on this episode of panita should just get substack but she’s too lazy:
today, i’m thinking of my grandfather (and my family in general). my family is thai-chinese. when i moved to france there were a lot of cultural celebrations that we kind of stopped doing — because there was nobody to do them with, because we didn’t want to trek to chinatown on the other side of Paris, because we were too busy trying to assimilate.
my mom and brother moved back to thailand a decade ago, but true to the classic water monkey elder daughter i am, i had moved even further away to chase my dreams. REALLY far away from ~the motherland~ now, and at certain times “stuck” not being able to go back (like when my grandfather passed) because *immigrant life*, i find it quite hard to reconnect with my culture. as i get older, i often feel homesick for a place and for traditions that i barely know, and a lot of times embarrassed for feeling that way — like i didn’t deserve to celebrate these things, because i rarely ever did.
but then on days like today, i remember how my mom explains the benefits of birds nest so passionately to literally everyone who would listen (because she runs a brand based on bird’s nest / TCM), and how when i was a kid, i would try to imitate my grandfather’s crazy moves as he did his tai chi every morning (without fail), and i feel just a little more of a sense of belonging, and a little closer to my roots, even when they feel painfully far.
HOPE YOU GET RICH ♥️