We were sitting on the couch and watched a series on the tv. Nessie lay next to me and I was petting her as I usually do when I felt itā¦ a hard lump on her neck. It was the size of a grape. Just sitting there. I donāt know why but I knew, then and thereā¦ I just knew. Yesterday (21 September) it was confirmed, Nessie has lymphoma. A cancer in her blood cells. As of now we donāt really anything more and weāll meet an oncologist on 25th of September.. what we do know is that itās non curable. So thereās that. Iām trying to make it make sense but I just canāt. I just canāt understand why she wonāt get to stay. It doesnāt make sense. Fuck cancer.
I also want so say that Iāve seen and read all your comments on these previous posts but given the circumstances canāt bring myself to reply, but I want to say thank you for your support and everything. It means a lot, truly ā¤ļø
Itās been a complete nightmare. First we lost Rocka and not even 3 weeks after, on 31th of August, I found a grape sized, hard lump on Nessies neck. Given its location and everything we knew it could mean lymphomaā¦ an incurable type of cancer. We had it tested on September the 2nd and they couldnāt really say what it was or if it was benign or malignant and referred us to another clinic for further testing. By chance we quickly got an appointment at the same clinic that took care of her when she had her chylothorax. By then she had 4 new, smaller lumps pop up and another one on/in her chest. We were scheduled for an ultrasound but it got changed the same day to a abdomen, chest and neck CT-scan instead so we could really check her whole bodyā¦ so on Thursday (5th of September) last week she had her 5th CT as well as some cell samples. On 7th of September we got the result back. The good news from that scan is that what they couldnāt find any tumors inside her or any sign of metastatic cancer. Bad news is that they confirmed she has 2 prominent swollen lymph nodes - the one on her neck and one on/in her chest as well as some fluids in her chest cavity. And the result from the samples said the same as beforeā¦. They donāt know what it is or if itās bad or good. Today (9th of September) she had a surgery to fully remove the swollen node on her neck so it can be analyzed and hopefully give us some answers. It can still very much be lymphoma as I suspected as soon as I felt the lumpā¦ lymphoma would mean that with treatment she could get approx 1 year. Without weāre talking weeks or possible up to 2-3 monthsā¦ if weāre lucky. Thereās no cure and it would mean Nessie wonāt be with us to grow old. Sheās only 3 years and almost 6 months oldā¦ itās unthinkable, given everything sheās been through and how hard we have fought to keep her alive, that this might be it. Weāre so completely devastated and just completelyā¦ drained. We wish nothing but for her to be able to stay butā¦ we donāt now. Right now weāre just trying to make it through each day and enjoy every single moment with her as we donāt know how long sheāll still be here. Our sweet, wonderful Nessie šš
Rocka. My heart and soul-dog, my once in a lifetime, my ride or dieā¦ the one we jokingly (but with a grain of truth) called āour best dogā. The kindest, goofiest, sweetest. For just above 11 years we never ever spent a single day apart from each otherā¦. 4028 days straight. And now Iāve spent 23 days without her. This is the hardest post Iāve ever done and Iāve put it off but with everything thatās going on right now with Nessie, that deserves a post of its own, I felt that itās timeā¦ 12th August 2025 we had the most wonderful day. Rocka, being allergic to chicken, ate chicken nuggets for the first time ever. She had a cheeseburger and waded in water and we sat by a lake delivering her all the treats she could possibly want and finished off with a āprincess cakeāā¦ A section of her uterus wasnāt draining and the only option was to have surgeryā¦ after everything sheās been through I promised her she was done, no more surgeries and no more pain. No more. And I kept that promise and chose to let her go. She was 11 years and almost 5 months and has been affected by degenerative myopathy for years, it had affected her lungs for a little over a year as well as all four legs and tail. Her body was tired. She was however still happy, full of life, had no pain and wasnāt suffering.. it never got to that point and Iām forever grateful for the extra days we were givenā¦ for the extra years. We have been battling cancer these past three or four years, we never thought or could even dream off getting all the time together that we got. Somehow I donāt feel sheās fully gone either because I can still feel herā¦ just as I started to write this the ice cream truck started to sound its melody. A melody Rocka for some reason took personal offense in. She would freeze and start to howl even if we so much as hummed the melody to her. A howl that was silent these past months due to DM. A part of her will always be with me and a part of me will always be with her. āThis is not farewell this is only good byeā. I will miss you until we meet again, my love ā¤ļøš
Our last few days has beenā¦ eventful to say the least. A veterinarian tried to convince us to put Rocka to sleep and it was a traumatic and horrible experienceā¦ thankfully we advocated for her and even if everything isnāt fine and it can change quickly sheās still with us for now. Iāve written everything about it down but it was too long to fit here soā¦ swipe if you want to read it.
