“WHAT’S GOING ON AROUND HERE?!!!
Hey, youz! Whewww… it has been exactly one year since my last post… and now my InstaHam sabbatical is over! Sweet social media free created a better me… but now it is back to the business of analyzing business as usual.
Ohhh boy am I ready with a loaded clip of context related content that I won’t be content with until I show you copy and copies! 365 is a long stretch… so let’s get cooking! Oh… but first things first… let me explain why I put Bugs above. 👆
About a year ago I wrote the foreword about a backwards look that is inside the book “La Ultima Bodega En SoHo” created by my dear old friend @santomondongo . This is a book of photos only… that illustrate a moment in time in downtown manhattan. The photos are mostly low res from camera phones that were barely phones and definitely not cameras.
As important as these photos are to those that know… for the rest of you they are the images to my words that describe a moment gone due to many economic factory factors. We have all experienced that ending of a moment never to come again. In that way you will relate to my words. More specifically I also talk of a neighborhood like none other… a few blocks that contain some history of mob boss John Gotti, Supreme skate shop, Little Italy, Chinatown, SoHo, original Dominicans, unoriginal pilgrims, and the constant pressure for all good things to come to an end in order to make room for selfishness and greed.
Ok… back to Bugs… the Brooklyn Hare… and his episode that is a snapshot of a universal struggle to defend one’s right to live and prosper where we have invested so much time and love. “Progress” is inevitable… and Bugs always wins… but “La Ultima Bodega En SoHo” didn’t. My foreword is a look backward at some moments and history spun in my usual amateur word play.
Love or hate my delivery… the ten pages of written ramblings inside may spark your own local nostalgia… and hopefully deep contemplation on why some things may be bad business but worth every penny to save!
Thanks to @santomondongo and thanks to all of you that let me take this time off. I owe many of you a message, perhaps a handshake, and/or a first hello.
🧠
ALL-WAYs!!!! ➡️ Ughhhh…
SUCCESS BY ASSOCIATION No.51
Ok, after a very long Instagram sabbatical from this broken frat-form… I bring you my latest edition to my patent pending “Success By Association™️” posts.
DiD you miss my redundant madness? Yeah, me neither! But here we are… so let’s dive back in to figure out which of these “establishments” we are going to Door-Dash to out detriment.
Hard to decide which WAY I want to go here. Hmmmm… a torta sounds tempting, and gyro would make my palate gyrate, yet the traditional Subway route seems nostaligic like chickenpox! So many WAYS to go!
While my intestines decide for me… let’s analyze this foot-long fast-fool mimicry.
Subway is perhaps the “Got Milk” of the togo food world logo mambos. Who hasn’t seen a parody of their successful branding. It is so sadly iconic that even Subway has several different versions of the logo, many of which look like they are bootlegging their own identity.
And as you know, and as I endlessly say, if you are a local “mom & pop” business starting up with no clues on how to brand yourself, and can’t lean on the merits of your meals, then copying the look and feel of a household brand is your subway map to destination success! Subway is safe consistency in the subconscious hearts of consumers. So, look like them and maybe inherit the success of their hard work and comfort food windfall. People are fond of the familiar… alWays💰🌯🥙🥖
WAY-TO-GO, DREAMERS!
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Ok, too many uses of the word “way.” Sorry, you gluttons! Also, thanks to my man, Manny, for tossing the TortaWay in to the food fray post. Gyro I found during my adventures in these advertising streets.
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AND… Thanks to all for being patient patients during my Dear Abby absence. 🩺 Now I am going to dive in to my literal thousands of DMs. Wish me luck. Looking forward to reconnecting with most of you.
Coming Soon… “Rat’Teryx”
ILL-LOGICAL-LIST : Episode.1
“SUPERHUMAN” or INHUMANE?
Either way… this means war… on you.
Damn, so much to unpack here! It’s a case study in a can of how to manipulate people, I mean “consumers.” That word takes the corporate guilt out of the shady profits. This 16oz bullet is a diabolical masterpiece. This damn drinkable drug has to be right at the border of all marketing and advertising legalities. This is criminal, but legally safe-ish. So much psychology targeting every age and level of insecurity for all.
*We are only allowed to write about four paragraphs on this platform, so let me get to it. Let’s look at the ART of wallet war!
