Like most thirty-somethings, the will-I-won’t-I question of motherhood rattles around my head most days. A friend once described the “co-mumdrum” as it’s been clunkily dubbed, as a feeling that’s “not always at the forefront of my mind, but it’s always there”. I’ve spent a lot of time at Marie Claire trying to wrestle my own uncertainty into words — a few of those are in the slides here — but I’ve ultimately come away wondering if the decision of whether or not have kids is even mine to make. Of course, there’s the biological factor, but there’s also the many economic factors. I had the chance to discuss some of those on this morning’s @BBC Politics Live. An honour to be asked into Westminster (even if I can currently only rewatch these clips on mute).
#kidsorchildfree #motherhood #bbcpoliticslive #childfree #childfreemillennial
I’ve had this week circled in my calendar for a while now, and I’ve spent a lot of time imagining how I might feel when it rolls around. Stuck on boring commutes and the in-between moments that my mind always rushes to fill, I’ve thought about what it might feel like to cross the finish line at the Hackney Half; to write my week 12 reflection of The Artist’s Way after trying — and failing — to finish it so many times before. And I’ve thought about how I’d feel standing in a room full of writers I admire and respect and finally feeling like I’ve “cracked it”, as if being nominated for Best Features Writer will automatically wipe away my well-established imposter syndrome. The week is here, and it’s not at all how I imagined. Of course it’s not. I have a virus that means I might not be able to run @hackneymoves on Sunday and @juliacameronlive ’s book is in the flat I left two weeks ago without realising I wouldn’t be able to go back for a while (long, gross story for another post), and, as always seems to be the way, the culmination of those curveballs — and a few more thrown in for good measure — has sent my imposter syndrome sky rocketing. As I packed an outfit for tonight’s @_bsme awards, I felt that all-too-familiar urge to rain-check instead. The toxic mix of an overactive mind and imposter syndrome is telling me to stay home, that I should never have been nominated in the first place. But I was nominated, and I have this post to prove it, as well as the features that got me here. I don’t have a neat way to close this overshare, and I’m not predicting a win tonight that will give me a cute ‘follow your dreams’ style closer, but as another finish line stretches in front of me this weekend (hopefully!), I’m humbled (and daunted!) remembering that finishing can be just as hard as starting — just don’t tell me that if I make it to mile 13 on Sunday.
#impostersyndrome #femalewriters #bsme
From one Rio to another. To think, this time last week I was flying business to see Shakira perform on Copacabana beach and now I’m living out of a suitcase on Kingsland Road while my flat gets fumigated and I battle a particular ghastly post-plane bug. The retribution for living beyond my means has been SWIFT AND PUNISHING
Back to the losing battle of trying to ✨live✨in✨the✨ moment while simultaneously capturing everything
#shakirashakira #copacabana #todomundonorio #shakirabrasil #riodejaneiro
The year is 2001 and I’ve taken a CD of Whenever Wherever into school to learn the intro on my recorder
#shakira #shakirabrasil #copacabana #todomundonorio #millennialmusic
I had my first (and only!) encounter using AI to play around with my image. It felt very dystopian, and while there is no shortage of more worrying concerns when it comes to AI’s increasing role in our image-making, I do find it quite grim that when Drew prompted Claude to simply add a Dalmatian to a photo of me, what came back was an eerily retouched image amping up the same, conformist beauty ideals: straight white teeth, smoothed-out skin, perfect grooming.
#AI #airetouch #beautystandards #facefilterbeauty #aifilter
If you can’t use being shortlisted for a @_bsme award and a @ppa_live award to hard launch your new headshots, when can you! At a time when it’s hard to feel hopeful about the future of journalism, these nominations - and to see my name alongside writers I truly admire - serve as reminders that people still want original stories (yes, even when they run over a thousand words), and that there’s no shortage of voices to deliver those stories. I still can’t believe I get to write for a living, even if the process feels like wading through honey half the time.
