Dear friends and collaborators,
This is not a cry for help, this is a confession.
It's also an attempt to de-stigmatise what should be normal health issues.
I wouldn't hide it from you if I had a broken knee or a broken arm and needed an operation or a long recovery period.
Basically, for the past year I have been struggling with serious mental health issues. I tried to escape them by over-investing obsessively in my work as a camera operator and keeping myself busy all the time.
Last June, after I finished a shoot and had some down-time to myself, alone, everything I'd been avoiding caught up with me.
I spiralled and fell down a horrible rabbit hole.
Thankfully, I had just enough common sense left in me to head to an emergency psychiatric facility and get proper help. They kept me for a week.
In short, my mind's ability to deal and process multiple personal losses in a very short time reached its limit.
It's only expected that I not to be "ok" at this point.
I'm lucky to have a close support network and access to proper health care. I've already started to see some improvements. The road is still long and it will take time to get back to "normal" (if there is such a thing).
Meanwhile, I've taken a break from camera operating and Steadicam as I see no point in showing up on a set if I'm unable to perform at my best.
I'll be back when the time is right.
If we meet and I seem a bit "off", please know it is not personal.
There are times when my mental state and/or medication makes it hard for me to communicate normally with others.
There are also times when normal tasks, like answering a call/message or just getting out of bed, feel like a huge challenge.
If you are also going through mental health issues, I hope this post helps de-stigmatise it.
P.S: This is my last on-set picture.
It was taken 3 weeks before I collapsed and I was already in a very dark place.
Goes to show you can never really tell what someone is going through.
Ahmed El Lozy
Steadicam sequence from "Blanche"
Short feature
Written and directed by: Joanne Rakotoarisoa @imnotjoanne
Producer: Claire-Issa Diallo @foutanienne
Starring: Louna Robin @louna_rbn , Loïcia Dannenhoffer , Marie Schoenbock @m.schoenbock_ , Lucie Laurent
Director of Photography: Plume Fabre @plumefabre
1st AC: Anthony Poulain @anthopln
2nd AC: Aurlien Ridoux @aurelienridoux
Key Grip: Julien Lofron @julienlof
Grip: Aristote Phamba @aristote_phamba
Shot on Arri Alexa Mini LF with Zeiss Supreme Prime Lenses.
Camera Equipment provided by Panavasion Alga (Paris).
Operated using Artemis Cine HD kit rented from Solène Doerflinger (Strasbourg)
Produced by @ledetourfilms .
All Rights Reserved, 2024
Cc: @arrifrance@arri@zeisscameralenses@zeisscinematography
#Steadicamlife #steadicam #steadicamoperator #stead #filmmaking #arrialexaminilf #alexaminilf #zeiss #zeisssupremeprime #zeisssupremeprimes #zeisssupremeprimelenses
Finally received my bubble level bracket from @oz_color.fr .
Fits neatly onto my GPI Pro Paddock II sled.
Thank you @esteperrin and @luxtagram
#steadicam #steadicamlife #steadicamoperator
Interviewed by @eleaclair during the shooting of "Her Song" last summer :)
"Her Song"
Feature film.
Written and directed by: John M. Keller
Starring: @eleaclair , @kalkikanmani
Produced by: @sixandmidnight and Sunhour Films
#Steadicamlife #steadicam #steadicamoperator #filmmaking
Behind-the-scenes of "Her Song",
shot in July and August 2024
Feature film.
Written and directed by: John M. Keller
Starring: @eleaclair , @kalkikanmani
Produced by: @sixandmidnight and Sunhour Films
Director of photography: @thomas_walser_dop_z , @wilkuhn
1st AC: @emmanuellegary
2nd AC: Aliénor Taupier
Special thanks to @romaintoons for keeping me safe while operating.
Shot on Arri Alexa Mini LF w/ Zeiss Supreme Prime Lenses.
Camera package from @buffaloc_
I operated using a Steadicam Ultra Vest, GPI Pro Atlas arm, and GPI Pro Paddock II sled fitted with a Betz Tools top stage, Transvideo 6" monitor, and PAG batteries.
These behind-the-scenes photos are courtesy of Pauline Munoz and Eric Gruendemann
cc: @arrifrance@arri@zeisscinematography@zeisscameralenses@gpiprosystems@transvideo
#arri #arrialexa #arrialexaminilf #alexaminilf #zeiss #zeisslens
#zeisscameralenses #zeisssupremeprime
#fullframe #betztools #gpipro #gpiproarm #transvideo #Steadicamlife #steadicam #steadicamoperator #filmmaking #behindthescenes #bts
Sony FX9 w/Sony FE 16-35 mm F2.8 G-Master zoom lens.
Powered with Bebob V200 batteries, fitted with Arri MMB-2, Vocas leather handgrip, and Teradek bolt 4k on a Sachtler Video 18 tripod.
Equipment provided by A Prima Vista in Berlin.
#filmmaking #Sonycine #sonyfx9 #sonyfx9camera
#sonycinema #sonyfx9
@sonyprofilmmaking@sonycine@sony
