Today marks 10 years since
@svanagisla and I saw the release of Lazarus. It followed Blackstar, which dropped in the fall of 2015. It all began when we reached out to him to write the title score to The Last Panthers; a limited series I’d just made. I was certain he was going to turn it down but Svana, who has the balls in our partnership, never swayed. A few days later I was on the phone with him. That piece became the etymology of Blackstar. A few months later, he wanted to play me the finished track, so I went to his office on Lafayette and got my mind blown. A video was needed, but he stated he was ‘preoccupied’, so couldn’t get too involved. I didn’t think much about it. He gave me some drawings to ‘do what thou whilt with’ and told me to run along. As we got into production, he messaged and said he needed to talk. He told me he was very sick as he needed me to understand his periodical absence. At the end of the call, he asked for ideas for a Lazarus video and told me in a matter-of-fact kinda way to start thinking about who could replace him, in the case he wouldn’t last that long. It was the most devastating conversation I’ve ever had. I, obviously, wasn’t close to him, but I was in the presence of his light for the most part of that year and I was one of the few who knew he was ill, so I guess I became that stranger you end up next to in a bar; that you feel free to share thoughts with, as you know it’s transitional. Time went by, and his illness faded from my mind, as he was as vibrant, brilliant, curious, funny, charming as when we first met. The day after Lazarus came out, it was his birthday, so I sent him this antique book I’d found. I didn’t hear back from him, and kinda felt butthurt, as I am as petty as most of us. Then, in the middle of that fateful night of January 10th, I was awakened by a phone call from his decades-long friend/collaborator
@jimmyking3333 , who told me that he had passed... I broke down in tears; from the shame of my puerile pettiness, from the naivety of thinking he was fine, from the loss of this extraordinary tower of a human being. Thank you for a lifetime and a year-of-a-lifetime DB, I will forever be grateful 🖤
