⚡️DR.EM pt.1/3! ❤️🩹
I wanted to wrap my head around how powerful EMDR has been for me. It’s exciting to begin to see the fruits of years of trauma therapy :) Hugs to all adoptees, wherever you are in your healing journey 🌸
Therapy has gotten crazy these days. In this mini comic, Alison enters a futuristic Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy pod and traces her day-to-day stress through her bodily memory back to her original trauma: being abandoned by her birth family in China as a newborn. In this tender space, she offers herself what she needed as a newborn and finds new compassion for her adoptive mother.
Originally created for the Chinese Adoptee Cookbook (thank u @maddogdiggittydog !) and currently on view in @svamfaillustration ‘s Book Show at the Gramercy Gallery.
💌 Part 1: Oh man, what do I even say about this. I guess, that THIS is what I want to do. I took a comics class this summer and someone must have sprinkled some magic dust on us because I have never felt so treasured and nurtured, but most importantly, liberated and celebrated being me. I get emotional just thinking back on it, but my teachers and classmates created a truly healing space that I can’t even begin to express how grateful I am. Holding this little comic in my hands brings me so much pride and tells me that I can, and need to, keep on going ♥️. Much love to you all!
Part 2 coming later today!
Now available at Quimby’s for a lucky $8 :) 🐷
#adoption #comics #trauma
❤️🩹 Final interview with the Changzhou local news. We had just visited the orphanage where I saw documents stating I was found on the side of the road. I had never seen these before. I choked back tears when I was in the orphanage, but couldn’t once I got out to the reporter.
The kicker is that after the interview, I learned that the info on my papers is likely falsified and I came from somewhere else. 1) My finding information is very vague. Which road? Found by who? 2) We learned from villagers that the one child policy here was very strict and there weren’t many over-quota babies. Sadly, this opens the door to some of the ugliest sides of adoption: trafficking, selling, kidnapping, etc. These stories are all too common for adoptees—I just didn’t want to think that they could be mine. I barely cried on this trip (yay dissociation), but grappling with this possibility, that I was unwanted and commodified, that my humanity was not fought for, was the lowest point of the trip. There’s even more I hated about this orphanage visit, but I’ll save it for a comic ;)
Thank you to my friends who reminded me that I am loved and wanted and celebrated 🌱🫶 yall mean the complete world to me and I heal because of you. I hope everyone can know such surrounding compassion like this 🥹
And thank you to Sarah, Lan, and Brian for your expertise. Your care. You fought for me. ♥️ If you are an adoptee looking to search, email [email protected]
To my birth family: I love you. Let the search continue :)
#adoption #birthfamilysearch #chineseadoption #chineseadoptee #chineseamerican
last day in china ❤️🩹 i have barely begun to process what this trip means, but one thing i know for sure is that the dogs have always been here for me. when i was dissociated they connected me to my feelings, and when i was at a low point they brought me pure joy. with no language barrier, they showed me kindness and trust in a complicated world.
🐕 so here’s to my favorite street dogs. the ones who gradually opened up and let me rub their belly. the ones who followed me to the next stop or walked me back to my hotel. the ones who curled up my lap. the ones who almost knocked me over with excitement. and the biggest love for hei hu 黑虎 and hei bao 黑豹 (black tiger and black panther).
hei hu and hei bao were the dogs at the restaurant near our hotel. hei bao, the big black dog with pointy ears and ~100lbs, came out first, full of all the puppy wiggles you’d expect from a 1.5 year old. i instantly knew we were in the right place and ended up eating there almost every day. the second day, i saw hei hu, the little black puppy, eating out of a pot of rice and meat in the kitchen. she somehow trusted me and seemed to enjoy sitting in my lap. she also got some beef lol. on one of my hardest days of the trip, i cuddled with her for over two hours behind the restaurant. the restaurant guy offered to let me raise her. “for you,” he wrote through google translate. this evening, my last meal in china, she fell asleep in my lap once more. another restaurant worker said she just showed up alone one day and never left. i cried. she chose her home ♥️
i may have cried equal amounts for hei hu/hei bao and my own adoption. it’s hard for me to discern between my case and the separation, rehoming, and adoption pets go through. when i hold hei hu, it’s like im holding a baby me. and its hard for me to say goodbye.
goodbye, hei hu. goodbye, hei bao. goodbye, china. well, at least, goodbye for now ;)
if you find yourself in henglin, changzhou, jiangsu, china, pls stop by 黄焖鸡（横林地板城店）and give hei hu and hei bao some beef :)
~ biggest thank you to sarah for waiting very patiently in the cold while i spent cumulative hours petting dogs ♥️
#chineseadoptee #birthfamilysearch
🔎 Changzhou City’s first part of my search story 🎒🌸❣️ Reporter Gu was an absolute queen—she asked such caring questions and did not back down from reporting the truth. And she gave me the time to understand my perspective. I am so grateful for her presence on this trip ♥️ Part two of this piece, when I visit the orphanage, coming soon :)
And biggest thanks to Lan and Sarah for organizing and doing the labor for all of this. Thank you for fighting so hard for baby alison ❤️🩹🐣
⭐️ If you are a Chinese adoptee or birth family wanting to search, please email [email protected]
#adoption #chineseamerican #birthfamilysearch #chineseadoption
The Changzhou City news also covered my search on their WeChat channel ♥️ Even our taxi driver and hotel cleaner saw it 💀Someone please tell me how I’m supposed to feel on this wild wild ride 😭😵💫😍🪦
⭐️ If you are an adoptee or birth family wanting to search, email [email protected]
#adoption #birthfamilysearch #chineseamerican
Well this is crazy. 🌹 Massive thank you to the Wujin District news for sharing my story! We still have no leads on who my birth family could be, so casting a wide net through local TV coverage is a critical part of searching. And as always, thank you to Sarah and Lan for being the engine and brains behind this whole operation ♥️
⭐️ If you are a Chinese adoptee interested in searching, feel free to reach out to [email protected]
⚡️DR.EM pt. 3/3! ❤️🩹
Therapy has gotten crazy these days. In this mini comic, Alison enters a futuristic Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy pod and traces her day-to-day stress through her bodily memory back to her original trauma: being abandoned by her birth family in China as a newborn. In this tender space, she offers herself what she needed as a newborn and finds new compassion for her adoptive mother.
Originally created for the Chinese Adoptee Cookbook (thank u @maddogdiggittydog !) and currently on view in @svamfaillustration ‘s Book Show at the Gramercy Gallery.
⚡️DR.EM pt. 2/3! ❤️🩹
Therapy has gotten crazy these days. In this mini comic, Alison enters a futuristic Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy pod and traces her day-to-day stress through her bodily memory back to her original trauma: being abandoned by her birth family in China as a newborn. In this tender space, she offers herself what she needed as a newborn and finds new compassion for her adoptive mother.
Originally created for the Chinese Adoptee Cookbook (thank u @maddogdiggittydog !) and currently on view in @svamfaillustration ‘s Book Show at the Gramercy Gallery.
