Finding My Way Back to the Beautiful…
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I think I am coming back to the world again. I…am not sure I knew I was still gone, to tell truth.
It’s poetry that’s done it…of course it is/was/will always be.
Hoping this is the (for really real)start of a regular project…one that asks and gives.
…and folks, I just listened to a bunch of poetry, so this is likely to get a bit purply-prosey, so either read on or just hit the link and press PLAY.
This audio was made back in October of 2019, from a poetry solicitation I made on Twitter. Just ahead of the pandemic hitting here 2-3 months later. Ahead of the 2020 election and all that has come after. There are friends and colleagues and strangers called out here because they sent in poems, including a beautiful and prescient contribution from Keith Sellon Wright, made all the more bittersweet by his sudden recent passing. And all these years later, I remain incredibly grateful to all those who sent bits of beauty when I asked for it. Y’all likely may not remember doing it, but thank you all the same.
Do you ever feel as if you’ve been in a twilight sleep, and come out to find more time and life and people and world has turned and passed and reverted and zoomed ahead that you can possibly account for? Well, pull your li’l rowboat up to mine and let us float along together in our emergence. The sea seems vast and lonely, until you realize we’re all out here in our boats together.
My husband and I have been talking recently about all this waiting and worrying and deliberating that we do before actually living, before believing in ourselves, before believing that we can choose something more beautiful, more joyous, more creative - before we can choose to actually LIVE this life.
I want this to be a real thing. I want my declaration that I AM HERE (albeitsoverymuchlaterthanintended), that I am DOING A THING to be true beyond this moment. Beyond this moment of emergence and listening and realizing and wondering and marveling. I guess…I need to make it real. So this is me making it real with a post 4.5 years after its creation.
…hell with it. Time to start living.
#poetry
Thanks @dreamscape_media@netgalley for the free audiobook.
✍️Jennifer van der Kleut
🗣️Xe Sands
(Full review on slides 3-4)
The Better Mother is a domestic thriller debut that’s been generating lots of buzz for its binge-worthy pacing, twisty, female‑against‑female tension & “The Hand That Rocks the Cradle” vibes!
The story follows Savannah Mitchell, a 34‑year‑old woman who’s slowly piecing her life back together after heartbreak—until she’s blindsided by a pregnancy from a fling with a man named Max. When she reaches out to tell him, she’s met with a positive reaction & the odd enthusiastic involvement of Max’s girlfriend, Madison. What starts as seemingly helpful gestures from Madison soon feel intrusive, controlling, & increasingly sinister.
The story is told entirely from Savannah’s POV. Her inner dialogue takes readers on an unhinged, nerve-wracking ride & her constant internal battle between keeping the peace & wanting to protect herself is a roller coaster of emotions! Her decision making feels real but infuriating, especially when she talks herself into giving Madison “one more chance” or ignores obvious red flags. The way she deals with threats to her autonomy & her unborn child will keep readers emotionally invested. Madison becomes the prime suspect for everything going wrong, but nothing is quite as it seems, and everyone around Savannah—Max, her friends, coworkers—behaves in ways that will make readers question their motives!
The pacing is relentless! By the midsection, Savannah is second-guessing herself constantly, & every choice feels high-stakes. The climax delivers heart-pounding, over-the-top suspense that will have readers flipping pages like crazy—and you’ll need to suspend disbelief at some decisions characters make. The ending feels a bit rushed, but it still delivers a satisfying sense of justice that popcorn-thriller fans will love!
Anyone who enjoys stories that pull you into a character’s anxiety-filled mind & make you question everyone’s motives should add this to their list ASAP!
💬QOTD: Heard of this book? Sound like something you’d read?‼️⁉️A book rec about motherhood (any genre)?‼️⁉️Last book added to your NG shelf or TBR?
...found this shot I took in Fall '24 maybe?...of the morning high tide down at the scrap of public beach near my parents' place. And couldn't help wondering if you would still find yourself where you started out if you descended those stairs...and stepped into the water. And if you did descend, and step into that water right there at the bottom of those submerged steps, and you turned around... would the steps still be there?