Hopefully we have many more days to come with her as sheās still her normal, happy self but weāre so aware it can change at anytime in a heartbeat. Weāre just taking it day by day, enjoying the kindest, sweetest dog to ever walk the earth ā¤ļø
October 30th 2024 we had to leave Nessie in the ICU not knowing if weād ever get to see her alive againā¦ that day we were given the option to put her to sleep and in the days to follow it was given as an option every single day. She almost didnāt make it that first day, they had to breathe for herā¦ every breath should ventilate around 10-15 mL/kg. Weighing almost 30kg as Nessie did means every breath should be around 300mL at least, hers was approx 60mL. Enough to sustain a dog with a weight of 3kg. She was dying. The first days she had 24/7 watch and was very critical.. her chances of surviving was regarded as very slim. And so after 9 days in the ICU we got to take her home. Still not knowing if she would survive this whole ordeal. We often wondered if we made the right callā¦. If we should had let her go. Multiple CT-scans, x-rays, throcentetsis, oxygen therapy, ultrasounds, catheters in each legs, countless blood tests, lung drains, a huge surgery, complications, inflammation in her leg, blood clots, antibiotics, pain medication, medicine for the clots, medicine for nutrition deficiency, special dietary, several ointments, being shaved, sedated, poked and prickedā¦ not being allowed to run.. so many visits to the veterinary clinic and so many callsā¦ A phone overflowing with videos of her breathing, counting breaths, sleepless nights, so many tears, worry and heartache but also happiness and gratefulness that sheās still here. Completely financial drainage and a life put on holdā¦ A third birthday celebration, her first heat, going from 24kgs to almost 31kgs. Her fur almost completely grown outā¦ Almost 6 months in a constant state of unknowingā¦.. and today, 17th April 2025, we got the sure answers, idiopathic chylothorax with blood clots as a complication. We will never know why she got it but the surgery seems to have cured the condition so farā¦ thereās sadly always a risk for reoccurrenceā¦ But as today sheās considered done with all treatments and free to live as she did before. Almost 6 months and weāre done. Weāll celebrate with going to the dog park and let her run and play off-leash for the first time in 6 months. She made it. She fucking made it ā¤ļø
Radio silence for a whileā¦. We have been busy and exhausted š« About a week after the surgery Nessie had lots of fluid in her chest and it seemed like the operation was a failure and about 3 weeks after the surgery they wanted to take samples from the fluid and found that she almost completely dried upā¦. By then we thought that maybe the fluid after the surgery was due to inflammation which is totally normal after such a huge surgery. We were sent home with the next vet visit being scheduled to be in January (this was in December). The day before Christmas we thought she might be filling up again since her breathing was really off but found out she was completely dryā¦.. yesterday we had the first visit with Nessie in about 3 weeks time or so and she was still COMPLETELY DRY!!! š„³ The surgery seems to have been a total success on her and they managed to stop the leakage of chyle šā¤ļø this means weāll in 10 days start investigating if thereās something wrong with her blood that caused all these issues! Progress, yayyy!
It still feels so surreal that we went from her almost dying to her actually still being with usā¦. She was in such a rough shape and almost died (they had to manually breathe for her) and her prognosis was so bad but sheās still here. She fought and survived! Sheās now 100% back to being herself again WITH the same amount of energy as before! Sheās still not allowed to run freely due to her medications which sucks butā¦. Weāll see what all the investigations into her blood clot issues ends up in. Sheās also almost back up to her regular weight and her fur has started to come back. Sheās truly a real fighter and somewhat a living miracle š„¹ā¤ļø
Sheās home on a leave from the ICU š„¹
She was so happy when she saw us and is happy to be back home. Tired but content. The problem she had with her leg sorted itself outā¦ a nurse had given her fluids with a long catheter on that leg and she simply forgot to document it (it happens so no hard feelings!) so the swelling and limping was related to that, such a relief š„¹ weāll go back tomorrow to the vet clinic and hopefully everything will be good still š„¹ā„ļø itās so insane to imagine that just two days ago they had her chest open and they were āmessing aroundā with her heart and lungs and now sheās back home, laying on her very much beloved carpet in our hallway like she always do š± Weāre so very thankful for everything, that sheās still here with usā¦ thank each one of you who have showed us support in these hellish times ā„ļø hopefully weāre at the end of this nightmare but only time will tellā¦
Post-op day 2, Nessie is doing well back at the ICU! Her breathing is good, sheās eating, have energy and her pain is well managed! ā„ļø After the operation she was back at having thoracic drains again and they kept pulling a lot of air and very little fluid when they drained the chest. With ultrasounds they can see she has almost no (if any?) fluids in her lungs and they didnāt seem to be collapsed so they did a normal x-ray to confirm this. The drain had been placed/had moved in such a way that it wasnāt closed off and the air came from outside of her body and not inside so they pulled them. Sheās now drain free and free of fluids in her lungs! š„¹ā„ļøā„ļø
However she has a swelling in her right front leg. She have had a thrombosis and an inflammation in her vein there after her first round in the ICU. This was from having a vein access thereā¦ but now the swelling was over that site. She was also limping! š They had an orthopedic look at it and they canāt find whatās wrong, it seems to be some kind of fluid there but they donāt know why so thatās a bit scaryā¦ right now all they can do is to monitor it and just to be sure sheāll go back on one of her two blood thinners again. Tomorrow theyāll start the other one too. We are well aware that the there was risks with taking her off them but the risk of her bleeding out during surgery was higher so she had to be taken off them. Considering the surgery and everythingā¦. So far so good! ā„ļø
She still has a gofundme up (thank you to everyone one whoā donated ā„ļø), weāll be able to take a private loan and be but into debt to cover the expanses of her being sick but if youāre able and willing it would help out a lot with even the smallest donation or spreading the word! Link can be found in my bio!
