I don’t really like any of these images. I didn’t really want to post them.
Truth is, I am a bit of a perfectionist. Anxiety has stood in my own way for my whole life.
“Don’t show them that, Ryan. It’s not quite right enough, they’ll know you’re a fraud.”
I was really excited about making these photographs and promised myself I would post them for the exercise. When my foot touched the street and my lens touched the world, I knew something wasn’t right.
Sulking, I continued and kept going hoping something, anything other than my current experience would come, but instead a bird shat on me, I got overwhelmed and went home. I was disappointed. And that little voice in my head felt vindicated.
But I made a promise to myself “Get out there and fail, fail embarrassingly, fail horribly, but keep going”. So, here I am failing to my own arbitrary criteria. I am getting better at failing.
That makes me happy.
Photography: @ryanguvs
Illustration: @withindigo_
Dear Indigo,
I just wanted to say thanks for sticking around, even when things got tough. I know I doubted myself, but somehow, we made it through. I’m proud of what we’ve achieved so far, and I’m grateful for the strength to keep going.
You know, it’s been a wild ride, but we’ve learned to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and keep moving forward. And honestly, it’s okay to stumble sometimes, it’s all part of the journey.
Thanks for believing in yourself, even when it felt like nobody else did. Keep pushing forward, and remember that you’re capable of more than you think.
I love you <3333
