dump.mov
wow whatās this a grid post from Connie for the first time in months ? 2024 was professionally great, artistically mid, personally high and low, and mentally iffy.
I got a bit sick again in March and had to go home for a while to feel like Iām in my own body and figure out medication. A symptom of CPTSD is a thing called derealisation, which I got for a bit years ago when I was recovering after hospital. For one reason or another, it arrived again in March and just stayed. I donāt know how to describe it other than not being able to cross a road because you canāt tell how close the cars are to you. The first thing you do when you wake up is check that your hands are attached to your body, and youāre able to move your toes.
It happened just before Poppyās cancer diagnosis, so while Iām frustrated that my brain reverted back to some old ways of thinking and I had to return home, I got to spend precious time with my girl before she passed.
Over time with therapy and medication, it has eased enough for me to be able to salvage parts of the year with special people in special places, not only figuring out how to leave the house alone again, but travelling to new places with new people. I love my life, and Iām so lucky to feel Iām living it.
If anyone else here has experienced it or is worried itāll never end, feel free to reach out. I hadnāt met other people who had it and because of that thought I was well and truly fucked and would be stuck in a simulation forever. I still get patches of it but it no longer occupies my mind 24/7. Do I spend those patches thinking maybe I already died and now Iām just haunting the people around me? Maybe! But life is life.
best wishes kind regards yours sincerely,
C x
hello everyone, hope youāre all having a lovely Friday. Itās two weeks today since āaffinityā came out and I wanted to thank you for the listens, gorgeous messages, and reviews. It means a lot that people have connected with work I make about my own brain. Iām a bit unwell at the moment so back in Ireland with family while my mind recalibrates. Hopefully will be back out in the wild soon :) x
šø @_grimes
last week I spoke to @vivadean and @breenbeen about one of my favourite topics - the impact space and place has on artistic work - for their gorgeous show āDigital Terrainā on RTĆ Pulse. we also walked around my favourite place in london :) you can listen back at the link in my bio. thank you so much to them for having me š
šø @vivadean
It was such an honour to create a dress for @lapsleyyyy ās return to live shows at All Points East. We wanted to reflect the tones of the seaside in the north of England, and channel the water up there. huge thank you to her and @laurenrucha for giving me the opportunity to create something special for such an incredible artist x