yesterday was such a good day
finally seeing my favourite musical live, didn’t think that would ever happen, and just a lovely day out with great company! thank you to ray and casey for making this the best day!
For Selective Mutism awareness month this year, I wanted to actually make a post because: 1. It’s something that has— and still is— a big part of my my life
And 2. Growing up I never met, or saw anyone else who struggled with it.
Selective Mutism, sometimes called Situational Mutism, is an anxiety-based mental health disorder which usually commences in early childhood. People with this diagnosed often struggles to talk to people in certain situations. It’s different for everyone where and when. One child might speak very well with adults, but struggle with other children— or vice versa. While some might struggle in general with new people. It’s important to note that people with Selective Mutism does not choose to not speak, but are unable to do so. Often times you do want to speak, but there’s a block.
I’ve been struggling with talking to people I wasn’t close with since kindergarten, and got diagnosed in 4th grade (around then). And as a kid I got a lot of “why don’t you speak?” “Just say a word” “we don’t bite” “he can speak for himself” comments, which brings me to one of the reason I wanted to make this post. For me, I was many teachers first time hearing about Selective Mutism. A lot of teachers was not able to understand I physically couldn’t speak. Which made it very difficult for me at school, and put me in a lot of uncomfortable situations.
My selective mutism has gotten better over the years, but suddenly it kicks in again. Often in new and unfamiliar situations.
However I want to highlight things I’ve accomplished over the years, the big and the small things (as what might seem small to someone without any anxiety diagnoses is a pretty big step for someone with one). Every little thing is a step forward.
Looking at it, I’ve come a far way. From now starting conversations to moving to a completely new country to study. Looking back, I’m so proud I’ve finally made it💪 there’s still things to overcome, but I’m now able to put myself in those situations. It takes a lot, and it’s not as easy to do as to say. But just remember to not beat yourself up too much if you can’t do something right now🙌💛 This post is to all the “what if” scenarios
