It was an honor to wear @dawnamatrix / @lanacrooks The Messenger which placed in New Zealand’s World of Wearable Art Red Section in 2017. deep respect for this artist
Thank you @thesodimoore for communicating about this ball to me thank you @fetishballpresents thank you makeup artist @lizboures thank you team @thedoriandane@thecourtneycrave as well as for this opportunity. It meant so much and changed my perspective on a lot
@killstar thank you for gifting me from the lovely new @twintemple collection 🎪🥀 thank you to the incredibly talented 💥@mecantname 📸 for capturing these photos. definitely suggest working with them.
tribute to the late Maila ‘Vampira’ Nurmi 🥀
Oath Maxi Dress by KILLSTAR #gifted #vampira 🦇
styling / hair / makeup by me 🩸 #wearekillstar
I’m a pro-dominatrix that’s been alternative my entire life. Goth, punk, witchhouse, and industrial music carried me through some of my difficult years. I think it’s foolish of people to claim that a group of Gen Z pornstars are responsible for sexualization of goth subculture. I’ve seen more heat for them that I’ve seen for the literal rapists and groomers who wreak havoc on our lives. I think it’s also foolish to forget that goth is home to countless people who have expressed themselves sexually over the decades. Goth fashion intersects with queer leatherculture mums and dads as well as the dominatrix.
A lot of Goth music is made by ex-Catholics freely expressing their experiences with hypersexualization and religious trauma.
So it shouldn’t be much of a shock that sex workers also make up a good portion of the goth community. Rape culture also plays into this- you can’t place blame on a scantily clad woman who is consensually sexualizing herself, as the reason why the same woman in a floor length black gown is harassed by a sex pest.
Now that being said I have my issues with The Goth House for a number of reasons. The stark whiteness, the apparent lack of knowledge of any of the culture behind goth music, the racist ahegao, and playing stupid for male audiences, irritates me beyond measure. But I’m also a dominatrix whose brand is general lack of respect for the male gaze. In the end I won’t knock a bitch for how she makes her bag in this fucked capitalist technostate.
I personally think cries for censorship and purity culture (often mistakenly weaponized against queer and trans people as a whole) in the dawn of a technofascist apocalypse are concerning.
I think I will be in the mindset to make music again soon. I’ve just been angry and triggered.
Angry that our ecosystems are collapsing. Angry for MMIW. Angry for Black women falling victim to femicide. Angry about genocide. Angry about abusive narc men, angry about rape culture and theft of bodily autonomy. Angry about the patriarchy, Christofascism, religious abuse, and corrupt systems built to only benefit the elite. I don’t necessarily experience suicidality anymore, just a desire to not exist in this reality bc systemically my tribe deserves better than this. I’m grateful for my chosen family, and the ability to stay involved in global liberation. Remembering this keeps me going.
I am facing legal action from a war criminal with a history of Israeli contracts, and abusive litigation from my childhood abuser who plans to lie and piece together false images of me to discredit the truths I have told because he wants to intimidate me into silence and he has a fragile male ego. He’s very much playing out of the abuser’s playbook bar by bar so it’s not going to be difficult to fight. I’ve contact my anti-war orgs and DV collectives to support me during this time and feel safe. This is an era where survivors and marginalized people globally are being criminalized for this new wave of demanding accountability (no justice, no peace!), alienated and demonized, and these violent misogynistic freaks never win. I’m pushing forward strong and going to continue being the outspoken feminist that I am.