#tides #hightide #ocean #beaches #driftwood #submechaniphobia
Sometimes it feels like the trees out this way are just screaming at me to pay attention...
#trees #visceralphotography #visceral #gotmyattention #forestphotography #forest #treephotography #filteredforest #filteredphoto #fantasyforest #darkforest
Didn't realize we were sharing our camp with a sleepy eldritch horror...
...I see a rather beautiful & sinister ...elephant?...how about you?
#eldritchhorror #creepytrees #forest #forestphotography #forestbeauty #treeportrait
😷The Graceview Patient by Caitlin Starling
Thank you @minotaurbooks & @macmillan audio for my free copies.
Narrator: Xe Sands
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As someone with chronic illness and medical conditions, I was hoping to see myself represented here and I DID! The tedium, fear, lack of control and the struggle to accept what is happening to your body, were all present and accounted for in spades! I could RELATE to Margaret. She’s so desperate to have some semblance of a normal life that she’s willing to undergo a DANGEROUS experimental drug trial just for a CHANCE it could improve her life. I get it.
Caitlin Starling absolutely NAILED what it’s like to live with a debilitating chronic illness/condition including the monotony and the way hope and hopelessness are desperately entangled together on any given day. I kept waiting for the drug to have some profound effect on Margaret, either devastatingly horrid or wonderfully rejuvenating. The tedium of Margaret’s everyday life began to get to me and maybe that’s the point. The spiral of sanity and reality DO lead up to something quite horrifying, but by the time we got there, I was just plain old tired (like Margaret) and had lost most of my investment. Still, the creepy and isolated hospital environment along with the various suspicious characters was enough to keep me flipping pages right to the end!
Xe Sands narrates the audiobook and she was excellent at conveying the exasperation, confusion, doubt, hopelessness, fear, resignation, and ultimately unending hope. In addition, there was a tired and almost dreamlike quality to her performance which fit Margaret’s fatigue and desperation.
THE GRACEVIEW PATIENT is an unrelenting psychological horror amidst a gothic setting that lays bare desperation, paranoia, doubt and being unable to trust your own mind. It’s terrifying in its own right. Grab this one if you enjoy an unreliable narrator and not knowing whom to trust!
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⁉️Midweek checkin: how are you? Or, what’s something that you’re sick of?🤭
#TheGraceViewPatient #HorrorBooks #MinotaurBooks #PsychologicalHorrorBooks #AudiobookReview #Audiobookstagram #HorrorFamily #GothicBooks #MacAudio2025
I’m so excited to reveal that the #audiobooknarrator for THE BETTER MOTHER will be the immensely talented @xesands !
Xe has performed narration for several top thriller audiobooks including Alafair Burke’s THE WIFE, JH Markhert’s SPIDER TO THE FLY, Chuck Wendig’s THE STAIRCASE IN THE WOODS, Darby Kane’s PRETTY LITTLE WIFE, and the forthcoming THE PERFECT HOSTS by Heather Gudenkauf. I’m so excited for her to bring to life the characters from THE BETTER MOTHER.
The audiobook, produced by @dreamscape_media , is scheduled to be released on February 10th, the same day as the physical and digital books.
Visit the links in my b10 to preorder my debut novel or to add it to your Want to Read list on @goodreads !
#bookstagram #booksbooksbooks #bibliophile #addictedtobooks #addictedtoreading #authorlife #thrillerbooks #audiobooks #narratorreveal
🕷️🪰Spider to the Fly by J.H. Markert
Narrators: Wayne Mitchell, Xe Sands, and Vanessa Moyen
Huge thank you to #partner @crookedlanebooks & @spotifyforauthors for my gifted copies.
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FIVE STAR ALERT
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Though told through three distinct POVs, there was a lot going on with several characters and story arcs to keep track of which kept my mind spinning just the way I like it. A prolific serial killer on the loose for YEARS responsible for dozens of bodies?! A true crime element with a website to help identify victims? Twins coming out of the woodwork? SAY. LESS!
