bayley turner

thirty-six 2.0 let’s go!! Gadigal crew, I’m so excited to bring this show your way, get your tickets now! only TWO MONTHS til opening night! “Beautifully touching…life-affirming as it is death confronting. It’s a call to arms, a call to action” @keithgow We are so thankful to @qtopia_sydney for having us in their iconic space, and we hope to contribute something special to the lineage of trans storytelling there. The show has grown up a little since our @fortyfivedownstairs debut. I’m beginning to think of this season as thirty-six (Baylor’s Version) or thirty-six (Mine) as this time I’ve put my money where my heart is, co-producing with @kitan.petkovski . In going independent, we’ve crystallised the production to just being me on stage. It’s gonna be hard without my brother @alexandra.amerides but I’m excited for where the one-woman format takes us, how it earths the show and connects more deeply with those who come to see us. please come, please share this with your friends, please bring your mums. link in bio. thirty-six is for anyone facing the horizon of their life, and wondering what it will take to make it there.

day one hundred twenty-one. six years ago, i laid on my bed, feeling a truth rise to the surface, clawing its way through the dirt I had buried it beneath for thirty years, breaching and taking its first breath. looking in the mirror, i saw myself for the first time. fascinated, fixated, free. shortly after, once the euphoria and relief had passed, when the reality had set in and the horrific stories my culture had told me about what kind of life awaited threatened to smother me, i was sat on the bed in the room i had escaped to from london in the middle of a global health crisis. i was dissociating, staring at the chest of drawers and thinking about what the recent discovery of my womanhood would cost me. and i had a very frank, sympathetic, brutal conversation with myself. astrally projecting myself back to that moment, i wrap my arms around that sweet, vulnerable, terrified, days-old girl, and whisper in her ear “you’re wrong. you’re about to get everything you ever wanted”. these past six years have amazed me. my heart overflows thinking of everything i have done, everyone i’ve connected with, every adventure i’ve embarked upon, every risk i’ve taken, every quiet moment enjoyed in my own centeredness. and then I think of what’s still to come. life’s so fun. happy tranniversary. happy birthday, B.

day ninety. 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️ #tdov #transpride What comes after Trans Day of Visibility? Trans Day of Vision. Today, reach out to the trans people in your life. Let them know you see them, you love them, you dream for them, you are on their side in this fight, you are committed to keeping a place for them in our shared future. and share their stories, you never know how long they have left to tell them.

day forty-one. my thirty-sixth birthday. a day i tend to concertina together all the people i have been at this time in years gone by, and I’ve found they are pleased with the expressive, relentless, unseemly, grounded, visionary woman I’ve become. more than that, they are relieved that all their hard work, their quiet struggles, their unreasonable self-belief has wrought together such cherished friendships, opportunities, experiences and even love. last year’s girl in particular, who had just closed a play she’d co-written and performed about reaching this very age, is weeping at how far beyond even her heights i have travelled. next year’s girl is disappointed i am not yet as radical, outspoken, streetwise, attentive or effective as she intends to be, but I assure her I’m on the path. there’s still further to go. closer connection to community on the ground. being more ethical, political, being even louder. taking better care of my health. listening more closely to my body. planning effectively for the next thirty-six years, and all the sociopolitical complexities they promise. nurturing the planet and the climate. learning from my elders. investing in my peers. touching more grass. preserving my peace of mind. letting even more love in. letting even more pain in. letting even more strength in. all we really need to do in this life is endure. there are times to ebb and flow, times to withdraw and times to risk everything. these past days I’ve been shown the importance of noticing one another, remembering each others’ names, witnessing our collective euphoria, speaking earnestly, and affording oneself a little recklessness now and then. it is a privilege to age, to have another page arrive for you to write on. or paint on, or piss on, or scrunch or blot or burn. this time we have together is special. it’s sacred. it’s finite. i know i prattle on, i just really love sharing this day with all of you: freaks and ratbags and weirdos and sweethearts and slurs and stars. I shall love it as much tomorrow I expect, should we be lucky enough that it comes.

