P11 in the W pro field, 6 days, 218ish miles, 35kft or so climbing, 10 miles no saddle, 11 miles with a tire saddle, 3 flats, 1 sprained ankle, road rash, 1 man named Joe pulling me out of the top of a tree after falling off the side of a mountain (idk how else to describe it b/c thatās what happened). Endless steep AF climbs, equally endless, rowdy, rugged, and lightning fast descents. Andā¦hiking. Wild.
So many things went wrong
@breckepic . So many things went right. A test of mental, physical strength, and preparation. Even more so a test of using the resources around you and embracing the suck. The fitness and mental fortitude (via
@kurt_perham ) to finish all 6 days with shot legs from standing for 21 miles. The aid team working with me to make a seat. The OTHER racers who were willing to stop and help with my flats. NOBODY finishes tough things alone.
I got exactly what I needed from Breck. Year after year, the accumulation of flare-ups from multiple forms of tick-borne disease has caused irreversible neuromuscular damage. My symptoms are very meningeal in nature. Itās made life unpredictable and at times unbearable. I have been overly philosophical about the purpose of sport since I was 22, knowing at any moment none of this is guaranteed. There is no ācomeback.ā I exist in the space between incredibly competitive and knowing itās all just a game. All we REALLY have in life are our bodies and community. Treat them well.
Sport has been the mode that helps me remember to cherish & nourish these things. To find a way to keep trying, in all avenues of life, simply because trying is living. Sport also isnāt everything to me, it canāt be. Long races arenāt my thing, and I wanted to race Breck to remind myself of this bigger picture.
There were moments on that course that felt truly horrifying, where I traded āwoooosā
and āoh Sh*tsā seconds after each other, moments my lungs thought theyād explode, and moments of awe. This was real backcountry mountain biking, & Iām so proud of that belt buckle.
Time for CX.
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