I will always enjoy wild and deranged stories as long as there are aspects that seem somewhat plausible and this fit the bill. I could absolutely see some of the horrifying aspects of this story playing out in real life. Did it go off the rails? Well, yes. Did I love every minute of it? Also yes! The pacing was beyond intense and I couldn’t put this sucker down til I finished.
I did a combo read with the audiobook and all the narrators were fantastic! Not gonna lie, Wayne Mitchell did such a fabulous job he freaked me out a little. I couldn’t listen before bed!
J.H. Markert is a master at riding the line of horror, without actually crossing it. SPIDER TO THE FLY is a dark, disturbing and twisted serial killer tale infused with a true crime vibe. It’s thrilling, macabre and a little deranged, which is what Markert excels at! If he writes it, I’m gonna read it and expect some sheer insanity. If you’re a fan of police procedurals, intense games of cat and mouse and crazy family secrets, then you’re gonna LOVE this one!
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⁉️What outdoor games did you play as a child?
‼️AOTD: Tag, Red Light, Green Light (NOT the Squid Games version 😆) & Red Rover
#JamesMarkert #SpiderToTheFly #ThrillerBooks #FiveStarRead #BiblioPeeks 2025 new dark and twisted crime fiction books mystery thriller book recs recommendations audiobook review
Thanks @netgalley@crookedlanebooks for the audiobook.
📖Spider To The Fly
✍️J.H. Markert
🎙️Xe Sands, Vanessa Moyen, Wayne Mitchell
(See slides 3-4 for Full Review)
Spider to the Fly is a serial killer thriller that combines true crime obsession, repressed memory, & family drama. The novel follows Ellie Isles, who becomes fixated on the unsolved “I-64 murders,” after she learns that one of the killer’s victims looks exactly like her. The serial killer, known as the “Spider,” leaves victims unidentified, and Ellie builds an online network to help identity them. Ellie’s is pulled into the police investigation, especially after her therapist is arrested as a suspect.
The book has a large cast of characters, several of whom are mentioned rather than given page time—keeping track of everyone & their relationships can be confusing. It’s not a bad idea to create your own murder board for clarity & more immersion!
Ellie Isles is a complex protagonist who’s a two sided coin—on one side she has trauma, repressed memories, & inner conflict that keep her stuck, and on the other she’s determined & proactive, hunting down the killer. Readers will find it difficult to find one dull moment in her POV as her inner monologues, conversations with her daughter/police/reporters, and emotional decision making her very captivating. True crime fans will love Ellie’s online true crime community, especially as it plays a role in finding the killer!
The fast-paced narrative, shifting POVs, dual timeline, & many reveals will keep readers turning pages. In the 2nd half, the story becomes a whoddunit, with several characters looking guilty. Once all the complex character connections fall into place, the story becomes more enjoyable. After such an intricate story, the final confrontation feels a bit rushed & the last chapter doesn’t quite match the intensity of the rest of the story—but there is satisfying closure that readers will enjoy!
Readers who love twisty serial killer thrillers, true crime, & complex, emotionally driven characters will enjoy this book!
💬QOTD: Read this book? On TBR?‼️⁉️Listen to podcasts or a fan of true crime?‼️⁉️PT: “The Spider serial killer…”
...what the other camera saw, but I still did not. Saw what my phone lens captured and...that gritty light filtering in, with the staircase looming darkly...
#unexpectedart #happenstance #ruins #abandonedplaces #oldwindow #beautifuldecay #lightandshadow
I am fascinated by #staircases...and unbearably so by those I cannot actually reach, or in the case of this derelict beauty, can't actually see.
...I stood outside, *knowing* the staircase was there but not being able to see it, to reach it...but the camera could...through an unintentional sliver of a portal created by a cracked bit of window...but only the camera...I had no idea what it was capturing, if anything.
...later that night, after downloading what my ancient itty bitty Lumix captured, I audibly gasped when I found this photo...Hello Staircase, you gorgeous, forgotten thing...
#abandoned #abandonedplaces #ruins #forgottenplaces
