One year ago i had the honour to teach and perform amongst a crew of incredible researchers of dance beyond the borders that define them.
@proudnerddonna ,
@fernando_anuanga and
@orlyportal being among them.
To say that this event changed my life is an understatement. It peaked, exploded even, the need to radicalize even more how personal this dance path in my life is. Although i always have been painstakingly personal in my research, there were aspects of it that kept on being influenced by voices that weren't mine, aspects of duty, of sacrifice, of adherence to form and style, or even "acting as" the expectation that you build for yourself. Hearing these artists talk was illuminating: almost everyone went through a "crisis" where they had to reform deeply their practice to meet themselves more closely, through freedom, listening, simplicity, enjoyment, sincerity, responsibility, and many other things.
I was at the peak of a burnout i tried to ignore for months that was slowly eating me up and after the festival i decided to stop dancing. Completely stop. For one month i never danced nor trained. This was a forbidden thing for me. A Taboo. To not dance meant to do the Wrong Thing par excellence as a dancer. But i needed to feel it, to be "wrong". Then i danced once and no more for weeks and that dance was so sensitive, like all the skin shouted. Then i started reintroducing studying and trained more, but in secret, it had no business with anyone except myself. Then I filmed so many trainings, so many impros i chose to keep to myself, even the post-quality ones or the better-than-ever ones. And slowly i came back to teaching and travelling to dance.
I needed this time as a reminder, maybe a necessary, cyclical one, that the Duty is the one of the door on the inside, the one of the call beyond.
There's no real before/after this break: i see myself here and i recognize everything that i desire to reach. Just the infinite infinite infinite skin shedding that this artform forever asks, until we're only channel
Thankyou
@crossings_festival and my beloved
@isabeldelorenzo and
@nensimilia
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#violetscrap #fusionbellydance #movementresearch