day thirty-three. this is what white-knuckling life looks like. the girl i was a year ago is weeping with joy at how far i’ve come: in my friendships, my comradeship, my communication, my creative efforts and my focus on what my body is telling me. there is still far to go and much to do, but the first steps have been strong and sure-footed. staying present is about letting the moments land in your body, not simply moving on to the next one leaving your heart and mind (and nervous system) to catch up. the highlight of course was my time collaborating with @zoeterakes @dino__dimitriadis @thearaveneau on Hermaphroditus as part of @greendoortheatreco Trans Theatre Festival, my day as a performer on the @malthousetheatre stage. An experience that awakened my need to heal wounds in my cultural connection, my sexual liberation, my artistic expression and the shadows around my articulate, guarded, highly controlled style of authenticity. more primal screaming in twenty twenty six. as the year of the snake ends with a leo full moon blaze of glory, the year of the horse raring to bolt, we’re reminded to keep our grip on the reins. don’t fall prey to the pace of the current, don’t lose sight of what’s really going on for you and around you. if you have a plan, stick to it, stay on course. don’t be distracted, don’t be disinterested, don’t be desensitised. be determined. wishing a potent and replenishing aquarius season to you all. cover image by @jarradshotme xo

day one. i heard myself say“just because i’m happy, doesn’t mean i’m healed” in the first few hours of twenty twenty six. i may be realising my biggest creative dreams this year, but my biggest goal is to get right with my body. my twenty twenty six mantra: HYDRATE. NOURISH. MOVE. RECOVER. these are battle cries. these are guideposts on the path. these are bare essentials that for too long have been deprioritised & dismissed. twenty twenty five was the year my wonderful, vibrant, sensual, transformative, abused, exhausted body said ENOUGH. without her, without us being on the same team, i cannot do all the incredible things in store. performing with @zoeterakes in their revelatory new show ‘Hermaphroditus’, standing alongside my @vicpridecentre Telling It with Pride Speaker colleagues to share our stories for @midsummafestival , joining @kitan.petkovski and a bevvy of friends to bring @benmacellen ’s beautiful work ‘The Placeholder’ to life, gathering community for @griffintheatre fiftieth anniversary production of ‘The Elocution of Benjamin Franklin’, and of course tour the play that changed my life i wrote with @jo.teatro ‘Thirty-Six’ to @qtopia_sydney in July. beyond that I’m working on a new play with her, I’m recreating my first solo show ‘Burlesque by Force’ into something new, having a crack at a short film script, and getting started on my next poetry collection (get the first two at @avenuebookstore @little_bookroom and @hareshyenas ). the support of my community means everything to me, but I have to be as accountable to my failures as i am celebratory of my successes. i have failed time and time again to take proper care of my gut, my skin, my teeth, my core muscles, my feet, my back, my immune system and my nervous system. don’t echo my mistakes. as queer people especially, we need to play the long game to make sure our bodies can carry us through the battles to come for ours and other’s rights, freedoms, safety. sharing our visions for ourselves, sharing our shedding of old skins, is the first step to manifestation & actualisation. with all my love & encouragement for the year ahead. cover: @matthewtaylorthomas final: @jdavies.studio

it’s Trans Awareness Week, and I’m thinking it’s time for a name change. swipe if you agree. share if you’re with me. i’m also thinking you need to be getting on board with @transjusticeau @transcend_australia and your local orgs and community groups. i’m also thinking you should get along to a trans event this week. buy some trans art. tip a trans hospo worker. invite a trans friend around for dinner. buy a trans person a drink at the bar. donate to a trans community fund. show up for trans people. i’m also thinking you should follow my role models who teach me so much and embolden me to speak @ayshabuffet @bobickmore @babydilfx @sam_dengate @jackiemaeturner @drew__by__drew @the.queer.gaze @zoeterakes @georgiestone @mama.alto @loveisbailey @therealalexandrabillings @elle.deran @plasticmessiah looking forward to being with community this week and continuing to share space, story and safety. cover image by @matthewtaylorthomas (also buy my books please and thank you) #transawarenessweek #tdor #transisbeautiful #transpride #protectthedolls #protecttranskids #transgender #translivesmatter

have you got your copy of ‘16,000km or so’ yet? swipe for a cheeky preview of the poems and key memories behind them. this collection is about the healing power of queer relationships, and the stand we must make against the tidal wave of hate and prejudice forming from the base of that white house. i have ten copies left on hand, DM me and I’m happy to sign and ship them your way, otherwise support local bookstores @avenuebookstore @little_bookroom AND NOW @hareshyenas who all carry both of my collections, or you can order through the link in bio. and if you are, or frequent, an indie bookstore around Australia lmk and I’ll reach out to see if I can get stocked there. still can’t believe my writing is on the shelves of shops. dream come true. i’m on the lookout for more places to read at too, if you have any recommendations. in the meantime get your butts to bloodletting @takingup.space @kentst if you want to hear some of these pieces live. thank you to everyone who has given my craft a home, and shared how the work has impacted you. i can’t wait to update you all with what’s to come. cover photo by @matthewtaylorthomas

