieflounders@grasslands@tendercarenurseriesltd and working with my brilliant arborist Richard @bartonhyett - thank you ! It’s been a privilege to watch him and his team at work today, to learn more about the trees I am planting, and to give them a permanent home, planting not just for now, but for generations to come ❤️🌲🌳
#tree #garden #arborist #yew @the_rhs@rhschelsea@alexatchelsea ( can’t wait for Chelsea this year !) @paulcullenpartnerships
