The passage of time // Knowing every version
(Swipe for OLD pictures of us in front of the same river! We were 19 and 18 respectively in them)
I got the beautiful opportunity to visit Nederland, CO with my family today and reflect before I move back home with my housemates in a little over a week. It made me feel incredibly fond and reminiscent. I would be lying if I didnāt get emotional.
I remember it was one of the first places I went to in CO with Wolfie when I was first starting to visit and see him. To have the chance to go again right before our move to the east coast together was nothing short of perfect. I could not have asked for a better day. Talk about full circle; what a lovely way to close this chapter of our lives.
Saying goodbye to this state has been easy. I miss my home state and am grateful to be returning. But, there will always be memories here I hold dear to my heart. So hereās to hoping for more fond memories in this next journey.
If I could write all I want to, all the things that being together for what will be 6 years in April (and knowing each other even longer than that) brings, my fingers would wear down to the bone before I could ever even come close. But I will still try.
You, Wolfine Maria, the Kirk to my Spock, the Sonic to my Shadow, the Duck to my Rose, have been a constant, shining light in my life that dims for absolutely nothing. You are the reason I survived into my twenties. The reason why, even when things are so bad that it feels like the world is collapsing around me, it still pales in comparison to the sheer joy you bring to me. You are the reason I have chosen time and time again to live. The reason I WANT to live, to grow old.
You have the most beautiful soul I have ever had the privilege of knowing. You match my complexity in every regard, allow me to explore things I never couldāve hoped to on my own, encourage me to grow and flourish. Help me leave behind things that do not serve me, and have the strength to do so. Are the only person I have allowed myself to be unapologetically genuine around, and who has accepted it with open arms. Never with you have I felt the need out of shame to change parts of myself to be more palatable.
You are the missing piece I didnāt know I was searching for my entire existence until I found it. The Greek myth of soulmates is something I never believed in before knowing you, but you truly are my other half in every way. When we are apart, I genuinely feel as if I am missing a vital organ. I know in my bones that I have known you since the beginning of time, and I will know you until the end. In every life past, present, and future, I have loved and will love you.
No words exist that will ever be able to express just how much you mean to me. I never feel lucky, but you are my four leaf clover. Finding you out of 8 billion people was like winning the lottery, if that meant being able to hold the universe in your hands and know that it would never belong to anyone else. Youāre my world. Saying I love you will never come close to enough, but I will say it anyways, as many times as it takes.
I love you.
