WARNING: If you book Años for your next event, your baby mama will most likely show up and want to fight your side chick; patrons may find themselves throwing up gang signs and inciting violence. Women will aggressively start throwing ass, and men will begin to lean like a cholo, regardless of ethnicity or racial background. The event will begin to “crack off”; natives will become restless; it will suddenly become Modelo time no matter what time of day it is, and a random dog may show up.
Años is wanted in six states for slapping a whole litter of kittens. He has been arrested several times for drawing mustaches on pictures of people who don’t have mustaches, and we can confirm he farts on bratty children in public places and then walks away like nothing happened.
All in all, Años is one bad hombre, and it is advised that you call your local venues to let them know. He is armed and dangerous, he’s diabolical, and he must be stopped.
