#sexaddiction #motherwound #masculinity #woundedmasculinity #healing
Credit @jennfunkbrokenopen
Nathan Ross
Attachment Project
/personal-courses/limerence-workbook/
Living with limerence
/tipping-points-in-a-limerence-affair/
Choose recovery services
/lusts-roots-in-trauma/
Jay Stringer (author of unwanted)
Dr Michael Barta (author of TINSA)
/5-day-intensive/
Sex And Love Addiction books:
Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way You Love by Pia Mellody
Sex and Love Addicts by Anonymous
Addiction to Love: Overcoming Obsession and Dependency in Relationships by Susan Peabody
Arousal: The Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasies by Dr. Michael J. Bader
Recovery Workbook for Love Addicts and Love Avoidants by Susan Peabody
Is it Love or Is It Addiction: The book that changed the way we think about romance and intimacy by Brenda Schaeffer
Out of the Doghouse by Rob Weiss
Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction by Robert Weiss PhD LCSW
Wired for Intimacy: How Pornography Hijacks the Male Brain by William M. Struthers
Stop Sex Addiction: Real Hope, True Freedom for Sex Addicts and Partners by Milton S Magness
Help.Them.Heal Teaching You Both How to Heal Your Relationship by Carol Juergensen Sheets
Sex Addiction; Wisdom From the Masters by Carol Juergensen Sheets
How to Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair by Linda MacDonald
Allies in Healing: When the Person You Love Was Sexually Abused as a Child by Laura Davis
Sexual Anorexia: Overcoming Sexual Self-Hatred by Patrick J Carnes Ph.D
Going Deeper: How the Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual Addiction by Eddie Capparucci
/books/
@stefanossifandos
“I used sex a lot, sex, food, and alcohol. It was all to avoid this stuff that I didn’t want to feel. And then eventually, in my very early 30s, I started feeling this isn’t for me anymore.”
From This Tantric Life with Layla Martin: The Rite of Passage That’ll Create Your Most Powerful Relationship with Stefanos Sifandos | 23, 10 Dec 2023
/gb/podcast/this-tantric-life-with-layla-martin/id1685418994?i=1000638093901
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This means learning stability, emotional regulation, responsibility, protection, patience, boundaries, and care before trying to provide those things to someone else.
You first.
A lot of men interpret that message externally instead of internally.
They become a father (biologically, socially, or psychologically) hoping the role itself will heal wounds they never addressed and fill the void.
Sometimes it does motivate internal growth but more often it becomes a form of bypassing.
Many boys grow up without consistent emotional safety, guidance, or affirmation.
They carry unmet needs such as wanting to feel needed,
wanting unconditional love, wanting respect,
wanting to prove they’re “good men,”
wanting to rewrite their own childhood story.
Fatherhood can seem like the perfect answer because it offers an identity, purpose, emotional attachment,
social validation, - a chance to do better than my dad.
But becoming a father and developing the capacity to father well are not automatically the same thing.
A man can love his child deeply and still lack:
emotional maturity,
self-awareness,
impulse control,
conflict skills,
consistency,
the ability to tolerate stress without withdrawal or anger,
the ability to nurture without needing validation in return.
When the inner work is skipped, fatherhood sometimes becomes an unconscious attempt to repair the self through the child (which never works)
That can look like:
needing the child’s love to feel whole,
expecting gratitude too early,
becoming controlling because chaos feels unsafe,
emotionally disappearing when overwhelmed,
resenting the sacrifices,
repeating the same emotional neglect he swore he’d never repeat,
confusing providing materially with being emotionally present.
In those cases, the role of “father” becomes symbolic armor against unresolved pain rather than the result of genuine maturation.
growth usually requires things that fatherhood itself cannot automatically teach:
grieving your own childhood honestly,
accepting responsibility without shame,
learning emotional literacy,
building discipline before crisis forces it.. #fatherwound
Recent research and therapeutic approaches suggest that compulsive behaviors, particularly those of a sexual nature, may be intrinsically linked to our past experiences and unresolved trauma. This perspective invites us to look beyond the surface-level understanding of addiction and delve into the rich, often painful, narratives that shape our desires and actions.
Lust as a Reenactment of Trauma
One groundbreaking concept in this field is the idea that lust is not merely a form of escape or pleasure-seeking, but a reenactment of trauma. This theory posits that our deepest desires and most troubling compulsions often stem from moments of profound hurt, shame, or powerlessness in our past. @choose_recovery_services
#fatherwound #relationships #toxicrelationships #women
The most passionate relationship you’ve ever had was probably your most toxic one.
Your brain treats love like a slot machine. It responds more to unpredictable rewards than consistent ones.
They connect → dopamine floods.
They pull away → cortisol spikes.
They come back → massive relief.
Your brain tags this as “love.”
But it’s actually an addiction.
The intensity wasn’t because they were special.
It was because your nervous system was dysregulated.
@attachmentadam
Search “Why Intimacy Feels Amazing With the Wrong People” on YouTube.
