“Art doesn’t heal grief... but it gives it a place to stand.”
On my birthday, I found myself inside my brother’s performance art: a tribute to our late dad. I’ve never believed that grief should be the only canvas for art. But I am my brother’s younger brother, and I am my late father’s son. That’s enough reason to stand by whatever form of expression my family needs to make sense of loss.
The show was heavy, abstract yet piercingly clear, filled with the emotions my brother has wrestled with while painting our father’s portrait. For us, it was the first time watching his Hea-Lang series. He cried, he clenched his teeth, he struggled and he took a breather in moments. A circle closed — because when the first Hea-Lang was staged years ago, our father sat in the audience, watched, and even wrote about it in his own words as both artist and writer.
Tonight, I was called to the front. So were my sisters, Hernani and Aishah. And for the first time, all of us siblings stood together, arms around each other, holding on. That embrace might have been the truest performance of the night to me.
I still don’t fully “get” my brother’s art... maybe I never will. But tonight proved I don’t need to. What matters is presence, not preference. To show up when it matters most I suppose.
Together, we completed our papa's abstract portrait. For our family hroup show - our second and last show “together,” just a few meters away from where we once shared our first family exhibition, Art Shaman at Mutiara Gallery.
We miss you, Pa. And we hope you allow us to process it this way too, among the many ways we continue to carry you.
Al-Fatihah 🤍
Thank you
@heal_lang2025 team for the passionate commitment in supporting my brother's vision. And thank you
@maisaarazaen my wife for being my pillar. Au' revoir.
![[Archived work]What's LeftAcrylic on Wood Assemblage, 43.4" x 45.2" (ish), 2024What does it look like when a memory slowly lets go?This was one of the biggest works I’ve ever made. It was created around the quiet erosion of memory in an Alzheimer’s patient. The holes and cavities carved into the wood reflects that slow fade, while the bright colours hold on to the parts that still glow. The overlapping layers speak to how memories collide, blur, and rearrange time and space from within.It’s a tribute to my mother’s perseverance living with dementia (coming in for more than a decade) fragile, complex, but still vivid in its own way. Sold during Matamorph duo show with @hao.are.u at the memorable @greydeastudio, and honestly, probably a scale I may never attempt again. Some works take everything out of you, and leave something behind too.](https://sp1.picnob.com/p/pt_6742673964326463475720_0_16693b79b6fcaaa2486936976e3c49f8.jpg?o=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&h=11243f408983261df5558df3da9ba27b)
![[Archived work]Allure & PerilCeramic, 21cm × 18cm (ish), 2024Throwback to this ceramic collaboration with @hannahhhbhatt for The Gift of Light art show/auction My first time painting on with ceramic and a real lesson in letting the material lead (funny enough my beloved late dad used to teach pottery but I regret never learning it from him). Seeing the glaze in person taught me what I’d do differently next time, but I’m grateful for how it turned out and even more for being part of a charity show supporting light infrastructure for Orang Asli villages in Sabah.](https://sp1.picnob.com/p/pt_6766663829656338661559_0_a8acea1d035b7cff2f3b3b72cdab6247.jpg?o=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&h=6761361ecb1f71b049d4476510c876b3)
