“Irascible, informative.”
Thank you to Rebecca Mead for this description of ‘Motherdom’ in an excellent @newyorkermag piece ‘What Makes a Good Mother?’
I wrote ‘Motherdom’ because I want to debunk Good Mother myths, past and present. It absolutely is an angry book because these myths are so toxic, personally and politically. And an informative read – I hope – because I dismantle the shaky science and bogus appeals to nature which underpin these myths.
I’m looking forward to reading the other three books discussed in ‘What Makes a Good Mother?’
‘A Woman’s Work’ by @elinorcleghorn was already on my reading list because I loved ‘Unwell Women’. I’ve now added ‘One Bad Mother’ by @ejdickson and ‘Life After Ambition’ by @amilniazi to the list.
@versobooks
I’m delighted that my book has been reviewed by Becca Rothfeld in the @washingtonpost . I’m honoured (honored?!) to be in the company of the brilliant @nancy.o.reddyand@hzea .
Our books share much common ground – taking on the pseudoscience and cultural assumptions afflicting mothers – but also cover distinct territory. Nancy’s book ‘The Good Mother Myth: Unlearning Our Bad Ideas About How to be a Good Mom’ deftly combines intellectual history with her experiences of new motherhood (and her writing is exquisite – a masterclass in non-fiction). Hannah’s ‘Mother Media: Hot and Cool Parenting in the Twentieth Century’ unpicks the relationship between motherhood and technology, and how the pathologies of mothering became attached to the pathologies of media.
My book ‘Motherdom’ explains how mothers today are set up to fail when it comes to birth, breastfeeding and child development (whatever we do it is never enough…..).
Motherhood has always been political – I will be talking about this with Helen Charman, author of ‘Mother State: A Political History of Motherhood’, at @housmans_books on Wednesday 21 May.
But, as Rothfeld’s piece highlights, falling birth rates across the globe are reshaping the parameters of debate. Instead of glorifying rigid gender roles, our focus must be on making things better for parents and children.
What needs to happen? Here’s my starting list – what’s on yours?
Better healthcare, affordable housing, secure, flexible and well-paid work, universal childcare, public spaces for families to enjoy, enough food (why are kids going to bed hungry in rich countries like the US and UK?!) and clean air.
@versobooks
We already had Mother’s Day in the UK in March but this weekend it’s Mother’s Day in many other countries. It can be a painful time for anyone who has lost their mother, is navigating estrangement or struggling with fertility or pregnancy loss.
At the Matricentric Feminist conference earlier this year, the amazing Sarah Caré @o.is.for.orange created an illustration for every single talk. What a feat.
Here’s what Sarah drew for my talk. I am posting it as a riposte to the sentimental celebration of mothers on one day of the year.
We need to dismantle the Good Mother myths which blame and shame women and are used to excuse a lack of support for families. Motherdom is a more generous and expansive vision of motherhood, where families – whatever shape they may take – have the resources they need to flourish. We are so far off that now.
I’m very happy to be doing an event for ‘Motherdom’ at my dear friend @susieemoss ’s place @rafikiscafe in Devon.
We’ve known each other since school and I am so proud that she has created an amazing veggie café-bar-restaurant around the idea of ‘recipes from travels around the world.’
That really resonates with my book’s challenge to the myth that there is one universal model of ‘good’ motherhood. We need to recognise and value the many different ways women care for children. There are countless recipes for mothering.
So looking forward to this one. Come join us if you’re nearby.
It was great to explore with the wonderful Molly Dickens from @maternalstressproject how Good Mother myths intensify the stressors of motherhood.
We’re doing a Substack Live on May 7th at 9am PT/12pm ET/5pm GMT. Link in my bio.
We’ll be discussing how Good Mother myths cast a shadow over the earliest days of motherhood and set a trajectory that needs to be broken.
Very pleased to be doing this event with @newmumswriting : WHAT GOOD MOTHER MYTHS COST US - AND WAYS WE CAN RESIST THEM. It will be on Zoom, 21st April 12pm - 2pm BST.
We’ll be exploring how Good Mother myths harm us and how we might form our own messy narratives of motherhood.
