One Body #workinprogress
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i felt most creative as an adult during covid lockdown when i was terrified and unemployed and bored but it was a joy to make art because idk what else are you gonna do when the world is ending. i’ve been figuring out how to find that feeling again, in between life and gigging and the nyc of it all. and over the past 8 months i've been so grateful for a patchwork of residencies: @avalochfarmmusicinstitute last summer, @way.of.love.in.sunnyside in the fall, & @bechdelproject this month. and slowly but surely this little seed of an idea about growing up being trans and singing church music in the south is becoming a real show 🌱
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i'm speaking about my ~process~ on 3/12 at @stpaulscarrollst as part of their lent visiting artist series and my first public preview will be in June with @sourgrapesproductions c/o @brynn_owen :))) and in between i’ll be in queens with @frcarlsunnyside cooking up liturgical music for omnichord.
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so! idk! the world is still ending and maybe that’s my problematic muse!
sang to a sold out MSG with @amyjustman and the @genshinimpact world tour last weekend. surreal! so many costumes in the audience! incredible players and crew! thanks to @jimneglia for being a logistics king and for including us in this stellar group
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jumbotron feed: @nielktrebor / stage mom photo: niconeeek
earlier this year i blocked out time to wonder/wander around the country in Big Val the van. This was my third car camping road trip, but by far the longest and least planned :)
i hugged so many loved ones and made meals and held babies and animals and painted and built furniture and cleaned out a garage and had a saxophone lesson and then actually broke that saxophone (saxophones are so fragile!) and went dancing in many states and got marginally better at snowboarding and skateboarding and fell asleep on a roof watching the sun swap places with the moon. and also! sat in deeply quiet and ordinary moments that were somehow more meaningful than anything else. it was so fun and sometimes scary! i am suuuper lucky and grateful to have a life & community where i can fuck off into the desert for a while and be welcomed back with enthusiasm and care and understanding. thank you to everyone who held and housed me. thank you to Val. thank you to location sharing and gps technology. huge thank you to earth and really all the planets for letting us live here.
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so hbj what next? thank you for asking! existentially still wondering/wandering and accepting that maybe that’s just my forever state of being?? buuut geographically i’m an artist in residence at @woodstock_byrdcliffe_guild for the spring and summer. my wee cabin is named Little Angelus which is both very cute and fitting since i’ll working on (finishing?!) ONE BODY during my time there. among other things! come visit!
in the summer of 2024 i got neckid in the woods of new hampshire and as i walked through a grove of apple trees, this song that i grew up singing in church, “Jesus Christ the Apple Tree,” kept ringing in my ears. i had the audacity to guild the lily and layered Dido’s Lament over top of it and eventually included it in One Body. but i also got to sing (and weep) the original choral arrangement last month. and the year before that. music is such a cool way to time travel. life happens in funky non linear ways, but then you get these inflection points of poetry and melody, and i’m somehow the same instrument singing the same pitches i memorized years ago, but i’m a whole new person every time, too. the middle verses (minus christ? is that allowed?) are:
for happiness i long have sought, and pleasure dearly i have bought. I missed of all but now i see tis found in the apple tree
i’m weary with my former toil. here i will sit and rest a while.
under the shadow i will be of the apple tree.
2025 was a challenging year /and/ it was also full of so much love and life. i’m walking into 2026 (in boots and socks and nothing else) with gratitude toward peace, simplicity, and infinity more chances to change and return ♾️
thanks 4 being here
WE DID ITTTTT
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@katyearlybird you are a star and a treasure and the best doula i could’ve ever had for ONE BODY this week. thank you for your care and brilliance and love and edits and wordsmithing and set design and deep understanding of this shit ♾️ and for reminding me to eat and for endless mint lime spindrifts. i am so lucky to know you and @oberlincollege is lucky to have you.
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THANK U ALSO to the precious Obies who filled the room with fake prayers and real singing and eager spirits and laughter and so much queer & trans joy. this is for you ❤️
ONE BODY is back for residency/workshop number two, this time with @katyearlybird at @oberlincollege 🕊️
6pm saturday november 15
warner center, studio 2
FREE
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it’s seeming like at its core, this show - and the structure of a eucharist and maybe religion in general? - is a way to process grief. two weeks ago today i decided to choose myself over what i thought would be a forever relationship. and i’m struck by how lonely freedom can feel. 10 days from today is the 10 year anniversary of a sexual assault that landed me in the nypd svu, made me stop believing in God (he/him), and put me on a trajectory of seeking codependence and control rather than love and stability.
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and today. right in the middle of these Moments, i’m sitting down to start writing the next version of One Body. which, i guess, was always about all those other things, too: change. loss. fear of being incomplete without a family/church/boyfriend/girlfriend/career/image to hide behind. trusting that you can create a new life for yourself if you let the old one die first.
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i’m grateful for this project and this week ahead and for the most beautiful community of people who tell me their own resurrection stories once they hear about this show. there will still be teehees and hahas, don’t worry! but this time around ONE BODY will be slightly less white wine spritzer, slightly more full bodied red 🍷🙏🏼
