Stef Willen

I didn’t get an Oscar. But who’s counting? I am. I’m counting all the awards that weren’t the Oscar—awards that aren’t part of any machine, that have launched my career as a human being, that shine with illumination and are the reason I’m sometimes glowing. A few of the shiniest: I hear “This film changed my life” and “I’m watching it on a regular basis, so I can realize what’s possible when everything seems hopeless.” I hear from other queers. I hear from bros. I hear from those with cancer and those who love someone with cancer. I hear from the old, the young. I hear “This film is for everyone.” I hear that a man took his MAGA hat off the top of his Christmas tree after seeing our film. I hear “I’ve been a little take it or leave it with life, but when I saw how badly Andrea wanted to be here, I realized I need to look for what makes me want to stay.” I lean against a theatre bar, watching our film begin, and behind me, 4 bartenders stand at their posts, shifting, yawning, texting. Near the middle of the film, I notice them again—arms around each other, heads in the crooks of necks or leaned against another head, cheeks shiny, smiles widening, and I think: ‘This is what our film can do,’ and I can’t stop watching them. Our film shows in my hometown, and my cousin, who I came out to 26 years ago—in fits and spurts, while trembling—brings her daughter and her daughter’s girlfriend, and this time I approach her proud, and the queer people in my family are not trembling, they’re beaming. My mother, always nervous about people seeing her in a wheelchair, leaves the house for the first time in a decade to go our screening in Santa Fe. She sits beside me in a space designated handicapped and cries because of what she is watching, not because of who she thinks is watching her. Continued in comments~

happy birthday to my bestest friend @stef.willen . stef, no one’s brain works quite like yours does. i hope modern science studies it one day in pursuit of how to be hilarious & singular & the best kind of strange. stef, when people don’t realize how funny you are i feel sadness and pity for them. what a gift of my life - to GET you. you show up in a crisis and make it hilarious. you saved andrea and i more times than i can count. you dropped your own world to hold mine up - again & again & again. stef, you’re a genius & the goodest friend & i love getting in fights with you because we’re always stronger after & you can’t just say that about anyone. my oscar’s date. what a delight walking red carpets these last months even though i once lost you in a bookstore and described you to the book seller as someone who “is really pretty but looks like she’s probably wearing yesterdays clothes and would be more comfortable with a piece of straw in her mouth.” stef, who wants to know if she’s popularized thumbing. stef, who all dogs are obsessed with. stef, who knew the documentary was a love story since the very beginning. stef, who doesn’t just wear andrea’s name around her neck, but mine too. stef, we’re so close that people have wondered if we are dating. we are definitely not dating. i like to say we’re in love with our clothes on. which is the best kind of best friend. i know andrea felt safer to let go because i had you. can’t think of a better compliment & i know you can’t either. ♥️ 🤠 max & finny forever. i love you.

truly something special about seeing “come see me in the good light” on the big screen, in community. but be mindful of who you sit beside, because you’ll probably end up holding their hand at some point. strangers included. here are a few opportunities to watch our academy-award nominated film in theaters. otherwise, it’s streaming on apple tv. ⚡️

sometimes i feel like andrea’s earthside delegate. like it’s my responsibility to represent them when i walk into rooms. to make sure their message continues. that their light never goes out. and part of me believes that light should arrive in hot pink. in feathers. in the colors and textures of loving, of living. i can’t imagine a better group of co-delegates than the people who helped make “come see me in the good light.” they carry andrea alongside me onto these red (and blue) carpets. into rooms we could have never predicted. into hearts that once thought themselves closed.

