I didnāt really know what I needed when we went down to Wyrd.
Weād already spoken to most of the speakers through the podcast, so I thought I knew what it was going to be. Conversations, good work, the usual workshop vibes!
It wasnāt that.
The talks were solid, but it was everything around them that stayed with me. The smaller conversations. The ones where people drop the surface level stuff for a minute.
One of those caught me off guard a bit. Thank you
@susieolzenphotography . It was nothing dramatic, just enough to realise Iād been carrying more than I thought.
Not ignoring it. Just⦠getting on with things.
Family, work, being needed in a lot of places at once. It builds quietly.
And it does bleed into the work.
At some point, Iād stopped enjoying the process, not fully but enough. I was still creating, still delivering, but it felt tighter. More controlled. Like I was trying not to get it wrong instead of actually being in it. (Does that make sense?)
During one of the portrait sessions, I picked up a film camera
@luke_makesphotos let me borrow. I had a roll sitting in the car anyway.
Most of what came back is soft. A few frames missed focus completely.
I donāt mind though!
Because for a moment, I wasnāt thinking about outcomes. I was just there, making something again and connecting!
@edgodden said something after that session that stuck. That we forget what it feels like to be the one in front of the camera. How exposed it can be.
That landed.
Because thatās the space we ask people to step into. Thereās a lot of trust in that, whether we say it out loud or not.
I donāt think I came away with answers.
Just a clearer sense that Iāve got some things to work through. And that if I want the work to feel honest again, I probably need to start there.
Stay feral. š¤