Tomorrow is a nationwide shut down, and while the only little thing I do on Fridays that is business related is write and hold space for two hours in the morning, it’s still how I make my money and my participation in the system. I do not want to not hold that space for the people that I hold it for especially when they need it; I don’t want to miss a day of writing blah, an it’s just my little corner of the world that doesn’t feel like it’s going to make that much of a difference.
Still: the purpose of a strike is to create friction, absence, something that is felt. It is a tiny little sacrifice on my end, but it speaks volumes. And it adds up across all of our tiny to large sacrifices.
It matters what we do right now. It matters if we take part in a nationwide strike; it matters if we stop giving our money to. @spotify@target@ring@homedepot and all these fuckwit evil corporate entities.
Our actions matter our dollars matter our silly little social media posts matter it all matters. People are watching and they are moved to action by our actions.
1. Article (linked in stories)
2. Historian reminding us the a@wrics . Revolution was bloody as shit; that people lost their minds; that the oppressors were violent and street warfare—that is scrappy ass citizens—were the revolution
3. CALL YOUR SENATORS
4. Use the @5calls app to do it—very easy
5. Go to standwithminnesota.com to find a long list of places to donate —help pay for rents if people who haven’t left their home in months, meals for people who will lose everything they have if they go grocery shopping; legal funds;
6. DIVEST: @target@targetstyle fuck target @homedepot@homedepotfoundation@amazon@hilton@delta
7. ORGANIZE: this is the biggest. Local friends we have @ulster_rapid_response and @ulsterimmigrantdefense —THEY NEED HELP. There are trainings and so many ways to support; reach out to UIDN or dm me. Look around your community for similar organizing. It’s there.
8. ^^
9. What she said
10. ^^
11. Go to and help
I wrote this in 2022, when i could not make sense of how the world was moving forward while I could not, and when everything that had mattered—my youth, my career, my success, my belongings, all the externalities—stopped mattering, and I thought I was broken and had to remember it was the world that was. Link in stories.
Excited to share my interview with @holly , author of Quit Like a Woman and host of the Co-Regulation podcast. I have been very inspired by Holly’s critical feminist analysis of how the alcohol industry and the ubiquity of 12-step impact how we perceive drinking and sobriety. I recommend pairing this episode with the Shira Hassan episode, and the bonus interview with Shira that you can find for free at patreon.com/deanspade. Shira is the author of Saving Our Own Lives: A Liberatory Practice of Harm Reduction, and she and I also dug into addiction, sobriety, and 12-step in our conversations.
Comment LIVE for a link to register.
Hi pals! Tonight @ericachidi and I are giving our third live talk. In this format we get together, check in on how we’re doing, and answer your questions. It’s a wild fun time. Last month we talked about PMDD and Pathological Demand Avoidance lol and how we hate journaling and relapse. Fun times were had.
A replay will be available.
Thank you to @urbancowboylodge for being a literal writer’s paradise and a place where I can fully commit to my 2019 LA hipster aesthetic.
But seriously: beds, hotels, coffee shops and restaurants, as well as body doubling and co-working, are the only way I can be a writer with this wiggly body and squirrely energy, and places like this save my life.
This conversation with @cciccone about her new book Nowhere Girl, about her ADHD diagnosis in her forties and after getting sober, was one of the most important conversations I’ve had in a long time.
I got my diagnosis in 2022, 2.5 years after publishing Quit Like a Woman and nearly a decade after getting sober, after a similar experience to what Carla is describing here. For forty plus years I could not understand some of my most terrifying patterns, that I though sobriety had fixed, that sobriety had not and could not fix alone because of this missing piece (and some others, like relational trauma, a chronic fawn response, and perimenopause). It was my ADHD diagnosis that made me make sense, my life make sense, and it’s been such a rewarding exploration.
In this episode Carla and I talk about getting sober, getting that late in life diagnosis, and what did from there (a lot—but slowly).
This episode is really for anyone who is missing some pieces—who can’t seem to make it stick, who feel like they’ve done all the things and still your stuck in your same shit, for folks who know something is missing. It’s also for folks who might not be neurodiverse but burnt out, in hormonal flux, have relational trauma, or simply who are struggling in their recovery.
If any of this resonates, Carla’s book is a balm as well as a page turner; I also recommend it to ppl who love someone that fits this description.
xx