Booking is via Eventbrite (£0 - £10 - please pay it forward if you can). Link in my bio.
#maternalmentalhealth #writing #matrescence #goodmothermyths
Very excited to be taking part in the Matricentric Feminism conference which is starting today. There are so many excellent talks on the conference programme from a brilliant community of writers, academics, clinicians and activists.
I’m particularly looking forward to hearing @drboyd talk about maternal anger and the keynote from
@lucyfjones who has shone so much light onto #matrescence.
My presentation ‘Motherdom: Rejecting Good Mother myths, reimagining motherhood’ is about how we can resist the personal and political harms of Good Mother myths.
#matricentricfeminism
#motherhoodstudies
#Motherdom
#Goodmothermyths
Mother’s Day, ug. It’s a difficult day for so many of us who have lost our mothers or have complicated relationships with them.
And as a mother, it feels tokenistic and superficial. I don’t want to be patted on the back. I want society to stop failing mothers, as I discussed with Paula Escobar Chavarría in an interview for La Tercera.
Having said all of that, I do love the Mother’s Day card my daughter made me, including her cartoon of mothermaxing and mothermogging (hope it goes without saying that her tongue is firmly in her cheek).
My former employer @ipsos_in_the_uk , together with @giwlkings , have released their annual International Women’s Day survey.
The findings continue to be depressing – young men remain more likely than older generations to have rigid and repressive views on gender. I’ve picked out some of the most striking findings.
The usual caveats apply. This is attitudinal not behavioural data (so what if someone defines themselves as a feminist?). Cultural differences in response styles (such as a higher or lower propensity to agree) limit cross-country comparisons.
Nevertheless, this is a powerful reminder of the generational backlash against gender equality and how far we still have to go.
The one bright spot is that both young women and young men are more likely than their older counterparts to identify as feminists.
The full report is well worth a read – you can find it on Ipsos’ and KCL’s websites.
#IWD #feminism #genderequality
Visiting ‘Designing Motherhood: Things That Make and Break Our Births’ at @madmuseum was the highlight of my recent trip to New York.
Thank you so much to its wonderful curator @efkoehn who took me and @chrisromerlee around (and a big thank you to @designingmotherhood curator @michellemillarfisher for the intro).
I hope that this powerful exhibition, which explores how design shapes our experiences around reproduction, makes it to the UK (@designmuseum ?)
Some of my favourite pieces:
Photo 1
Two photographs by JEB (Joan E. Biren):
Darquita and Her Mother, Denyeta (1979)
Mobilize for Women’s Lives, A Pro-Choice March and Rally in Washington, DC (1989)
Deborah Willis’ lithograph ‘I Made Space for a Good Man’ (2009) is her riposte to being told in 1975 by a male professor when she was pregnant with her son, the artist Hank Willis Thomas: “You took the space from a good man.”
Photo 2
A 2018 NYT piece on mortality rates for black mothers and babies with photography by LaToya Ruby Frazier
A 1992 poster: Freedom of Choice: 50 Ways to Save Our Right to Choose
Photo 3
The Predictor pregnancy test (1967)
It was fascinating to learn that the first home pregnancy test was designed by a woman, Margaret Crane. Here’s her prototype.
Photo 4
Grantly Dick-Read
I researched him when writing ‘Motherdom’, but didn’t realise he’d made a record about ‘natural childbirth’! This 1957 image would have felt very dated a few years ago but now has trad wife vibes.
Photo 5
Loved the name of this section of the exhibition: ‘The Baby Gear Industrial Complex’. Here’s a 1930s advert for the Zenith Radio Nurse. I didn’t know the baby monitor was invented so long ago, inspired by the notorious 1932 ‘Lindbergh baby’ kidnapping.
Photo 6
Strollers!
In the middle is the “Umbrella” Baby Stroller (1966), the first ever collapsible pram. The excellent exhibition guide tells the story of how it was invented by an aeronautical designer, Owen Finlay Maclaren. When posh pram manufacturer Silver Cross passed on his design, he formed his own company. I loved the red Maclaren we used for both our kids.
Photo 7
Elizabeth and me! Such a privilege to be taken around the exhibition by her.
