Morgan

#shortprose // I see glimpses of my childhood self in my adult life and now that I’m looking for her, it fills me with such delight. Like this morning, getting up early you had to move your car in the driveway so my roommate could back out. But when you opened the bedroom door, warm and bright light burst through carving along the wooden floorboards to my bed from the open window across the living room. A window now beaming, now aglow. It’s a different kind of light, this sunrise brightness; it’s not just bright but it’s almost tipping into being orange, and for a second it feels like maybe this is mars. For all we know it could be as I watch the dust particles caught in its beam — slowly dipping, suspended without gravity. And perhaps we are too, without gravity that is. Because I rock back onto my bottom easily and a smile so fully spreads across my face as I say to you, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵!

This weekend I tried to be out in the sun as much as possible. I read the phrase on substack, “going full lizard” and that is the only way I want to talk about spring and summer. The only sufficient way to capture how much my face craves warm sunlight on it. The way my eyes begin to crinkle and my brows furrow as I try to read without sunglasses for too long. I did this a lot this weekend, and I only feel more alive for it. I am slowly working my way through Aimee Nezhukumatathil’s newest collection of poetry called NIGHT OWL and I am adamant that the only way a person *should read this collection is while being outside. Day or night, but sunlight or firelight. Take your pick. Sometimes when I read poetry collections there are full poems that stand out and cause me to dogear or star the corners. And then there are also poetry collections with singular lines that are so brilliant, so clever, or so full or heart, or even imagery that the line alone is enough to just stop me. The line is enough for me to circle the whole thing and just keep coming back to it. Nezhukumatathil’s collection is both of these, but it definitely tips more into the latter. Because sometimes a line is all you need. I will say, there is one poem about the slaughtering of an elephant that caused me to underline every line. It was excessive, but I was underlining in realtime as I was reading and know I know a star to the corner would have sufficed. This poem specifically made me think about how I can sometimes get so caught up in the way poets write with attention and reverence for the natural world and her people, that I forget there is a counter balance to this awe and wonder which is a depth of angry. A kind of rage that will curse a poacher to be haunted by the ghost of those they’ve slain, that they might hear the mournful cries of an orphaned calf, that hairs might grow bristly on the bottom of their feet (and other ailments, which Nezhukumatathil does not spare the offender). What I’m trying to say, what I want you to hear is that, sometimes I forget to be a poet is to demand justice. We cannot revere beauty without being committed to protecting it in all its varied forms.

I want to wake up early and step outside. I want to stand and breathe deeply and do nothing else for a few moments, and then I just want to walk. After awhile I want to come home, brew coffee, kiss your cheek, and sit at my desk still while all the world is quiet. I’ll write or I’ll read, or some combination of the two. These are simple things, and so much more.

A bit belated, but April was a fun silly month. I read lots of graphic novels, fell in love with a new fantasy world set in the Medieval Indian Ocean, and read a few new-to-me-authors. I can’t wait to share what May looks like soon. But for now, I hope you enjoy these 🦋

Please forgive me as I share about this poetry collection again. As you can tell by the table of contents, I loved many. These are snippets. These are poems of attention, of care, and mothering. The lines that stuck out, the tagged pages I’ll come back to. This is a simple post, and I’m sorry I am leaving you the work of zooming in to read. But it’s worth it, I promise.

INTERMEZZO is only the second book I’ve picked up of Rooney’s, and it happens to be my favorite. I’ll say that generally when an author is so deeply beloved and cherished, I put their books on a metaphorical shelf to sit for a while, to wait for a more quiet and calm moment to dive in. I don’t think this is because I’m skeptical of the praise and adoration an author can receive en masse, but rather, I worry I myself will put too much expectation on a book without allowing it to simply be what it is. To say the least, I’m glad I waited and that I had the chance to read alongside two friends @thecuratedreadingroom @gabrielas_goodreads 🦋 #review // This is a keep for me. INTERMEZZO is a story about two brothers grieving and the people they love. It is unconventional, frustrating, soft and filled with possibility of what can be if we are brave enough to explore outside the realm of what society might deem normal or proper. I loved Ivan, a 22 year old chess genius whose brain sees the world differently and thus was constantly navigating how best to interact with the world (and women) around him. Rooney perfectly captured the naivety and stubbornness of youth in this character. I found the moments where we saw Ivan working something out on the page — a past belief changed, a new pov from Margaret taken in and thus an internal shift — to be some of my favorite. So much of his and Margaret’s relationship is protected, hidden behind closed doors, as she is a decade older than him and is separated from her husband. But the town is small and thus people will talk. The moments of them in her home, in the kitchen, the small touches, their giddy playfulness and extreme openness with one another made me fell tingly inside just to witness. Peter, the eldest brother by a decade, is a successful lawyer, academic, and charismatic man who felt very intentionally made to be the character we are most at odds with. I mean I kind of internally eye-rolled writing that. There were many times I was frustrated and angry about the way he both thought about and outwardly treated the two women he is involved with, Silvia and Naomi (the latter being closer to Ivan’s age). Cont >>

