Ryan McCardle

Ryan’s obituary is published now - the link is saved in his bio. These are images from treatment and the travels required for his surgery at the brain stem, cervical spine fusion, total of 18 weeks of radiation spread over the five years, 17 months of immunotherapy, 11 months of a stage I clinical trial, 3 infusions of a third chemo, and his two scans that took place just last month with the expectation of resuming chemo - we’d worked hard to achieve this. That chemo appointment would have been yesterday. Ryan also suffered the paralysis of his left vocal cord and left side of the tongue, had a feeding tube for 20 months which included 9 months straight without food or water by mouth, loss of use of his upper arms for several months, a small brain hemorrhage, a chest tube I drained daily since June as heart failure progressed, and endured intermittent pain that signified tumor growth as well as changes to his hair, skin, and nails on treatment that at times were severe. I will always wish, as I’m sure many reading this do, that I had done more for him in our nonstop pursuit of treating a cancer that can’t be cured. November 30th would have been the five year anniversary of his diagnosis. I’d still like to plan something for that day to acknowledge it. We will also be planning a celebration of Ryan’s life in Virginia and I’ll need the help of his local friends there. There’s plans of compiling his recordings, there are wonderful write ups about him with more coming, a potential show in his memory, and I’ve saved all your stories shared to his account. Please keep sharing about Ryan. A handful of friends wanted to create a gofundme, and family and I were resistant to this. However, I am learning that I’ll have a number of legal fees involved moving forward and this is a lot to take on myself as a young widow. What you have all raised has also covered the costs of Ryan’s cremation and a beautiful urn, and he is now home at the farm. Now I’ll begin fulfilling outstanding furhoof orders. After that I’d like to send ‘care packages’ (as he called them) of his vast collections to those wanting an artifact of Ryan. Please reach out if that’s you! RYAN FOREVER

(1/2) What would have been our three week wedding anniversary today marks three days since Ryan died of heart failure, about two weeks short of five years since his diagnosis. He had been doing well since his hospitalization in August and September, even scheduled to resume chemo next week which we’d worked so hard to achieve. On Monday morning he felt unwell but had perked up by that evening. On Tuesday he felt unwell again, and felt exhausted by evening. I helped him into bed and our cat Turtle eagerly curled up against his left arm - the two best friends. I pulled the blankets over them both. I left a kitchen light on so I’d be able to see his face throughout the night. I woke him a few times when his breathing sounded shallow and asked him to cough and readjust his position to better open his airway. It worked, his oxygen saturation would improve. I told him we’d call the cardiologist in the morning and he could go back to sleep now. In a quiet, muddled voice he said he was “sorry for everything” and that he just wanted to live his life and laid his arm on top of mine. I took this apology to mean he was sorry I was up every hour checking on him. Now I wonder if this meant something greater, that he could feel a change in his body. I would have told him to never be sorry for anything in his life, ever. We peacefully fell back asleep together. At 4:22 I woke up again to see foam flowing out of his mouth - the fluid building up in his body, as heart failure causes, had finally become unsurvivable. I yelled his name and shook him and opened his hazel eyes while wiping the foam away, but more kept coming. Soon paramedics pulled him to the floor and began CPR, but it was clear to me then he wouldn’t be revived. Hours later at the hospital we shepherded his body as far as we could, and yesterday his cremation was complete. (Second half in comments)

Not much updating in post or story form the past few months from me. It’s been a lot to handle & to wrap our heads around tbh. June 3: we were all set to start my next ongoing treatment plan, a chemo infusion called Pemetrexed. I even got my pic (slide 2) for my next series of treatment photos. However, while checking my vitals they found that my oxygen levels were quite low. I had been mentioning a “shortness of breath” & “swelling in my limbs” for awhile now but this seemed the time they now wanted to send me to the cancer center’s urgent care in NYC to get it checked on. June 4: after no sleep, no food, but plenty of tank oxygen (slide 1) we finally got word that I was to have my right pleural cavity drained—almost 2 liters of fluid in fact, with some left behind, from my lung. Edema (swelling) never addressed. June 24: let’s try this again, 3 weeks later, got my treatment pic (slide 4), chemo 2 will be different… nope, same as the 1st (slide 3) except this time my levels were so low they couldn’t let us go on our own back to NYC, I had to be taken by ambulance (slide 5). June 25: another overnight in the cancer center’s urgent care with no sleep, no food, but this time instead of just draining me of almost 1.5 liters, they also placed a “permanent” drain called a PleurX (slide 6) in my right pleural cavity. However, in doing so, they collapsed my right lung… so they suctioned it back out but in doing so accidentally drained too much additional fluid (almost another 1 liter) so they monitor me even more… Edema still not addressed. 3 Weeks Later: Jenny is now a certified daily “lung juicer” (slide 7 & in-process WARNING: slide 8) & has been doing wonders keeping me sane. I have an at-home nurse, PT & OT who all try to come out twice a week to deal with me. I now also have “at-home” oxygen for times I need it—mainly activity outside the house or when I overexert but even though I’m a ways off, regular drainage & strength exercises should help. Edema is still very much prevalent (think Stay Puft Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters) but we’re trying a variety of techniques & remedies. #Chordoma #CancerAwareness #AdventureTimeWithMcCardle *Updates in Stories*