#borzoi #chylothorax #chylothoraxdogs #chylothoraxdog #postop
Tomorrow itās due date for Nessies huge surgery. Not gonna lie - Iām feeling super anxious and worried. I know they have planed the surgery into the smallest detail and there will be more than one surgeon operating. But the thought of them going into her chest, putting her in a ventilator, removing the sack around the heart and justā¦ ugh. Sheās also off the anticoagulants nowā¦ so many things could go wrong and I canāt even handle the thought of her not making it through this. The success rate is fair and sheās a good candidate in their opinion but what if it doesnāt work?! That thought scares me tooā¦ or if sheāll have any complicationsā¦ sheās been her happy self again since we had to go in for a drainage 26/11 and as reassuring that sheāll recover that is, it also makes it harder to think sheāll be worse off again before possibly getting better. Sheāll also spend at least 2 days in the ICU again. I just want her homeā¦ healthy and home. She doesnāt deserve any of this! She deserves to be happy and healthy and I hope this will be the last thingā¦ the thing that heals her. Anyway, please keep her in your thoughts tomorrow and cross your fingers for a successful surgery š„ŗā„ļø
We still have a gofundme open for her, if youāre willing and able please consider donating. If youāre not able to donate, please consider spreading the word. We already have gotten a lot of donations (thank you ā„ļø) but weāll still be forced to take a loan to be able to afford this surgery. Itās estimated that this whole ordeal end up costing us around 340.000SEK/$31000/ā¬30000/Ā£24500. That is without complications.We have already drained all our savings, sold all stocks and founds. Her insurance is maxed out at 53000SEK. Itās rough but sheās worth it ā„ļøš The link can be found in my bio.
#chylothoraxdogs #chylothorax #chylothoraxdog #borzoi
We had a week where she was being herself againā¦ it was amazing but we still knew it could turn at any momentā¦ these past two days or so we felt she started to slowly decline. She was a little more tired, had a little harder to breathe and her respiratory rate went up a bit (from 16 to 18-20). So we went back to the veterinary clinic today and from having around 3cm of fluids in her lungs it was now up to 6-7cm. In about 8 days. They sedated and drained her. 450ml in total. So after we had a good week, a normal week, weāre now facing surgery. Sheāll have to come off her blood thinners and thatās really scary and the surgery is scary as hell. Sheāll be a high risk patient. We will discuss more with her main veterinarian on Thursday about everything around the surgery, weāve been told around 80% of the dogs that had the surgery will be healthy again but weāre not really sure whatās the prognosis is in Nessies case. Hopefully this can be what heals herā¦ it just has to because the other option is unthinkable.
However, this also means weāre facing another huge cost (120 000-140 000SEK / 10900 - 12757USD), hence weāre asking everyone whoās able and willing to donate to her gofundme or spread the word. Even the smallest amount helps out so much. To everyone whoās already donated, thank you from the bottom of our hearts. We love our Nessie so much and the thought of loosing her is unbearable. šā„ļø All information about all our costs are listed on her gofundme, as well as receipts. Hereās the link: /f/ghjbgvj
Itās also linked in my bio.
#borzoi #chylothoraxdogs #chylothorax
Sheās still on leave from the vet clinic with a daily ultrasound to check the fluid level in her chest. Yesterday evening she started to breathe a little more forced for an hour or two, we consulted a vet and she said it could wait until the morning and she stopped after a while and seemed ok. After todayās ultrasound they drained 90ml fluids but had to stop because she was uncomfortable. Tomorrow they might sedate her and drain as much as possibleā¦ this morning we saw a glimpse of her former self but mostly sheās tired and seems depressed. Iām trying to tell myself sheās still sick, sheās not only fighting the chylothorax but also an inflammation in her chest and lung sack as well as an infection from where the drain was.. along with a thrombosis.. but Iām worried. Sheās still active and happy on walks and when thereās food around but other than that she mostly wants to sleepā¦ i just wish this nightmare could end and for her to be back to her normal self, itās comforting in seeing glimpse of it butā¦ ugh. I hate seeing her like this šā„ļø