*All of the below points might be conscious to some… but most of us will miss why this can resonates with the subconscious of so many.
The primary vehicle to deliver this hustle is a childlike RACE CAR parallel.
1) Bright yellow has always proven to generate impulse purchase profits. 🍋
2) The “C4” typeface (font) looks like the number on so many of those playful man toys we see circling the racetrack in NASCAR culture. 🚘
3) It’s called C4 as in the explosive every child knows from those “cool” movies and TV. 💥
4) This flavor, SKITTLES! The irresistible candy for so many and is arguably the most alluring candy package design ever, and right on the can. This seems like a page out of Camel Cigarettes “Joe Camel” characters. *Google it. What a lure for every man, child, and man-child. 🌈
5) “Superhuman Performance.” Again, car racing, coupled with physical performance… of man and machine. 🦾
6) Again “Superhuman Performance” can also imply improved sexual performance. This bright yellow phallic symbol can imply virility… in all ways. 💪
7) Zero Calories. This implies “good for you.” This is classic word play, especially for impulse purchases. For woman, it implies a better body. This isn’t about diabetes safety or true calorie counting. 💉
8) Adult style beer can 🍺
9) All these words and colors say this will help you do your job better. That may mean work, party, play, or plan. 🏆
This can scam is marketed like a fun medicine… and completely prescription free. But beware the copay!
💰consumer wallet warfare💰
HONOR AND HYPOCRISY
All of you know my style of posts. In most, I combine humor with often sobering truth, and some creative license, to deliver a message, an idea, of what we all see around us. Today is not a funny day for me. Doesn’t mean we can’t laugh to ease the pain some of us feel when 9/11 leans on us. For me, today, I feel reflective, I feel heavy thinking back. I am not thinking of that day so much as I am thinking of the aftermath of that day. What NYC felt like after. What America felt like after. More importantly, I think of how many people have died as a result of the chemicals unleashed on New Yorkers, friends, me…
I then see this print advertisement. An ad bragging about chemical warfare unleashed on the world with a con-game like approach to get the chemicals in your hand, with passion, addicted, then blame you for dying.
Yes, this is an ad that was made before that awful day on 9/11, but is no less awful an image and idea then as it is now. Using pride to exploit US, using strength to make US weak, and ultimately… killing more people than any war ever. “Big Tobacco” is an unparalleled anti human, anti American, domestic and international terrorist that doesn’t care about anything but its own profits and its shareholders. Their statistics are unmatched awful. If Big Tobacco cared about anyone, about humanity, or at least Americans, they would stop trying to make us weak by filling us with vanity and false pride. They would stop attacking the poor by marketing the rich, the better life, the lies. They would stop blaming others for the killing addiction that they have spent billions to create… and still do.
On this tough day for so many… I think of those that died, and are dying, from past and continued attacks on humanity. Most are unpreventable. The worst attack, the continuing attack, the uncontrolled murderer, can be stopped with not one bomb or bullet, and not one life lost. It can be stopped forever by the stoke of a pen.
It’s all for ego and profit. Those that died on 9/11, those that continue to die because of 9/11, and those that died and are dying from smoking… this post is for your families… and mine.
#🚬 #StopSmokingNOW
The WINNERS CIRCLE 1977 : My RePost 2015.
Hey, Champs… In honor of fashion week in NYC... I bring to you... "The WINNER™."
For all those out there feeling like losers… fashion victory can be yours! This wearable win could have been on your feet, like a meaningless trophy for simply participating, and for the low low price of $12.99 in 1977 bucks, Bucko! *Although that doesn't sound like much of a deal when you consider what those retro funds translate to. Hmmm... well, no matter the cost to your wallet or your image, you can't put a price on that winning feeling! 🏆🥇
Now… before you judge these as "BO-BOs" (look the term up) take a closer look. These look-a-likes are actually made by CONVERSE exclusively for Sears. So, that kinda makes them name brand, in certain teirs, back then. So you were safe to fashion ball on a budget, but don’t go bragging!
WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE:
It has always been this way... major brands have created "white label" sub-brands for mega retailers. "Be your own competition" and make all the money at every price tier. Just look at your local supermarket chain selling the similar looking Frosted Fakes™ cereal to moms on a budget without the brand losing it's high priced image. Now that's a Grrrrrrreat business!!!