Day 5 (and final day) of IGRT Radiation. 05.31.2024 —-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—- Day 5/5 Radiation: Round 5 #Chordoma Treatment Music Choice During Rad: Real Estate (@realestateband ) #AdventureTimeWithMcCardle #CancerAwareness

Day 4 of IGRT Radiation. 05.30.2024 —-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—- Day 4/5 Radiation: Round 5 #Chordoma Treatment Music Choice During Rad: Beach Fossils (@beachfossilsnyc ) (cc: @bayonetrecords ) #AdventureTimeWithMcCardle #CancerAwareness

Day 3 of IGRT Radiation. 05.29.2024 —-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—- Day 3/5 Radiation: Round 5 #Chordoma Treatment Music Choice During Rad: Iron & Wine #AdventureTimeWithMcCardle #CancerAwareness

Day 2 of IGRT Radiation. 05.28.2024 —-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—- Day 2/5 Radiation: Round 5 #Chordoma Treatment Music Choice During Rad: American Football (@americfootball ) #AdventureTimeWithMcCardle #CancerAwareness

Almost 2 months exactly after finishing my last (most recent) radiation treatment in Harlem, I’m now having to start my 5th round of radiation to treat new growth of my Chordoma cancer along my spine since being diagnosed at the end of 2019. As you may have guessed, it’s been a hellish few weeks after its discovery… having my ongoing clinical trial cancelled abruptly (coming up on a year) and trying to quickly figure out the next steps in radiation & chemo infusion treatment plans. Well, happy Friday from Bergen County, NJ. Day 1 of IGRT Radiation. 05.24.2024 —-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—- Day 1/5 Radiation: Round 5 #Chordoma Treatment Music Choice During Rad: Adrianne Lenker (@adriannelenker ) #AdventureTimeWithMcCardle #CancerAwareness

Last week I finished what was my 4th round of radiation treatment since 2019 when I began this ongoing [thing/deal/fight] with #Chordoma cancer. And though it was “just” 10 treatments over 2 weeks, it really knocked me off my feet more than I had expected it to. When you finish a treatment, oftentimes you get to ring a bell as a [celebration/send-off/good riddance], but this ceremonial gesture hits different when you’re just hopping from treatment to treatment. So I thought I’d share some details of this ongoing [whatever you want to call it]: - 2 surgeries, 2019 - 8 week proton radiation 1, 2020 - 8 week IMRT radiation 2, 2020-21 - 3 days radiation 3, 2021 - 17 months immunotherapy clinical trial 1, 2021-23 - Current infusion/drug clinical trial 2, 2023-? - 10 days proton radiation 4, 2024 So anyway, I’m back home and slowly getting back to work before once again having to go to NYC every other week for treatment. This ongoing [thing] takes a lot out of both myself and my partner Jenny. It’s tiring — physically, mentally, financially… you name it. But to end on a positive note, my current major tumor area (SVC) that has been plaguing me for a few years — which was first thought to be a blood clot, thus getting over-prescribed on blood thinner, thus causing a stroke/brain bleed, before realizing its possibly the first instance of Chordoma spreading to the vascular system — was directly treated with the proton beam radiation. So that’s a plus… fingers crossed it worked. Thanks again to everyone for their kind words and assistance throughout. #AdventureTimeWithMcCardle #CancerAwareness

That’s it! Day 10, the final day of Proton Beam Radiation. Fingers crossed, no more scorchin’ for a minute. 03.20.2024 —-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—- Day 10/10 Radiation: Round 4 #Chordoma Treatment Music Choice During Rad: Sunglow (@sung.low ) #AdventureTimeWithMcCardle #CancerAwareness

Weird fishes at the edge of the earth in the bottom of the sea on day 9 of Proton Beam Radiation. 03.19.2024 —-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—- Day 9/10 Radiation: Round 4 #Chordoma Treatment Music Choice During Rad: @radiohead #AdventureTimeWithMcCardle #CancerAwareness

In the stillness of day 8 of Proton Beam Radiation. 03.18.2024 —-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—- Day 8/10 Radiation: Round 4 #Chordoma Treatment Music Choice During Rad: Fleetwood Mac #AdventureTimeWithMcCardle #CancerAwareness