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[25 Years of Straight Edge] First Contact // 2001 I don't really know what else to say this time around. It's been a quarter of a century. Another 5 years and reflecting on exhaustion and seeking rest and direction. You'll never know what it's like until you've arrived. No Fudgie the Whale cake this time, but when everything else in life's failed, this has been the longest running thing that I've ever been a part of - and nothing can change that fact. I wish you'd put up numbers like this one day too, even if you stumble along the way. That's all I got this time, stay well. 📸: [As Follows] 1) 2011-2012 [ish] 2) 2003 w/ Brett & King Edge 3) 2026 - The 5 Most Important Records 4) 2007 - Have Heart in Lake Grove, NY 5) 2006 - Invade & The Carrier Summer Weekender 6) 2009 - Burning Fight Fest in Chicago 7) 2022 - Firestorm on the South Shore 8) 2010 - Long Island Fest w/ Dan 9) 2014 - Annulment at ABC No Rio 10) 2022 Christmas Eve - 10 Quiet Pull Ups 11) 2001 - Teen Years [Colorized] 12) Grandpa's card drawing for my 12th birthday 13) 2024 - Award speech for grandpa at NYCC 14) 2023 - Ennui in Philadelphia 15) 2025 - Grael in Syracuse 16) 2024 - Me, Joe, and Straight Edge 17) 2007 - Hungarian Hall whiffle ball [indoors] I puked on the floor while we were playing and told nobody 18) 2023 - 70lbs. Dumbbells 19) 2026 - Tonight, after I celebrated before May 1st at the gym 20) 2026 - 3 hours ago, I'm starting to feel it. Joke's on everybody, I've been using box dye since my early 30s. Just haven't really felt like it lately. --- ✖️

📽️ [8mm film transfer & edit - 1958-1964] Our grandfather's family. Ozone Park. Staring into distant worlds that are undeniably close - the myths we imagined were not myths in the slightest. Everything happened in parallel to the geist of its time. [Happy New Year] [End]

Funny thing about memorials and familial shrines: they are effective whether you believe in external realities or not, in very much the same way tarot can be a game of deeply instilled psychology if you are turned off by or do not connect with the spiritual aspect of it. Thank you for being my anchor, instilling lessons I ignored in my youth, and still 'working', some 20 years later - which is anomalous in itself, whether or not there is anything after this. Often times I'm unsure, but I'm more and more comfortable not needing to 'know' and spending more time living and keeping myself open and not being offended or repelled by anyone acknowledging a different reality than my own. The ripple resonates deep and I find myself mimicking and internalizing your things and acts as an adult that I ignored when I was a kid. Getting older is not as bad as they make it out to be. The narrative is run by people who've given up and got tired too young and lost their fire for some keeping-up-with-the-jones' horseshit or the need to assimilate with peers doing a lot of the same. We all make choices. I don't miss you, though there was a long time where I did, but not because I would mind another dinner with you at the head of the table or sketching pictures on a humid back porch - rather I learn more about you everyday as I get older myself.