(sorry for the extremely jarring/polarizing posts…)
small preview of “reasons why my dad hurt me”
tw: childhood abuse
(there is no reason to abusing a child, but here are some ways my dad might have justified it over the years. he’s dead now, and everyone processes this differently.)
this zine/book/coping mechanism will debut for komiket april! limited copies as usual. x
(a long overdue post…)
may 3 i was at @mtnszineclub ’s blue mountains zine fair with lovely @aemyn …. my first time to exhibit was last year and all i received was love + beautiful company that day.
thank you to everyone who dropped by, shared your stories, exchanged witty conversations, and inspired us. i will never stop feeling energized from others. i feel that way with aemyn, too. i would love to come by for the zine club when able. (and you should try, too)
love u bmzf 💙 until next time…
(I hope you get home safely)
@aemyn and I are tabling together at the Blue Mountains Zine Fair on Day 2! Come by to say hi, buy our zines, share your stories, drink tea with us, and just be present. It is an honour to table alongside my friend. Love you Aemyn. Love you zines. Love you @mtnszineclub . And love you @haruhineho for the beautiful art as always 🖼️ #zines 💙💙
ode to seedy love hotels…
thank you to the many friends + connections i’ve made these past few years. i have never felt safer (ironically) than in the arms of people. while there have been people who would previously abuse this trust, to be able to hold someone is an irreplaceable feeling. to fall asleep knowing i am secure with you… i hope to give the same level of intimacy in return.
i’ve got you.
and spice con na naman!
didn’t take a lot of photos and it was my first time at an r18+ event, but i had a lot of fun! nakaiba talaga yung experience lol. thanks for the warm reception for beautiful friends, and i even had fun auctioning a photo of myself 😅😅 baka creator na ako next year chz…. love love!!
komiket, i always go back to you…
while i only tabled for 2/3 days, i enjoyed my time at komiket april! it was nice to see some familiar faces and even make new friends!!
i was gifted a few things as well from fellow creators and artists, an absolute blessing. i’m incredibly lucky to be able to share my work with you all.
love u all so much! kita-kits next time 🥰
It is the first week of April, and I’m preparing myself for (what feels like) two huge events back to back this month here in Manila. I’m compiling my zines and my photobook for spice erocon and I’m thinking if I’m a decent photographer, even if I haven’t quite exercised that muscle lately. I’ve unfortunately been unable to acquire a hard drive that contained quite a lot of my film archives from 2018-2024 and my neurodivergent brain just hasn’t had the chance to sit down and sift through what I *do* have.
A bit of a ramble, but I want to be able to tell myself (and let anyone know who might be going through the same thing) that you’ll have these moments where you doubt your skills, or feel like they aren’t good enough, but you just have to try your best to see these as opportunities to get better.
This self-portrait was taken around 1am after festival of the photocopier, where I was scrambling to take my photo at Flinders St, as a yearly tradition of my interstate visit and to see my growth as a person. The sheer determination to wheel my suitcase to get there with coins in hand made it all worth it in the end. I hope to continue that level of willpower in my work as I did for this damn photobooth.
I’ve been working on rejection and allowing myself to rest as it does take a toll when I overwork myself. I’ve let go of fairs and exhibitions to try to redirect my attention to honing my craft instead if constantly trying to pump out content like a machine.
I’ve yet to really say what is my niche as an artist as I’m still experimenting, but I’ve been enjoying making cyanotypes and photozines. I hope people will accept the book I’ll be making for spice erocon since it will be an r18+ book. I hope people will acknowledge the banig I’ve been making in the province. And I hope people will appreciate the new zines for komiket april. But most of all, I hope to be proud of my work and feel like what I do is enough. While it isn’t my full time job (and honestly I don’t want it to be), this is my passion, and it’s all I want to share with others. So thank you all for that.
Self-portrait, 2026
Dev & Scan: @irohasphoto.sydney
(Very, very late upload) BUT!
Festival of the Photocopier 2026 was worth the trek!
Safe to say my first zine fair of the year (and an interstate one at that) secured ✅
1. me!!!!! (thank u @ramemon_snap for the pic!!!)
2. my haul!!!!!
3. zines i posted around naarm!!!!!
4. me again!!!!!! (scrambled to get to flinders st before my flight with $8 change and a dream)
