SELWI
Today is the release of my contribution to the vinyl Series ‘What We Talk About, When We Talk About Love’
Nr10/13
with and on
@blaublaurecords -
my immune system and family, fostering me since 2014
@davideenzio @bureau_mia @hannahraschle @giuliaspek , mrk,
@rea.ae @fabeliepoulain @zooey.agro - I’ve seldom seen this much dedication, love and hard work coming to life as it has in those 13 releases and the label.
You inspire me so much, I love you.
This music is dedicated to my mom Esther.
A last goodbye as a reminder that there is no last goodbye
her sudden passing hit me unexpectedly and sent me to a surreal place.
I expected the bottomless pain, I didn’t expect the shift in my grounds, the passing and what got passed on to me.
It made me fragile af, separating me from the world, disconnecting me, anxieties and insecurities I never before dealt with came up -
grief came with many faces.
It happend when I was in NYC, writing new music before everything changed. I changed. By way of detour I landed in Poschiavo, the only family home still existing. When I got there, I understood that this is the last place holding memories of my childhood with her.
There I wrote momentum music, processing to understand and feel close to her.
In hindsight I still took care of her, I felt she hasn’t expected it either, she could never talk about death, even though she was seriously ill many times.
She told me that not talking and thinking about her diseases made her defeat them.
I believed her, as I saw it several times.
It also made me sad that we couldn’t speak about it, but when she was gone, there was nothing unsaid in between.
From her I learned to honor my ancestors, to build things, to take care of myself and others, to treat myself well, self love and to appreciate the present and the precious time together.
I had the best friends family getting my back from all over the world -
I’m deeply grateful for your care, your thoughts, your letters and help ❤️🩹
Thank you
@johannsebastianhi for being able to dive in, visiting Poschiavo, making music and mix with me xx
