Last month I had the opportunity to sing this song—and the rest of the wildly epic score of “Chess”—with 16 other singers backed by a 24 person orchestra, and what a joy it was. And to be under the direction of @michael.philip.ob , who I’ve looked up to for over 25 years and been lucky enough to call a dear friend and brother for half of them, made it that much sweeter.
It’s been a few years since I’ve been asked to use my instrument to its truest and fullest potential. To “let the Maserati purr” as @hannahelless says. Singing this score, that at times felt like it was written for my voice, was such a boon for the healing process from these last few years, and has given me validation, hope, and a reinvigorated confidence.
During this time of change, where “man’s petty nations” continue to tear themselves apart, remember that the love of the human heart is truly boundless. No matter what games those with power may play, we have authority over our own behavior and can act out of love and compassion, not hatred and fear.
@gretnatheatre
📸: @laurenaltheahphotography
🎥: a mysterious wood nymph
This is what unpaid labor looks like.
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One year ago today, our Paradise Square community entered the iconic @powerstationatberkleenyc to record our OBC album—for many of us, our first. Years and years of love, hardship, tears, and even more love all swirled together to create one of the few artifacts of proof that Paradise Square existed. And gosh we had fun doing it.
Yes, we still have not been paid for that day. Yes, because of the ineptitude and failings of one person the world may never get to hear @jasonhowlandmusic ’s music or @masiasare and @doctorpickles ’s lyrics. Folks may not get to sing “I’m Coming” with their friends in their cars, swoon over @nathaniel.stampley in their ears, or secretly listen to “Let it Burn” to fuel them in their last set at the gym.
But for now, you can catch a few sneak peeks over at Jason’s page. He lead us so well not just in the studio, but always.
And maybe give a listen for a certain PA All State Bass 2 in the beginning of “Heaven Save Our Home” (and in the last slide here). District 11 would be proud.
Missing these “poisoned people” of The Five Points today.
After some light fiction reading over the weekend, about 50+ pages or so, I’m much more ~viscerally aware of what the term gaslighting means.
Small men see the world through an even smaller lens, and will always try to appear bigger than they are. Usually at the expense of the truth and the lived experience of the people they’re pushing down.
The only poison in PSQ was a looot of alcohol to both celebrate each other and navigate the muck.
Now let’s take a few breaths…
It’s been two months since we left the Barrymore.
These human beings. Those on stage and off. This was Paradise Square. The fire. The courage. The community. The support. The joy. The compassion. The grit. The grace. The idiots. The kings. The queens. All the in-betweens. The ~TALENT~. The perseverance. The intelligence—intellectually, emotionally, spiritually. The Love. The Love. The Love.
A bit has already come out about our experience in The Points, and more may still as we all process the harm that was caused. Know that when we did not feel cared for and valued, we spoke up, we spoke out, we persisted. And harm continued.
I will say this for now. If the system has a priority to foster spaces that value the humanity of the artists, where they can safely create the most moving and engaging art possible, then the system failed us.
And if that is ~not a priority, then what are we doing?
When presented in an interview with the idea that good art and creativity needs to come from suffering, the Dalai Lama was perplexed. He said that art is beautiful because of the inner transformation the artists go through during the act of creation. How they became more enlightened, kinder, more deeply aware. What they learned about the human condition while creating.
And—since our society loves to place value on literally everything—if we’re going by that metric? For these human beings of the Five Points?
This shit was ~Expensive~.
Wild was the word of the weekend. I asked the universe for a palate cleanser…and she did not disappoint.
Last Thursday I got a call that The Cape Playhouse needed reinforcements due to covid. I hopped in a car, drove up, had a 5 hour put in on Friday, did the show that night, collapsed on stage after it was all over, and then we did it two more times on Saturday before the production was unfortunately shut down for good due to the Co Co Chanel (as @leighesty said, “she’s a French virus here on the Cape”).
Melissa Hunt (@pleasehuntme ) and Libby Unsworth (@squibzesty ) are rockstars and taught me the track in an afternoon and guided me through the show as it happened—hearing Melissa whisper yell “SIT!” from the wings during the ballet will have me laughing for a long time. Singing this score again guided by Garrett Taylor (@the_garrett_taylor_show ) was a joy. I couldn’t have done it without them.
I had so much fun falling for Leigh and playing third musketeer to Josh (@joshdrake.pdf ) and Barrett (@barrettadamriggins ). The cast and crew was incredibly supportive and warm and welcoming and shoved with so much love, and I wish they had more of a chance to fall in love with this story that has meant so much to me.
What a marvelous reminder that everything we have ever experienced always lives within us.
And it is another reminder that, while we love a “the show must go on” story, this sort of thing is no longer unexpected and there needs to be a shift within the business as a whole. Not prioritizing swings and understudies is just one example of how the budgeters strip away the humanity of the laborers in this business, and when these sorts of events occur an undue amount of emotional labor falls on us to keep the show going. It’s not fair to the humans on stage and off, and ultimately creates spaces that can be unsafe.
We deserve better.
Until next time, Henri.
This experience has been a catalyst for change in so many ways.
I am not the same human as I was on October 30, 2018. And so much of that is due to the grace, the joy, the ferocity, the power, the fearlessness, and the love of every single denizen of the Five Points.
I don’t know how to “do” today, but that’s ok because we get to do it together.
Today would have been her 67th birthday, and although Mama left her body 10 years ago, thanks to @katyandthetramp she was able to be physically present for my debut last month.
Happy Birthday, Mom! She was with me every step along the way, and she is with me on this one as well.
Besides just, y’know, surviving, this year was a whole lot of watching Survivor, herbal refreshment, group therapy…
And of course my time in the Paradise Square Saloon with some remarkable humans. See you in a few months at the Barrymore.