WHERE WERE WE?:
Ok... So back to these sneakers. Now when you take a second look at these Conversate Truck Chaylors, and four stripe BADidas , you now know they are actually too legit… sort of. Knowing that, there is value in that irony and insider info. Plenty are printing money on that fashion formula. *outsole insider info.
Now knowing what you know about brands bootlegging their own goods, you would be damn lucky to have a “dead stock” pair of these “fakes!”
THE DREAM:
Just think about it, right now you could be walking the red carpet of these runway shows in a one-of-won winning pair of fashion fakes that aren’t really fake at all. Now who would be the retro champ then, sport?! That's right! Reject other’s attempts to score footwear fame and dunk on those fools... forever sending them to the losers bench. There should only be one retro fashion WINNER™ this fall... YOU!
#BootLegUpOnTheCompetition #BuckTaylors #BADidas
LUNCH CRIME: TACO TUESDAY
Buenas tardes, my greedy gringos!!! Lunch time via text-mex! No time to run for a gastrointestinal MMA fight via Taco Bell? Well… in five minutes you can have all the taste and biological trouble in the palm of your hand like the probiotic destroying god that you are! So much flavor… so much surprise! Have a blast! All puns intended. 🌮☕️
SIDE NOTE: It has become very clear… that any popular food or flavor… can be stuffed in a cup of noodles!!! There are no limits! Hmmmm… bring on the chicken & waffles!!! Too easy. Wait… better yet… let’s stay on social trends and go full “charcuterie board” and get a tummy tornado of fake meats, cheeses, and yes fruits, all on one fork full, fool! So much sophistication… so fast and convenient. 🥇
#SoloCupYolo #FastAndFuriousFood #TacoHell #WhyKnot #IntercontinentalIntestines #ChemicalCoctails #TacHoe
SLIDING IN TO THE WEEKEND…
NEW BALANCED. *2015 post revisited
My man "Air Jesus", nickname given by @kennymeez , has always been creative with his footwear. The term customizer takes on a different meaning in the hands, and feet, of this cobbling artist. Comfort is priceless and this gent will pay for it with all the social cache he has.
A size 14 is not always easy to find... sooooo... take a size 13 and kill two birds with one stone. DIY summer slides meets perfect size wise. If necessity is the mother of invention… then this gent is the father. Well played! Hats off to you, Tinker-er!!!
#SandalSneaking #AirHesus #OldNewBalance #SonShoes #LikeJesus #PediCure #TinkerHatfieldsCrazyCousin
PACO BELL - Success By Association No.50
🍾 The big 50! It’s definitely more. Ok, celebration! Shall we dive right in to the pico?
Well well… PACO BELL! I have seen, and amateurishly photographed, many chain restaurants turned mom & pop gardens of fiscal dreams. But this one takes the cake! Wait, is flan a cake? If so, insert that silky gem dead center in to the crown of this copy cat king!
Let’s call this the hermit crab technique. Climbing into the shell of another creatures hard work left behind. Many people fit their dream in to the leftover nightmare of another. When the cold touch of corporate American food doesn’t work with, or warm, the community, the shell they leave behind is so specific that the real estate is virtually useless to anyone with taste who is seeking to create their own identity. But, one corporation’s trash might be the little guy’s budget treasure. The rent goes low, the fixtures all ready to go, and the visual recognition ready to hoe!
*Why are there no gardening tool emojis? 🤔
The southwestern landscape is peppered with taquerias and this startup solution is a potential vein of gold wrapped in a tortilla. *your choice of corn or flour. To slide right in to the abandon home of the most well known taco lord in the world is marketing made easy.
Taco Bell, the guiltiest of pleasures! Wait! Don’t start your condescending “I don’t eat that crap” while you smoke mystery weed from cartel farms covered in chemicals and drink alcohol legally allowed to exclude their list of ingredients. Is your vodka, yac or edibles even safe? 🤔
Anyway, here is the scenario…
The ghost of Glen Bell has placed the gringo taco haven in our path, the Bell is ringing in our eyes. We say “hmm maybe”, knowing inside we are like “yeah, definitely!” We get closer and see that our dream of Doritos Tacos is loco since Pacos Tacos is definitely without that magic machine made nacho dust of the corporate drug gods. With eyes on the shell of the Bell, brain still excited, we say “well, prob better quality food”, and BOOM, the “Success By Association” instantly works. GOT EM! I mean GOT ME! Sorry, tacos make me dyslexic. MUY! Damn it, I mean YUM!
