(CW: blood on carousel 8, close-up of stitches on carousel 13)
October/November dump. 🍂
Cumulatively, this has been one of the most difficult seasons of my life in a hot minute.
✔️ ended a nearly four years-long relationship
✔️ moved into a temporary sublet in the middle of tech for Frozen
✔️ Frozen in general
✔️ had a horrific accident, resulting in a severed tendon in my finger
✔️ had surgery on aforementioned tendon
✔️ called out of ten shows, missing my own opening
Amidst everything there is even more going on that I have to keep private for now, but suffice it to say it’s been too much for my body and brain to handle. I’ve been doing my absolute best to remain positive and be gentle with myself throughout every obstacle that’s been hurled at me, but it’s a conscious effort and sometimes I slip.
Every ounce of energy I have is reserved for healing and reintegrating back into the show. The process is slow and incremental. As I get stronger we rehearse once a week to tech another portion of my track, increasing in difficulty each week. It’s frustrating to know I only get a handful of shows in my full track before we close. I can’t help but feel a bit robbed of the experience I was supposed to have on this contract.
HOWEVER.
Despite everything, I know this wasn’t my fault. I didn’t ask for this. And I am doing my best with what I’ve been dealt. I have received nothing but support, generosity, and kindness from everyone around me - the Frozen team, friends, my parents - I would not have survived without them carrying me up this mountain. I am so, so thankful for my health, my ability to heal, the fact I can still perform in the show AT ALL, and everyone who’s made me snort-laugh through this hell.
PLEASE come see Frozen
@theartsclub ! We worked the hardest we’ve ever worked to bring you theatre magic (literal blood, sweat and tears). I hope you can come experience it.🩵❄️
Costume design for Frozen:
@alaiahamer
PS. Thank you to everyone who sent words of encouragement and healing this past month. It was overwhelming and I didn’t respond to all of them, but know I read every single one and cried a lot.
PPS. How the hell is it already December???
