Itās not hard itās necessary š Itās necessary to redefine what balance means. Does balance mean since you worked a hard week you now get to indulge in poisoning vices? Do you balance effort with sloth? Or reward yourself with bioengineered foods after meal prepping for a month? Youāre a step closer to the best you any reality has seen after you realize that discipline & pleasure can become the same thingš¦
āPossibility is far more frightening than impossibilityā šJulia Cameron
Ever notice that you prefer being addicted to recovering over actually staying recovered? Thereās something about that loop of being impressed with your own progress, then self sabotaging, and since youāve now sabotaged, you get to feel good about making progress again. And the only time real change happens is when life gets terrible. You damn near have to grow disgusted with yourself and your situation for reform to even begin. This urge to repeat such a cycle could have been passed down through epigenetics or written into you by your own trauma. Hard to tell what truly causes it but we can identify this notorious cycle: The world calls it The Region-Beta Paradox and The Numb Comfort Paradox(self coined). 1 is the tendency to remain in a state of mild discomfort and only jump into action when things get super uncomfortable or downright painful. The other shows up in chronically difficult relationships where youāll stay because the discomfort has become familiar and stimulating, and that discomfort gets mistaken for aliveness or even love
How wild is that š
Iāve been around filmmaking since high school. Thatās also when I met my Aunty Julie Dressner. Back in 2014 we were working on a film that ended up taking us around the world. Since then weāve shared a lot of life together. Sheās seen me broken, & sheās seen me on top of the world. Julie has been there for the moments that mattered. So 12 years later I couldnāt miss the premiere of her newest documentary, @myndafilm !
The film shows the dark side of NDAs by looking at how they are used by corporations, political figures, & celebrities as a tool to hide their crimes & silence the innocent. Many think NDAs exist to protect IP or trade secrets but they have been doing so much more than that. Which is why we need more people who are committed to understanding and then improving the world around us. That takes crazy levels of bravery & Jewls is a powerful force that keeps shedding light on the dark. Iām deeply proud to have witnessed another chapter of her work come to life.
For those who donāt know, SXSW in Austin is a massive festival where film, music, education, and tech all collide. Being there is a reminder that so many people & organizations are working in their own way to inform, reform, & create something better. Iām always leaving inspired af šāš½š¬
Rage bait for the old heads šā¤ļø
Of course things get harder, but youāre supposed to get better. Applied wisdom can keep up with the decay.
Shining example:
@kadour_ziani_official
First time hearing @laineywilson ās music & her & her band had me grinninā and spinninā the whole night. Sending nothing but love to yāall and the good-hearted fans you bring together šāš½
This past LBA tour was history in the making, and Iām grateful I got to be a part of it. 9 cities where voices were heard and healing through movement brought people together in ways I canāt fully explain. I just know Iāve made family through this work and Iāve seen how faith can make you limitlessš
As the tour concludes, itās wild thinking about where I started. My past was met by a storm of instability & challenges that nearly swallowed me whole, but blessings kept fallin in my lap. The opportunities, the love, the trust, & the understanding all made it hard not to have pronoia. There are many days I drop to my knees overwhelmed with gratitude. Iām grateful for the pain, the lessons, the joy, the challenges, the stress, & the disruption. Iāve found that every time a tear falls, it waters your next steps forward. So now, as I look back, I can finally say I appreciate the rainš«
Iām so proud of everyone out there contributing to meliorism. If there is one thing we can change, itās the amount of love & light we send out to ourselves & to one anotheršāš½
Iām grieving a version of me that kept me alive. That version wasnāt the dream, but he was the soldier. The version of me who moved through chaos with resilience, made poor choices but still carried vision. He had bad habits and buried trauma, but he got me here. Now Iām letting go of what used to ground me: video games, distractions, comfort. Iām drawn to harder, richer things like music, movement, and meaning. But this shift is painful, because my body still remembers both lives. And what Iām learning is that the old self and the new self canāt coexistā¦ one will always starve while the other tries to thrive.
- Pray for me -