It is a massive honor for everyone who worked on COME SEE ME IN THE GOOD LIGHT to be nominated for this year’s Academy Award! Thank you to @andreagibson and @meganfalley for allowing us into their beautiful lives to document their final year together. This film was made with so much love from every single individual who touched it, including the incredible group below (and more!). We are so grateful. —— Director Ryan White @white815 Producers Jessica Hargrave ( @jessicalhargrave ), Ryan White ( @white815 ), Tig Notaro ( @therealfluffnotaro ), Stef Willen ( @stef.willen ) Executive Producers Glennon Doyle ( @glennondoyle ), Abby Wambach ( @abbywambach ), Lauren Haber ( @laurenrhaber ), Joe Lewis ( @joelewis ), Rachel Eggebeen ( @reggebeen ), Colin King Miller, Catherine Carlile, Brandi Carlile ( @brandicarlile ), Susan Yeagley ( @sukiyeagley ), Kevin Nealon ( @kevinnealon ), Galia Gichon ( @pagesandmore ), Sara Bareilles ( @sarabareilles ), Amanda Doyle ( @amandafdoyle ), Christi Offutt, Soraida Bedoya, Melony Lewis, Adam Lewis, @amplifypics Editor Berenice Chávez ( @bnicexvz ) Director of Photography Brandon Somerhalder ( @brandsomer ) Music By Blake Neely ( @blakeneelycows ) Production Sound Mixer Dave Richards ( @davesound ) Co-Executive Producers Alex Kurtzman ( @alexkurtzmanofficial ), Samantha Kurtzman-Counter ( @skcounter ), Chandra Jessee ( @chandrajessee ), Rebecca Lichtenfeld ( @rebeccafanya ) (Inmaat Foundation) ( @inmaatfoundation ) Co-Producer Grace Oathout ( @the.groat ) Line Producer Brett Hardy Blake ( @bretthblake ) Lead Assistant Editor Aliyah Bryant ( @aliyahibryant ) Post Production Supervisor Dillon Brown ( @dillonbrown.89 ) Colorist Stephen Derluguian ( @sderlug ) 2nd Unit DP Dominique Hessert Owens ( @dominiquehessert ) Asst Production Office Coordinator Olivia Hicks ( @livbhicks ) PAs Nick Stanley ( @nickstanley15 ) Georgia Pressley ( @gapressley ) Assistant Editor M Auday ( @gender_envy ) Supervising Sound Editor Brent Kiser ( @unbridledsound ) Legal Victoria Cook, Benjamin Moskowitz, Melissa Georges (@frankfurtkurnit ) #comeseemeinthegoodlight #oscars #academyaward

If you want to start writing, or work on your writing, or remember that you love writing, or find out what you love about writing…I highly recommend Ariel’s class. Link in comments. DO IT.

Our film was nominated for an Oscar this morning…and I am on the moon! Over the moon! Every which way you can be with the moon! This film started with love, was made with love and is spreading love. I am so thrilled for all of us, especially @meganfalley and Andrea Gibson—who, even without a body—is still making the world a better place.

Friends in the New York area, MR NOBODY AGAINST PUTIN, an Oscar-shortlisted film is having its theatrical release starting TONIGHT at the IFC. Special Q&A after with executive producer Robin Hessman! Tickets at link in comments. I can’t wait to see this film!!

If you were not able to get tickets to the screening of COME SEE ME IN THE GOOD LIGHT in Santa Fe, we are screening again at The Guild in Albuquerque Dec 30, three screenings in one day! I’d love it if you could come. I’m extremely biased, but I think watching this film, amongst community in the theater, is a great way to end the year and begin another… See you there! Link to tix in comments

Albuquerque! Come to a special screening of Come See Me in the Good Light, the documentary I made about my dear friends, spoken word icon Andrea Gibson, and their partner, poet, Megan Falley, navigating incurable cancer. It’s a love story – – between two poets and between life and death itself. Dec 30 only! Three showings: Tue 3:00, 5:15, 7:30pm 3405 Central NE ABQ NM 87106 I will be there for a Q &A. Can’t wait to see all your faces! Link to tix in comments

Santa Fe! I’m thrilled to share that Come See Me in the Good Light—the multi-award-winning documentary I made about my dear friends, spoken-word icon Andrea Gibson and their brilliant partner Megan Falley—will screen at the CCA for two nights only: November 15 & 16. Many of you know Andrea passed away this summer from incurable ovarian cancer, but this isn’t a film about dying—it’s about living and loving more deeply in the face of mortality. Andrea and Meg were my favorite place to be—I’ve never laughed harder or had more interesting conversations. Now you get to be with them too. Andrea was a prolific artist, who changed and saved lives. They never spoke over heads but straight to hearts. This film was the art they were most proud of—the culmination of their will to unite instead of divide, to leave this world a more loving and accepting place, and to leave it as honestly and tenderly as possible. Come See Me in the Good Light premieres on AppleTV, November 14, but it’s best experienced in community. I hope you can make it. Tix at link in bio. ** It’s come to my attention that people are having trouble getting tickets if they use their phone. If you use your computer, it works!**

When Andrea Gibson found out they had incurable cancer, they found love. This is a love story and a story about living your best life with @andreagibson and @meganfalley . Andrea, whose whole life was devoted to making art, was most proud of Come See Me in the Good Light. It airs worldwide on Apple TV November 14th. #ComeSeeMeInTheGoodLight