Catherine Gray

BIG NEWS. This is the book I have just released. Inspired by personal experience, as usual, this one came about because; after having dealt with my primary addiction (booze, obvs), secondary (love) and thirdary (let’s pretend it’s a word - cigarettes) I was in this space; ultimately OK, and nobody was worried about me now, but I still had a clutch of little addictions. Little addictions are deceptively cute: they are nowhere near clinical, and the consequences are v minimal, and we’ve only just slipped over our intended usage, and so we just… carry on. But sum-totalled, if you have a clutch of several (like me), the consequences really do add up. This book is designed to help us all— me included - regain mastery over our little addictions. It’s my most out-and-about book, I’ve spent weeks on the road in search of the truth. It will feature labs (two of which are styled up like actual bars!), brain scans, -80 fridges, a five-star rehab, whistleblowers, a shopping trip with a behavioural scientist, and chats with two dozen experts whose IQ is twenty points higher than mine. I also spoke with whistleblowers from the worlds of game design, app creation, algorithm manipulation, retail persuasion, food design and more. Fifteen types of addiction are covered from the ‘sticky eight’ like alcohol, nicotine, cannabis, gaming, gambling, porn, our phones (🙈) and ultra-processed food, through to shopping, TV, caffeine, dating and sex, and then more behavioural urges like people-pleasing, procrastination and judgement & gossip. The scope is HUGE, which is why this is a book you will hopefully return to again and again, as your behaviour and inputs shapeshift, for empowerment. There are 130 practical tools in the book, because I feel strongly that not only should books explain why, what and how, they should also leave you with a toolbox for what next. LITTLE ADDICTIONS is out now 💥 I’m excited! I hope you like it as much as I have loved writing it. 💛 (Ps. it’s made incredibly clear in the book that this is not a read designed for big, clinical addictions. Or even medium ones. This nuance is thrashed out with the help of an addiction psychiatrist upfront. 🤓)

Nine years ago today I had just found out that this baby was going to be published. 📖 That same day, I sent my infamously hard-to-please father some of the early chapters, with the caveat ‘this probably isn’t your kind of thing.’ He replied with ‘this is exactly my kind of thing.’ My dad was 23 years sober at the time and had told me he was proud of me ONCE in my 37 years on the planet. So, this landed. ✨ He died before he read any more, (of smoking-induced lung cancer aged just 65), but he did see an early mock up of the cover, which he also loved. I also got the chance to say goodbye to him, tell him I loved him, and tell him how much his role modelling of being joyously, openly and frankly sober had helped me. Do you remember the scene in the book where he shook his ass to Bruce Springsteen to show me sober dancing was not only possible, but a blast? That. 🫶🏻 This scene is at the forefront of my mind, because I’ve been having very exciting meetings of late about UJOBSober potentially becoming a film. 🎥 I can’t say more about that yet, but I think the world is ready for a dose of ‘quit flicks’, don’t you? (Coining it here 🤓) Nine years ago was the exact right time for ‘quit lit’, and now is the exact right time for stories to hit our screens that explore beyond the ‘before’ bottoms and into the lushness of the after. That’s the really juicy bit, after all. 🍊 Tens of thousands of you have written to me about UJOBSober. That’s no exaggeration; I received 800 messages in the first month, I know because I counted them. It still blows my mind how many people’s lives this book has touched. (I have tried to reply to each and every one of you, at least once. If you haven’t received a reply -and it was a while back -please do re-send your message as I have not seen it 🤓) Thank you for reading and loving this book… because the act of writing it truly helped me change my life. 💙 writing it all down helped me work out what I really think (paraphrasing Joan Didion) and therefore helped me continue not to drink. #12yearssober

When you realise where you were ten years ago, and are just starting your eighth book. 🤸🏻‍♂️ I got my first book deal when I was nearly 40. ✨ Let’s jettison that nonsense about your peak mountaineering years being 25-35. It’s never too late for a plot twist. 🤘🏼

When you get served shame, I’ve found the best response is living exuberantly. If you don’t know the ‘poky little house’ story, scroll to see. 🚗 Lady, I’ve been transmuting attempted societal shame into demonstrative joy since 2013. ✨ Don’t come at me with your shame, I will cartwheel in front of your house and blow you kisses while I do it 🤸🏻‍♂️ (or closer to actuality, initially lose my cool, then smile at you every time I see you, and stick a sticker in my car that you walk past daily. (Thank you Nicola G for the genius idea). 2. I used to think of ‘networking’ with suspicion. I found it fake, felt it was for climbers, that it was not for me. But now I understand that it’s just people whose work you deeply respect, who deeply respect yours too, who you also happen to like. I’ve been lucky enough to then become real life friends with many of these friendly work contacts, like Eric Zimmer, who I finally met in Cornwall recently after eight years of online chats (+ his effervescent partner Ginny). We recorded our fifth podcast together recently, on his show @one_you_feed , which is my favourite podcast of all time (tap to hear it in stories). I have the best chats with Eric, he is SO WISE. He has a book coming out next week which is like Atomic Habits x The Power of Now c/o Deep Work. It’s called ‘How a little becomes a lot’ 📖 Everyone should read it. 🤓 3. HRT has fully kicked in. I have not thrown a tub of houmous (I don’t recommend this as a thing to throw) while alone in the kitchen for a whole seven months. 🧘🏻‍♀️ Praise be 🙏🏼 Mia calls my HRT ‘the medicine which makes mummy not grumpy’. feel sure this beyond-her-years observation has trickled down from my partner. 😆 4. Little Addictions is just 99p on Kindle today! Cheaper than a Gregg’s chicken pasty, which was my go-to lunch in the late 90s when I worked at Boots in Chelmsley Wood and let the girl gangs nick things so they didn’t kick my face in 💅🏻 Speaking of Gregg’s and Boots, their gift voucher cards are really good things to give out to the unsheltered (Or just ask the person what they need from the shops and simply buy it - socks and gloves often feature highly). Love to you all 💛

