Spooky Lady. π¦
Pen Pal since '95. π
Stationery π€er.
Crafty.
Gamer.
Aging swamp witch with a young heart.
Some of all but mostly mail, food and pets.
My mom brought me a stack of cards I'd been mailed after Chris passed away. Inside the pile was a letter I'd written to a pen pal and never mailed. I thought I had mailed it so I was surprised to see it. Even after nearly 11 yrs i remember writing it but not the contents. I opened it and found some of the first stickers I'd ever made. Reading the letter was surreal. Seeing the person I was before Chris died. The letter was dated June 15, 2015..2 days before the night of his passing (June 18, 2015 at midnight) and I was discussing the second book of Game of Thrones, playing Animal Crossing with pen pals, The Witcher and lamenting not having alone time because I was caring for Chris post surgery and not having gone on a vacation in 4 years. My life before Chris' loss, before Daisy, Toby or Bowser. Just Chris and I in a tiny home in the woods. It feels so far from where I am now in every way. Like someone else's life. I wonder how that pen pal is doing now. She was one of many I lost after losing Chris, though this one was def. my fault! :(
Writing letters and making decoden top loader keychains to keep my mind and hands busy. β‘ Not too bad for first time creations. Now I will fall into a decoden hyperfixation hobby. π€ͺ
On 3-14, my sweet Daisy girl crossed the rainbow bridge after just shy of 12 wonderful years. My Instagram account is so old that, if you scroll far enough, you see the entirety of her precious little life.
A little under 12 years ago, my coworker at the bank I worked for at the time was giving away puppies. That's when I fell in love with her. Her black and tan markings made me smile. I asked my partner at the time, should we get a dog? We wanted a family some day. We thought raising a puppy together would be great practice for being parents. So the next day, we collected our new baby. We named her Daisy. We got 6 wonderful months as a family. Then, as most of you know, in 2015 my partner Chris passed away suddenly from an embolism.
I was alone, except for little Daisy. I cried every ounce of my grief into her soft fur. She never shifted. She waited as long as I needed. I shared my pizza crusts with her, cuddled her over movies, made sure I got up every morning for her, even when she chewed up all my expensive shoes, I still loved her. Because of her I navigated my grief and built a new life for myself. I took her on trips to Florida and she became such an intertwined part of my every day life. Because of her, my home was never empty...and every routine in my day to day, every plan, was centered around her care and her comfort. She fixed me when I was absolutely broken. I owed her a good life. I promised her.
When I met my now partner in 2017, she immediately fell in love with him, and him with her. They had 9 wonderful years of bonding and love. She was as much his girl as she was mine.
I cried into her fur one last time that Saturday, as I told her I loved her and thanked her for an amazing life together. She left peacefully in my arms. She held on just long enough for us to be there, my partner holding her gaze and me her little body. I know she's probably traversing the great beyond with Chris now, free from pain.
My grief from her loss is immeasurable, but I would do it again. She was worth every moment of heartache and every tear.
Thank you for 12 wonderful years my sweet Daisy girl. James and I will always cherish you. Rest in paradise. β‘
