Happy Valentines Day <3 I am posting my two new demos on various sites today. (Streaming sites will have them later). They’re demos because I didn’t want them to be perfect, and one day I will record them with a band. I just thought sharing them would make me feel better about today, and I think that’s probably true.
Both of these songs describe feelings that I’ve felt many times over during the course of my life. Although, even more acutely over the past year or so. Longing for love and care from other people, and how being described as sweet by them turns you into something consumable. Leaves you feeling less than whole. Alssooo thank you to Isaiah for the pics and to Peter for helping me mix. <3
Today Peter and I are releasing our first single as Mercurial Girl :) this is the first track on our upcoming EP “The Mercurial World” (we don’t have a release date yet sooorrrryy). I started writing this song during the first year of Jason’s cancer. I was learning how fragile life is. I would go on long cold walks in the beginning of the spring after his surgery and feel like I was in a dream. Crying at the flowers poking through the frozen ground. I am so happy to be here. Even though things don’t turn out the way we want them to be. Thanks for making this with me Peter <3 I love you
(Can you guess which anime we sampled from?)
Hi <3 I have a show next Saturday, May 23 as a part of Kabaret Kareta @kareta.kollektiv ! I like using this Mitski song to warm up my lower register. Love y’all ❤️
I posted this from the computer... This photo is from something I wont say more about. What I will say is that I am opening for the @bellcaveband single release show with @bgblnd at @night_club_101 <3 come early if you wanna see me <3
It is the last day of my trip. I miss Jason just as much as I did when I left, but now I feel less helpless and scared. I am still scared, but i am not helpless. There are so many amazing people in the world waiting to love and be loved. Even more amazing things to see and experience. Thank God for that. ❤️
Me singing Silly Game at @chateau_orquevaux thank you to @kimvhyatt for the video ❤️ performing is feeling really good these days :) this song is going to be on the @mercurialgirl.mp3 EP when we finally release it ❤️❤️❤️
Today is Jason and I’s wedding anniversary and it is also the last day of my walk on the Chemin de Puy. I started writing this song a couple of months ago while thinking about not only Jason but my father, and a man who helped raise me named Robert. I was starting to understand what it must have been like for him, dating a widow and taking care of her child. He was making the best of a bad situation. If there is one thing I have learned on the Chemin it is that we all have our own versions of my reasons for writing this song, but life often gets in the way of our ability to be there for ourselves and each other. I have decided today, to call this song “the cross,” as a nod to the suffering we all endure in this life. I hope you like it. ❤️
Today is my thirtieth birthday! What’s most surprising to me about today is that it feels like when I turned sixteen or eighteen or twenty one. Waking up, it felt like a Christmas morning and my gift is making it to an age that is supposed to mean something.
I fumbled my way through my twenties. That’s normal I think, but I could never shake the feeling that I was doing everything so much more slowly than my peers. I have always been a late bloomer. I lost my last tooth in eighth grade. Lately, I have been doing cyanotype experiments again. I say experiments because so often, they fail. That’s the thing about art, though, and life I think, it has only failed when you decide to give up on it. Setbacks may slow down the pace, but they do not determine the value of the art. The mistakes I make in the process are part of the finished product. They help shape my life, my art, and me.
My life so far, as you probably know, has had its challenges, but it hasn’t given up on me yet. I hate to say it that way when I know that life did not give up on Jason. What I mean is this: I am still alive. Life is hard as a gift, as a lesson, as an experience. There will be many more moments of pain, and there will be hope. I will be there to witness it all with love. I will try.
