It’s been 17 years since Becca died and every year I post something about her. Why? I struggle with why I do this on a public platform for all to see. I’ve convinced myself, over the years, that I do it because I don’t want her to be forgotten. It’s my responsibility to consistently remind the world not to forget her, by God. Or so I’ve convinced myself. But today, I was thinking how SHE would feel knowing that I do this every year and to be honest, I’m not quite sure she would be comfortable with it. Becca wasn’t one to seek validation and attention like me. Is it all projection, because the thought of ME being forgotten is too much to process? Since I was a kid, my extrovert soul has thirsted for attention...hence I chose a life of performance and surrounded myself with friends who were like minded... basking in the glory of “being seen.” Maybe I write these things as a way for YOU to see me and all my grief more than remembering Becca. The thought of that makes me wanna puke, because if it’s really all about me, then WTF?? I also know it’s all very complex.
When people die, it takes all but a hundred years or so for them to be forgotten and that thought is absolutely terrifying. I know I’ve spoken about this concept before, so excuse me if I am repeating myself. But it’s absolutely mind-blowing that we can be here one moment and be blown away with the wind a few moments later. I also know that this is how it should be. We live, die and move on and continue on and on and on.
So many times, I still have the urge to call her if something exciting or traumatic happens in my life. How can she just not be there? I channel her voice in dark times, but it’s getting fuzzier and more muted. (Rest in comments)
In all my 25 years living in NYC and now 5 years as a Jersey girrrrlll, I’ve never seen the river frozen Iike this. These photos do not do this vision justice.
#hudsonriver #edgewaterwaterfront #nycskyline
2025 was a pretty rough year on many levels…. But then there were these magical moments that made all the crappy shit dissipate.
#documentaryphotographer #mitzvahphotographer #njmitzvahphotographer #nymitzvahphotographer #natgeoyourshot
Fourteen years ago, these wondrous souls made their entrance into this insane universe and words will never be able to convey just how lucky we are to witness it.
Happy Birthday, Madzie and Elliot! May you continue to soar!
Mitzvah 📸 @iracaselphotography
