days of wine of roses with @jlopez.keys
once again i'm enjoying messing with melodic and timing choices :3
sometimes i find myself landing on like, a note between notes. not sure if i wanna refine that or if i want to think more rigidly in twelve-tone. maybe it could be cool to land microtonally at some points, but it's never really something i've paid attention to before. do you ever think microtonally on purpose over like jazz standards?
moonlight in vermont with @jlopez.keys
i feel happy about this clip. like. i feel i'm leaning into a more relaxed delivery, not straining my face or neck, and being loose with both note choice and the timing of the melody. it affirms my recent philosophy that the less i push the more natural something sounds.
i'm getting into my standards bag again fr. lemme know what tunes you'd like to hear me sing <3
this trans day of visibility, as i leave the land of my ancestors, i implore you to consider the current state of gender diverse peoples worldwide. too many of us around the globe have been forced and legislated into the shadows directly at the hands of the same western imperialism that has turned around and propped us up as a token of their "progress" and an excuse to continue their dastardly colonial ways. i dream of a day in which all non-western peoples realize that their efforts to westernize have only forsaken and harmed their own peoples, and i dream of a day where indigenous folks worldwide can join hands to push back and rebuild towards a post-western society
first things first, we should've applied earlier lmao. also tho, if you're an american born child of a chinese immigrant getting your visa is gonna be hella more difficult for you fr... hmu if you want the scoop. shoutouts tho to the lady at the consulate office who did everything in her power to try and help us out... in the end we got approved one day too late... and so we pivot :) we boutta head to hong kong, then thailand! then we'll still head to china to see family for our next portion of the trip. also.. we're bringing our instruments >:)
please send recs for places to visit <3 pinching myself fr. can't wait to finally see my homeland with my own eyes for the first time in over 15 years... ahhh!!!! here we goooooo :o
happy lunar new year y'all!!
honestly, i been struggling π for like. a while. i've been keeping it mostly to myself out of shame but like. fuck it. i wanna be honest with y'all. even if the truth is ugly.
this past year or so has been one of the hardest of my life :c my first caption was like 5 times the length so here's a sparknotes lol
1. almost exactly one year ago, one of my most cherished and loving partners i've ever had was going thru a super difficult time. when her mental was at its worst, i tried pretty much everything i could to help her out of the funk. at one point tho, things got so bad that she slapped me, and upon realizing what she did, she tried to end things. out of stubbornness i pushed for us to stay together... but the next time she reached that dark mental space, we got into a heated argument, and by the time i wanted to deescalate it was too late. she snapped, physically assaulted me, punched and bit me, broke hella shit, and scared tf out of my roommate. after i ended things, the same partner dragged my reputation harder than i ever could have imagined :/
2. early last year i hoped to house and rehabilitate one of my best friends and spiritual mentors early last year. she was going through a lot and i desperately wanted to help. unfortunately, i overextended myself/was overconfident in my ability... in the end the demons she carried proved to be too strong. things only got worse and i ended things last april when they began to threaten my life :/
3. last may, due to everything, as well as grinding harder than i ever had before, i had an intense panic attack that i attempted to solve with whippets and ketamine. this ended up with me freeze burning my right hand so badly as to incur damn near third degree burns and nerve damage that is still healing. my income fell greatly and finances have been stressful :/
when i look back it's so clear to me that i had to learn some lessons the hard way. all the people pleasing, trying to see the best in people by ignoring red flags, continued efforts to fill the hole within externally,
maddie liu is not okay. but she's on the path fr. and i'm grateful for every step and stumble along the way π€
