nine years ago i had what felt like the worst summer of my life (little did he know), but was digging my way out with music and songwriting and friends. i ended up booking a show at rockwood music hall in new york at the end of september, and my mom and dad really really wanted to come, but i felt like i needed this trip to be a solo thing to clear my head. they ended up staying home. well, joke’s on me because less than a month afterward, my mom was diagnosed with esophageal cancer, and a month after that, she was gone. just like that.
i’m still trying to find some deep meaning from all of it, and often come to the conclusion that there isn’t one. almost a decade later, i am still fucked up and traumatized by the quickness of it all. that someone who brought you into this world can just disappear forever, without warning. i guess that means that the lesson might be to cherish the little moments you get with everyone that passes through your life, because tomorrow they might be a memory. that, and if your parents wanna fly to new york to see you play, let them. i dunno. i’ll be scratching my head wondering why all this had to happen the way it did for the rest of my life.
anyway, this is a recording of “to live is to fly” from that rockwood show, and it’s always felt like the antidote to all the nihilism i feel from time to time—that even with all the shit life throws at you, there is some hope, you just have to go find it. i don’t think kathy was deep into townes van zandt, but she would have loved this, and i wish she had been there to see it.
“to live is to fly all low and high, so shake the dust off of your wings and the tears out of your eyes”
happy mother’s day everyone, and cheers to the best to have ever done it 🍻🇮🇪❤️
(my bud
@patrickdyerwolf is playing guitar on this with me. thanks again for ripping into the city from jersey for a fun little club show)
#happymothersday #townesvanzandt #toliveistofly