what better day than @giveoutday_au to make the donations to @beyondbricksbars @sisters_inside_inc with profits from the launch of ‘16,000km or so’ at @avenuebookstore with so many thanks to everyone who bought tickets, books and drinks x in the name of full transparency, we made $1,115 from the event. after reconciling the spend on drinks, speaker fees and cost price of the books, noting some drinks were donated by @bobickmore and our venue’s generous support, left us with $325 each to donate to two organisations supporting incarcerated people and decarceration initiatives for First Nations and Trans and Gender Diverse communities respectively, whose risk of isolation, discrimination, withheld healthcare, violence and death in custody is exponentially higher. I’ve been honoured to work with @giveoutday_au @rainbowgivingau as part of Amplify and it is such an important day to put our money where our mouth is when it comes to endorsing and reinforcing initiatives that keep our community safe and surviving. Check out the website to give to your favourites (if you get it processed today, your donation could even be matched - that means double dollarydoos). I’m so thankful that my second book could continue to do good, it is now available at Avenue (and soon to be more exciting bookstores near you - stay tuned!!). You can also order copies from me directly or via the link in bio for shipping worldwide. cover image by @matthewtaylorthomas

‘16,000km or so’, my second book of poetry and poetry is is now available! link in bio. still riding cloud nine after the book launch at @avenuebookstore featuring @bobickmore @knightofvoid17 and @eli_mcg_ surrounded by friends and strangers connecting over shared stories of politics, the healing power of queer relationships and the importance of art-making. absent among the crowd though were two people who were core to the creation of this collection, and while they were deeply missed on the night, they were present in my heart and my words. the journey to America that provides the scope of the book was the brainchild of @littleelfman wanting to write their own book and follow @toriamos on her path set out in her seminal work Scarlet’s Walk, which this collection directly correlates with. with Michael to write, their partner @tlwvision to photograph and me to drive we grew as friends and as human beings and I’m so grateful for this once-in-a-lifetime creative pilgrimage. I hope this book brings readers an opening of the mind, deepening of the connections, emboldening of the craft and activation in the rebellion. be sure to share your thoughts on the work, favourite pieces and lines, and insights gained about the world within and beyond the words on the pages. thank you to everyone who joined us or sent love and support our way. keep an eye out for the book at @avenuebookstore and @little_bookroom (and perhaps more to be announced!!) or get your copy from the link above. ‘find a little in you, find a little in me, we may be on this road’ - A Sorta Fairytale, Tori Amos

coming to the launch? thursday 9 october 7pm we’re gathering at @avenuebookstore on swan st richmond to give 16,000km or so a proper coming out party. hosted by @bobickmore featuring readings by @knightofvoid17 @eli_mcg_ (plus a lil interview and some readings from me) I’m still tickled pink to partner with bloodletting @takingup.space for this dream come true x grab your tickets from the link in bio - we have cheap/free tickets available - and profits from the event and copies sold on the night being donated to @sisters_inside_inc and @incarceratedtgdfund this collection of poetry, prose and little treats from my travels to the divided states of america with @littleelfman @tlwvision is all about the healing nature of queerness and queer relationships. i cannot wait to share this with those of you who can make it x hero image by @matthewtaylorthomas

tracklist drop. swipe for the twenty-six poems that make up ‘16,000km or so’, but there’s plenty more to this collection than that. the countdown is on until the official release on Thursday 9th October 7pm. ticket link in bio x and can we take a moment for the dress?! when we were travelling through New York, I spent a day with my once boss and mentor, now treasured friend and one of my biggest cheerleaders @ybellamy who took me to @farmrio to play dress-ups. somehow this gorgeous piece miraculously made its way into my suitcase. the first time I wore it was for my first date with @knightofvoid17 which I was nervous about because until that point I’d always skewed androgynous and sexy in my style of dress (read: armour), thinking I had no business attempting to look “pretty”. but I chose vulnerability and I’d say it paid off ;) so it’s become a bit of an icon in my wardrobe. so here’s to you Yvette and Aaron x and of course to @matthewtaylorthomas for capturing it so beautifully on camera. tracklist: time / i was living in the heat of the moment / gobbledygook / carrier / necromancy / salvation / rainbow / sure / the sounds of vanishing / my happiness / -ect / Humming / Mary / we’re f*gg*ts forever / Mrs Zealot / lol / a pound of flesh / Cherry Blossoms in January The Texas Chain Saw Massacre / Massachusetts / feet off the grass / American ghosts / and I try / Maundy, MT / in a sense reclaimed / maybe in another ten years’ time each poem corresponds with a song from Tori Amos’ Scarlet’s Walk and Scarlet’s Hidden Treasures.