Your anger isn’t a sign you’re failing - it’s a signal, stemming from overwhelm, invisibility, and those vulnerable child parts that didn’t get the care they needed.
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There’s so much emphasis on repairing with our child, but what about the repair with ourselves - the repair with those angry, younger parts who were never fully held or understood?
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As we get more self-aware about what fires us up, we learn more about ourselves, our boundaries, our values and what truly matters.
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In this course, my central aim is to help you transform your relationship with anger, building life-long skills in self-regulation and self-compassion - for your own sanity and self-esteem, and to pass on to your children.
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When we learn to reconnect and repair with ourselves, we can finally show up in a more grounded, authentic way with the people we love.
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💜If you’re struggling with anger or finding yourself losing your temper more often than you’d like, I’d love to support you to understand your anger, find compassion, feel empowered and reconnect with those you love.
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👉🏼DM or comment “HEAL” for the link - Autumn discount ends tonight at midnight.
Watch to the end 💥 I’m a psychologist and mum-of-two, and I feel the rage sometimes.
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Mothers today spend more time caring for children than in the 1960s - while also working more, and with far less support.
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No wonder mothers are angry.
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We’re not failing - we’re FEELING.
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❤️🧡Do you feel it too?
Maternal anger doesn’t erupt in a vacuum. So often it’s a valid response from a nervous system carrying too much, for too long, with too little support.
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When we slow down enough to bring context to a mother’s anger - rather than shame and judgment - it starts to make a different kind of sense.
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I explore this more deeply in my Maternal Rage course - including the emotional demands, relationship dynamics and wider societal pressures placed on mums that leave women feeling constantly overwhelmed and on edge. **See Stories for more**
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🩷Have you been this mother? Are you, in fact, this mother?
Too many women are becoming mothers while carrying silence, shame and a lack of knowledge and support that should never have been theirs to hold alone.
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As a mum and psychologist, I believe what’s central to healing is creating spaces where women feel safe enough to speak more honestly, share their true feelings, and feel valued and supported.
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In a world where mothers feel better cared for and held - by family, community and society - it becomes easier for the next generation of women to say: “me too” ❤️
So many mothers are carrying far more than they were ever meant to hold alone.
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❤️Do you recognise yourself in this?
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If you’d like support to better understand your anger with more compassion - and feel more connected to yourself and your children - my maternal rage course is on sale until Sunday.
I think it can be really helpful to think about maternal regret similarly to maternal anger.
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Both are difficult emotions women are taught to suppress or feel ashamed of - yet both contain important information.
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🌱What comes up for you reading this?
And when mothers push back against the systems that fail to hold them - both at home and societally - when they demand better, name injustice, and insist that care work has value - they’re dismissed as “ridiculous”, “radical” and “problematic”.
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There’s a long history here.
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For centuries, women’s anger has been pathologised to keep it controlled and contained.
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“Hysteria” has historically been a strategy to silence women who dare to feel, who react, who refuse to comply.
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From the idea of the “wandering womb”, a condition coined by Hippocrates in ancient Greece with the belief that a woman’s uterus could move through her body - causing emotional instability, madness, loss of speech. A convenient way of locating distress in women’s “messy” bodies, rather than in the world around them.
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The term “hysteria” remained in psychiatric classification until 1980.
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And still today, women’s distress is too often minimised, medicalised, and turned into pathology.
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So when women speak with force, when mothers refuse to comply, when they point to injustice - they continue to be framed as irrational, unstable, too much.
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This is how systems protect themselves.
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Because anger that’s understood becomes power - and power that’s organised becomes change.
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So no - mothers aren’t the problem. It’s what they’re pointing to that is.
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🩶What comes up for you reading this?
I recently discovered that Mindful New Mum has now sold nearly 13,000 copies - something I honestly hadn’t expected.
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When I was writing it, I wanted to evoke those raw early months that I experienced and that so many women speak about in therapy - the sheer intensity, tenderness, overwhelm, identity shifts, and the constant self-questioning that can come alongside it.
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While the title might suggest something super ‘zen’, the heart of my book is really about helping mothers feel more grounded - in their bodies and emotions, while grappling with their new role during this seismic transition. Especially at a time when feelings like anxiety or anger can feel all-consuming.
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I wanted to share psychological ideas and trauma-informed tools that I use in my clinical work every day - from understanding our ‘tricky’ brains and emotional systems, to working with the body through breath, movement, and grounding practices.
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And I wanted tired mothers to be able to dip into it however they needed in the fog of those early months - whether for a grounding exercise at 3am, reassuring words on rage or intrusive thoughts, ideas around nourishment and recovery, or gentle practices like yoga.
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I explore the wider pressures of patriarchal motherhood - from the myth of ‘Supermum’ to the unequal division of labour many women carry - while sharing practical ideas to help women voice their needs, share the load more fairly, strengthen parent-baby attunement and move towards a kinder, more empowered way of mothering.
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I still get messages from mums who found the book at their most vulnerable, telling me it helped them feel less alone, more understood, and a little more like themselves again.
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💜Thank you to everyone who has read it, recommended it, or passed it on to someone else - it means more than you might know.
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What helped you as a new mum?
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#matrescence
I really loved being in conversation with @sorayachemaly@ragebecomesher - exploring maternal anger, regret, fears we’re damaging our children, patriarchal motherhood, and the pressures modern mothers are carrying.
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A conversation about what happens when mothers are expected to hold everything together, all the time - and what can shift when we begin meeting ourselves with more compassion and less shame - ending on what helps us hold onto hope in difficult times.
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💜And as always, I’d really love to hear what our conversation brought up for you.
As you emerge from the early “baby bubble”, it’s really common to notice a dip in mood and a growing sense of now what?
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The early days can feel like a whirlwind - intense, overwhelming, but contained in some way - and then the support falls away as partners return to work and life moves on around you.
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You may feel more settled in your role, but also face long, repetitive days alongside cumulative exhaustion.
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In a survey of 1,000 parents with children under five, Aldi found that parents feel most lonely five months after birth.
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Over half reported a slump in mood after the first three months, and more than 1 in 2 mums feel lonely despite being with their baby. This isn’t that surprising - mothers spend an average of seven hours a day alone with their little one, compared to four hours for dads.
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There’s a wider context to this. Many parents are raising babies in relative isolation, with the burden of care still falling largely on mothers, alongside limited parental leave and cuts to community support and spaces.
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This isn’t a personal failing. We’re not designed to do this alone.
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Finding small, meaningful pockets of connection where you feel safe enough to talk honestly and feel heard can make all the difference - especially when nearly 80% of parents hide their true feelings.
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That’s why I’m supporting the @aldiuk x @pandas_uk initiative to raise awareness of perinatal mental health and the support available. As part of this, Aldi is donating £20,000 from proceeds of Mamia baby wipe sales to PANDAS Foundation during Maternal Mental Health Week, helping fund vital, free and confidential support for parents and caregivers who need it.
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💫What helped you feel less lonely with a new baby?
Mothers are still being asked to carry the impossible.
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If you’ve ever found yourself asking, “What’s wrong with me?” in motherhood…
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This is an invitation to ask a different question - and rethink where the problem really sits.
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I’ve written more on this over on Substack this morning, including what gives me hope in mothering - link above.
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💜What has motherhood shown you - about yourself, or about the world you’re mothering in?
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#maternalmentalhealthawarenessweek
