learning to let people show up
i didnāt plan to celebrate.
almost cancelled.
rushed my make-up like i was late to my own life,
no appetite,
just that familiar weight in my chest.
i told myself i didnāt have the energy
but i knew not going
would hurt more than going.
so i put on a fit
that said iām fine
even when i wasnāt.
sometimes dressing against the feeling
is the only way i move through it.
asking people to show up for me
felt unnatural.
not because i donāt want to be seen
i want my work to have my name on it
but because celebration
is a language iām still learning.
for a long time
my achievements were just a checklist.
tick. move on. survive.
no witnesses.
and today, i felt that old reflex
minimising love
before it could leave.
convincing myself i didnāt need it
so it wouldnāt hurt.
but i went.
and people came.
and even the ones who couldnāt
their love still arrived.
this part matters.
to everyone who showed up in the room, @amanyi.tenecia , @am4ka , @x.tarna.x
thank you for holding me when i didnāt know how.
to those who wanted to come
but couldnāt make it
i felt you anyway.
@yaeeshx@officialbenking
for those who know i love em & didnāt get an invite my bad.
and to Ben-King, @officialbenking
thank you for igniting this.
for planting the idea,
for believing before i did.
this wouldnāt have happened without you,
and that matters more than you know.
something in me shifted.
something old softened.
Turned my goals into reality last year now itās time for round 2!
2025 is all about levelling up with growth, creativity, and saying fuck fear while embodying the Human Star vision. Nobody can stop this shine (not even my monster next door)
photographer: @lukepremdas
belt @humanstar.clo
monsters next door concept @mndstudios
