Massive congratulations to our 1XI who brought home the varsity title once again last Saturday with a 2-0 win against Kings đ. Thank you to everyone who came down to support and our sponsors @tpicap đ
We would like to say a huge thank you to TPICAP for sponsoring and supporting our club this season! Our club members also really enjoyed the opportunity to attend their insight evening, where members and the wider UCL community gained valuable perspectives on how a world-leading liquidity and data solutions specialist operates.
The time has comeâŠ
For me to introduce you to our captainâŠ.
The one and only Grace Brady!!
Grace has followed the classic 1s paradigm of going socially AWOL in 3rd year. Pint? Nah, gluten. Phin? No, not for me. Scala? Youâre joking.
When Grace isnât hibernating in chandler house or having teatime at Kingâs cross with the grannies, she spends her time online shopping (update on spending ban please?) and making besties with Cosco Security, at least we have nice shampoo and a million ice packs.
Grace stepped into the captaincy role with 1 clear goal: win the league. Wasnât that hard tbh and despite missing open goals and obtaining green cards, one thing always remains the same: it was really reaaallllly positive girls.
If only Grace hadnât joined in second year, she may have been able to fulfil her dream of kit sec too; whatâs the screen time on Y1 kit builder? Anyways, those training tops are to die for đ
Grace is a weapon in the midline, transferring the ball forward with her smooth long passes and classy stick skills makes her any defenders nightmare. Her natural yapping ability has lended itself useful to her forceful presence on the pitch and lit vibes off.
She made quite a name for herself last varsity and I hope the Sunday morning flight doesnât lessen her Lee Valley Varsity Experience. I canât wait to watch Grace captain UCL to greatness #bleedpurple
Number: 15
User: Error
Really: Really: Positive
Ladies and gents on the penultimate profile, we bring the one and only Eloise!!!
Yet again we have another basic girl,our resident clapham girl, medic (yawn) and gap yah in Thailand. Getting a bit boring now guys x
At least this girl does try and make herself somewhat different. Oh wait no, spending her summers at Wimbledon and trekking around some exotic country âjust to escape the ankiâ isnât that inventive. Canât forget the weekly food shop at M&S on Mumâs amex card though.
When she isnât losing every possession she owns (yes we literally have to strap her ID to her), she is actually quite the social butterfly. Some questionable decisions on a Wednesday are frequently made including mulleys > phin (ew), shocking attempts at a 3pc, shark attacks (rawr) and the worst of all, putting ice in a pint (actually cba for this).
Alas, despite this impressive social appearance, her appearances on the pitch are truly lacking. One game outfield the whole season?? One game in goal (Chelsea scouts back at it x) and this girl made her mark on the team. Shame the foot wiped her out for the whole season and sheâs never been back on the pitch since.
If you wanna see this gal back out on the pitch get ur tickets!!!
Number: 14
Anki: 4eva
Cards lost: 3 and counting
It is finally time that I introduce you to the one and only President Alex Paraskeva.
Itâs only taken Alex 3 years to finally give us some more content rather than just the boyfriend chat. Whilst still being the team cheddar and the team penne, Preskevaâs commitment to the club, and Scala, hasnât gone unnoticed this year.
Yes yes, she is a medic and following the norm, loves a bit of course-cest and has been seen fulfilling Yutaâs dream of the dirty dancing lift scene. Shame it wasnât another UCLMHC player.
Chopping a port? Of course. Taking her daughter home? For sure. Then ubering 2 mins to SCALA? Obviously. Sheâs fun and will take care of you. Rumor has it sheâs now on hinge. Get on it lads x
Alex is an absolute beast in the defence line, and even more so in the gym. Who needs Konrad, when you have Alex? A couple yellow and green cards here and there, Kingâs better watch out for their ankles, Seriously tho, what would we do without her and Livâs dreamy chemistry.
Alex has bonded lots with the freshers this year (presidential duty), in and outside of hockey hours and it appears they have lots in common. Sheâs also learnt a lot about sea creatures from the menâs pres⊠maybe this family shouldâve been sharks at Noahâs Ark?? Oh how I love Camden Head.
Alex is the crocodile you DO not want to see in a while, i hope youre ready to diveâŠ
Number: 2
Outfit: sexy
cheddar: no more
GET YOUR TICKETS NOW- presâ orders x
Scroll through instagram, scroll a bit further⊠yes keep going⊠and youâll find Ellaâs first varsity profile. âthrowing hands at umpiresâ, âfinishing two whole bottles of wineâ some things never change. Renowned to be one of the scariest members of the uclwhc, after years of traumatising opposition, umpires, even her own team mates, Ella has taken a gentler approach to parenting this year, ensuring Holly shows up by taking her for brunch pre pushback.