#TacoPacoAndMe
DR. SEUSS… life crimes and abuse
OH NO… a flat… and a rat! A junkie with a bat! If only, like that, the rat could fix the flat who arrived on the back of the junkie with a bat. Fix a flat and the junkie gets a fix! What else, other than a fix, does this rat have in his bag of tricks?!
If only Dr. Seuss road Citi wide, and lived in present day Lower East Side. NYC would be filled with cheer… from the $1 pizza place to the bodega for beer.
One beer… two beer… three beer… more… with more Seuss on the walls who sees trash on the floor!
My, what happy rhymes he might have… to make those with high rent feel less sad. But with rent control you can afford the toll… for your hole… is a castle… despite the junkies that hassle.
Those junkies and frat bros litter streets… hunting the concrete jungle for their versions of meat. Step over… crawl under… but do not blunder… for Wall Street dreams may give plenty to plunder.
Ah yes… dream at work… dream at play… dream when you sleep on the sweet subway!
But but but…
May the dreams we dream be real… Oh yes, a sweet dream… on noooo, a dope fiend!
Alas… the best dream… we can only wonder… that never a landlord… or his rat with fix… shall put any asunder.
- Dr. Seuss & Ari Saal… *pronounced like Sail. Now please drop a thank you in our empty tip pail. *meaning… chime in below.
#DrSusAndSeuss
SUCCESS BY ASSOCIATION No.49
Ohhhh… Little Debbie, how you toy with our children’s emotions using this misleading story of success by association.
Here you are… giving kids hope that their buddy Buzz might deliver these malicious muffins to their mom’s Infinity while it’s parked at Bed, Bath and BEYOND!!!!!!
So unfair is this false hope that Woody would, if he could, make every hungry child happy, if only Little Debbie would have paid the licensing fee to Disney and make this all a happy diabetic ending to remember.
But, what do kinds know? It looks like “Toy Story”… so it IS Toy Story!!! Kids have the best imagination and will make the leap without scrutinizing the Little Debbie details. In their minds this is the snack of toy heroes, and exactly what the execs were counting on when they were counting the high cost to rent the Toy Story image versus the low cost of high calories for their naive little consumers. *Long sentence, short corporate consciousness.
Little Debbie, you are devious, and not even a little bit. If you are going to take advantage of intellectual property loopholes, and kids beautiful minds, then at least pay the fee! This way the kids can get some stickers of their favorite toy ploy included in the box of nutrition-means-nuthin’ muffins!
Lil’ Deb, may I call you Deb? You are a Lil’ Devil… and not in a cute rosy cheek kind of way like your illustration in the box implies. You are the kind of wealth versus health selfish that goes to… INFINITY AND BEYOND!
*Insulin not included.
Long story long… you know, my usual point. Taking something yet to be successful, and making it look like something that is successful, is the forever recipe of success…. By Association.
*Only 4 calories, and 1 gram of sugar, per serving
** 73 servings per 2oz package.
*** These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, FBI, USDA, ATF, NBA, MSG, AEIOU… and as always WHY?!
special thanks to my cousin in corporate crime @yo_rnc_snaps for this one. He sees similarly. 👁👁
#PloyStory #BuzzRightHere #WoodyFlavor #ChocolateCheaps #LittleDebbieBigRegrets #GuiltyVerdictFree #ItsYourFaultTheyDidntTellYou #SuccessByAssociation
VIDEO LINK… I am finally posting this link to the closing talk I had at the University Of Miami School Of Law hosted by the gracious gents @bigjared14 and @kennethtaughtme of @sneakerlaw . Please give it a listen if you are bored enough or kind enough. 🙏
Thank you to UM, Sneaker Law, and to all those that humored my long winded yapping in the audience and online. For those that had terrible trouble trying to deal with some streaming technical issues… I hope the wait was worth it. Probably not. Ha.
*And please don’t confuse any silly and cocky seeming comments as anything more than my usual nervousness in those situations. Thank you to everyone involved. 🙏
“LINK IN THE BIO, YO!”
Or type all this latin out.
/media/a3cbe81e-6a37-4d44-b633-b3fb7ef42311/public
📸 photo by @selinerzz213