Because books are just a part of my lif Because books are just a part of my life, and there are so many little things that bring me joy. Here are just a few: 1) Typically I get my film processed digital, but I wanted to see what it would be like to get future rolls printed and have more tangible physical media. This was one of my favorite things growing up — looking through family albums, listening to my mom of grandmother tell stories of their lives. I want to be able to do the same one day. 2a) Somewhat connected, my film camera is an old Sony I bought on eBay, and so when I saw this digital Sony for $28 (and I had credit to use at @mckayswinstonsalem ) I figured why not? I did discover it was missing a memory card and cords to connect to the computer, but hey, I think it’s a worthwhile experiment. 2b) On the same front I am THRILLED about @veronicaroth ‘s news about coming out with a story where Tris chooses a different faction. I never read the Divergent series, but I’ve fallen in love with Roth’s later works (The Curse Bearer Series). Reading this has transported me to all the angst of my teens! 3) It is so good to be reminded that you don’t need to spend loads of money to make your space feel right. I was getting a bit sad about all the grays in the apartment that make everything feel colder. But adding these window decals and being gifted this rug from a friend has honestly improved my spirits by an embarrassing amount. 4) I’ll forever be a stan of @parisreview ✨ I like how much it exposes me to artists and writers I have not delved into. There is also something about reading an interview that is very sweet, and intimate. 5) So much of being grown is simply making meals, and I find I can easily get stuck doing the same things over and over again. I’m so grateful for the inspiration of friends, I will be making both these dishes a lot this summer (a pasta salad with homemade dressing inspired by @jessdekkerreads & a tuna chickpea bowl from my friend @annalynnmcray ) ✨🌷 thanks for reading about my little joys

Today, a poem I love by Kate Baer for this cloudy Wednesday. In the blue eye of winter we follow our retriever out to the back field where she presses her nose to the ground, tunneling snow and dirt. Adoration of the season. Adoration of the minute. How simple it must be to wake up knowing who you are, what you want. No reason to dwell on lives we could have lived, stew in our personal disappointments. Still, we’re not so different. There isn’t much a long walk won’t fix.

As many of you know, I’ve been slowly finding my way back to literature in all its many fiction and non-fiction forms. And with warmer and longer evenings approaching, I find myself craving a few things: • The first being, the ability to step into stories that feel like stepping back in time. Stories that capture youth in all their possibilities. [Nymph, The Typing Lady] • The second being, stories that capture what it means to be human. With all it’s highs and lows, and our genuine need for one another if we are to ever — I wouldn’t say “make sense of it” — but hold space for the unknown and not be alone. [All My Dead Cats, I Know the Ants] • The third being, stories that surprise me. Stories that have twists and turns and make me question what I think is true. Stories where my assumptions could be wrong. [I Know the Ants] • And lastly, stories that give me hope. [Against Breaking, All My Dead Cats, The Typing Lady] These books felt like they fell into one or multiple categories. Now it’s just deciding where I want to dive in first 🪶 🐈 🌱 🐜 🐜

Two of my favorite things: cats and books. I read a quote this morning that said, when I’m feeling low, I look at my cats, and my courage returns. And I can’t help thinking there must be truth in this. Truth in looking at something or someone you love so deeply, and that being enough to shake you even just a little. This idea that love of a thing can make you a little more brave. So, with that, bravery to you dear friend on this new day.

In recent years I’ve needed my reading to be an escape. I’ve required knights and heroines and friendship and cleverness and to see evil vanquished. I’ve required books that offer that hopeful truth that the universe is always trying to arc back toward love and justice. And now while I still feel that same stirring, I recognize I want to see these same themes played out in books about the world I live in. I want to read more non-fiction. And it’s not just the act of reading more non-fiction that I crave, it’s also the routine that this form requires of me: a routine of carving out time to offer more of my attention. And when I think of it this way, I can see it’s not an issue of scarcity but perhaps a misallocation of my attention in this present moment. There are many non-fiction titles I am eager to reach for this spring and summer, but I think the one I am most excited about it this one — This is Also a Love Story by Sally Hayden a reporter and foreign correspondent. This collection is one where each chapter offers a different location of focus, places around the globe that have been defined by crisis whether it be war, displacement, violence, exploitation, or climate collapse to name a few. This is Also a Love Story looks at the catastrophes of these places and reexamines them through the ordinary and seemingly miraculous stories of love that Hayden encountered during her career documenting some of the darkest moments in history. I know this book is going to elicit a lot of feelings and responses from me. I’m sure I’ll encounter many heroines and see that same truth of the universe curving toward something good. I truly cannot wait to start this one. A huge thank you to the publisher @4thestatebooks for sending me this copy, 🥹✨ out May 21 in the UK (this cover) and June 16 in the US.

Recent good things I wanted to share ✨ 1. Meeting @padraigotuama was surreal. I still can’t adequately put it into words. The number of collections and poets I’ve picked up; my courage in reading more poetry, it all started with him and the Poetry Unbound podcast. 2. Finding these used treasures at @mckayswinstonsalem —. 95 cents for Charlie’s Angels! And a favorite poetry collection to gift?! 3. I’ll be thinking about Night Owl (and talking about it) for years to come. And I fell in love with Amina and her crew in this pirate adventure story. 4. Buddy reads just do something different. Getting to send voice-memos and share ideas back and forth with @thecuratedreadingroom and @gabrielas_goodreads is making this story all the more special. 5. I just want to be around flowers always, and 6. This freshly emerged cicada.