I couldn’t love this woman more than I do. @laurievmcallister and I met nine years ago when I was three years sober, she was one year, and Sober 📖 was but a sprawling stream of consciousness Word doc I didn’t know what to do with. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Since then we have grown together as littermates and wear our sobriety in such a similar way. The container you pour this into at the beginning is profoundly important, as that will shape it going forward. If you go into this believing you’ll crave it forevermore, that you’ll never feel safe, then that is what will happen. Laurie and I were talking last night about how, if we ever drink again (which we are confident to say we won’t) it would be ‘known self-annihilation’. There is no secret corner of our minds that misses it. Being alcohol-free doesn’t have to feel the way it’s so often portrayed, and is then re-enacted in reality c/o a self-fulfilling prophecy. We have reframed the refrain. We don’t wear our non-drinking with lifelong fear, we wear it with forever freedom. It’s a light cape, not a heavy shroud. ✨ I am wildly glad I slid into Laurie’s DMs and have walked this walk beside her. 2. When you’re at Gatwick and see new-look Single on the stands for the first time. What do you think, gang? I loved the Hockney-esque diving woman, but the singular golden bird flying away from the coupled birds on the branch gives me TINGLES. 3. I’m doing an event next week in London (Wedns April 1st, Bloomsbury, 6.30pm) with my darling @janeyleegrace for the @hbcanceruk cancer charity and @hellolove.home . It is totally free for cancer patients (DM Janey for the code) and my followers can get 20 per cent off the ticket price by inputting SOBERCLUB. Link to tix in stories. Cover price includes a free @noughtyaf cocktail - and a metaphorical halo for giving to an excellent cause. 😇 4. Mia is not even four and has already started saying ‘six seven’ 😆 5. I recorded a podcast with Alcohol-free Revolution pod legends @sober.illiant and @alcoholfreecoach_ and they did some mind wizardry on me, getting me to reveal secrets I should not have revealed (link to full episode in stories) Watch out for this pair: suspected sorcerers. 🪄

‘I love my poky little house’ bumper sticker ordered to display proudly all spring. 🌷

Catherine Gray (@unexpectedjoyof ), successfully recovered from her worst addictions. But she’s still prone to compulsive behaviours – what she coins 'little addictions' in her new book. ⁠ ⁠ "For many years, it was easy to ignore my little addictions because the consequences were diminutive," she writes. "I’m not going to get fired for spending an extra hour on social media; if anything, I might get applauded for it via more followers." ⁠ ⁠ "But little addictions tend to travel in gangs. Whenever I do stay up late and click ‘next episode’ on Netflix like a lab rat pressing a lever for a treat, I find that I’m infinitely more likely to reach for an extra coffee, a sugary treat or some gossipy buzzes via WhatsApp the next day. My mental health droops to a four out of 10 as those little addictions add up...I want to choose what I do, rather than feeling like habits are choosing me."⁠ ⁠ At the link in bio, she investigates why some of us get trapped in ‘little addictions’ – and how we can set ourselves free. Tap to read.

Nobody doesn’t like free stuff. 🎁 The double negative works, I promise.

I think the public deserves the truth about what they’re putting in their body, rather than muddied waters, money flow influencing output and clickbait headlines from journalists who haven’t done their due diligence. What do you think?

Notes on intuition. I want to know your stories too.

What are your little addictions? Mine are my phone (I turn all my notifications off, then throw myself around the gmail - instagram - WhatsApp checking cycle dozens of times a day), nicotine (having quit smoking 11 years ago 😆I’m still hooked on NRT), tea (caffeinated and herbal, I could drink eight cups a day left unchecked), ice cream and cookies (get in my face), television (I tell myself it’s the ultimate relaxation tonic), chewing gum (found out some v interesting things about how addictive artificial sweeteners are - also see Diet Coke), not to mention more behavioural processes like procrastinating, people-pleasing and judgement… did you know these carry addictive rewards too? Whether it’s gaming, cannabis and porn that you overuse, lottery tickets, Candy Crush and chocolate, or booze, crisps and YouTube, this book has you covered. I’ve totally transformed my relationship with all of my #littleaddictions (any reader of mine knows I wouldn’t lay claim to this if it weren’t true) by talking with 24 experts and finding out about all the neuroscience and evolutionary drivers behind them, plus the behavioural tactics and evidence-based hacks that we can use to put ourselves back in the driving seat. Person uses thing, rather than thing uses person 🧍🏻‍♀️

Spent valentine’s with someone I’ve loved fiercely since I was 11 - @sammyclicks . As I keep banging on about (and wrote in UJOBSingle), it’s so important to remember that soulmates come in many forms outside the couplenormative paradigm. ❤️ Sam is mischief personified which meant our holiday involved a lot of inappropriately loud laughter while other tables sat in silence, naked dancing (in our room), bad gym karaoke while I lifted 12s and she 24s, and daring each other to run into the sea and shout ‘cowabunga!’ It’s possible that when we get together, our mental age devolves to the age we were when we first met. I’ve come up for air to the most beautiful reviews for Little Addictions - thank you, thank you. 🙏🏼 If you’re currently reading it, let me know what you think, and I will be eternally grateful if you could also recommend to others - either in your life, or via an online review. Word of mouth is the most powerful of all the marketing tools. 📚 Happy belated Valentine’s 💋