Often seen chuckling to herself whilst she spends 1.0 minutes making memes for the instagram (and her secret meme account) , sheâs still not shy from making freshers (and Alex) chop till they drop.
Her glory days are clearly behind her when it comes to hockey ability, so she has instead taken to asserting her dominance in mixed, itâs giving try hard. But yes, Ella is very good at hockey, her silky skills allows her to take out multiple defenders at a time AND she has a drag flick to die for. I guess we all needed an Alistair replacement and Ella has no issues continuing on his legacy. But sheâs not just known for HOGGING the ball, but also David (she/her) and Delilah (he/him). Itâs fair to say theyâve had more contact with a certain ex-pres then they have with the current team.
You may be wondering where Ella has been the past few weeks; stuck in Stevenage playing pretend Doctor is the answer #pleasecomeback #wemissyou but that hasnât stopped her from advertising her daily longevity exercises and being gifted 4 packs from the freshers.
Nonetheless we canât wait to see her back at Lee Valley in her natural habitat #LFG
Number: 7
Toddler Tantrums: silent lying on the floor
Wanna be: grace
P.s #ella get it trending
P.s.s #ella
4 years ago, i would be introducing our star goalkeeper as the sole northerner of the team. Sadly all this time in the big smoke has turned her into surreys most wanted, donning her toms trunks, birks and free people around campus, you wouldnât be able to guess her sheffield roots. #nibble
You never know whatâs gonna come out of this goalies mouth; âwhat animalâs diet would you wantâ, âwhat shape do you think i would be?â, âI didnât realise flowers grew in fields!â Honestly, what is this PsychEd degree?
I couldnât write this profile without mentioning a clear turning point in Annaâs development: before tooth, after tooth. Since then no apples have been successfully consumed, countless trips to Sheffield have been made and no piggy back rides allowed, donât think she will ever be the same again.
Whilst sheâs spent several Wednesdays taking teammates home, she is one of the #funs1s and needs no persuasion for a bottle of wine or a mobster moustache; but please can someone hide Livâs recorder from her. Permanent ear damage pending.
Annaâs a brick wall in goal and her diving saves and leadership from the back in high pressure situations has saved us on more occasions than i can count. Clearly still needs to be given mom more as her PC remains a tough watch.
Rumour has it sheâs taking a masters next year (or repeating 1st year again) and even better sheâs staying in London. Something must be keeping her here. See you at Lee Valley to witness this stellar goalkeeperâs final dance xx
Number:1
Wicked:witch
6:7
#annalogue
If it isnât time to introduce our resident yapper and nightmare Holly Dense!
Now I know you may be thinking, who is this girl? Donât think Iâve seen her at a social in a while? Well you would be correct. Not only is this girl missing her partner in crime, Liv, this girlâs feral activities have taken an uno reverse and she seems to be spending more time in the library than on the pitch or on the bevs. I mean credit where credit is due, our lawyer to be over here really is putting in the grindstone.
When this girl does seem to make an appearance, boy does she do it in style. Moncler at Southgate? You know it. Van Cleef to S&C? Obviously. This former Essex queen really knows how to show up. Showing up also consists of multiple outfit changes often (#ball), but shame we didnât get to see that this year (final year queen).
When on the pitch this girl knows no boundaries. With her silky skills, speed and âoccasionalâ chats and cards with the umpires, this girl really leaves it all out there, This being about the only thing she doesnât have her cba attitude for x
If you wanna see Holly out in action again get yourselves down to Lee Valley!!!!!
Number: 9
Parking fines: Infinite
Swag: Always
Now time to introduce our Scottish weapon, Ambra!
Lets firstly address the elephant in the room. Yes, she is final year. But alas, yes this is her first year in the team. Third times a charm x
This girl knows no limits. Singlehandly creating and running two new societies - wonderwoman one may say. Singlehandly doing the times student survey across the whole uni. Wonderwoman again. Single handedly saving mouses lives (RIP mice x). Wonderwoman once more.
But now do not let this persona fool you. On the rare occasion that Ambra makes a social appearance (are we just not as fun as the 2sđ) she is not a force to be reckoned with. Freshers watch out.
As with many of the seniors, her relationship status seems to be most of her chat. If coursecest wasnât enough, let alone being in a full relationship, this girl has really committed. Commitment though has unfortunately not extended to socials this year. Guess this wonderwoman is too busy to walk the 50m from her house to scala.
Get your tickets to see this Scotswoman out in action (on and off the pitch hopefully)!!!!
Number: 4
Tour romances: Achieved.
Mice sacrificed: Infinity