Stephanie Essenfeld LMFT

Do you agree?

I wouldn’t show you the three arguments I had with my husband that day over trivial things in stressful moments (usually trying to get somewhere on time 😮‍💨). I wouldn’t show you Jessi screaming in the car (which lasted 30 minutes) because Vane accidentally broke her favorite glasses 😫. Nor would I show you the time I raised my voice in that moment of terror when I thought they would fall off the pier because they were pushing each other 😱😞 Obviously none of this is recorded. But I do want to tell you about it. And I’m telling you because... All those imperfect moments of motherhood happened on the same day as the video you’re watching and would be left out of your perspective of my life. And you, being human, would compare your day with these few happy seconds that I did show you of mine. This Mother’s Day, I want us to challenge the notion of “perfection” and celebrate the true essence of being a mother. Beyond the smiles captured in photos and videos, I want us to recognize the resilience that all mothers have within. We face daily challenges and give the best we have with the tools we have at the moment (and what our nervous system allows us to access). Sometimes we feel like a failure and yet we get up and try again the next day. Today, let’s honor not only the visible victories but also the silent battles we fight behind camera. May this day be a tribute to the authenticity and strength of motherhood in its purest and most powerful form. Happy Mother’s Day ♥️ You’re doing it well. I invite you to leave a message for that mom who judges herself; compares and feels guilty 👇 what would you say to her? Thank you @drbeckyatgoodinside for all the wonderful tools you teach me inside your membership. You are a blessing.

How difficult it is to accept a present we don’t like. Radical acceptance is a tool I keep in mind especially in those tough moments of frustration. It’s a practice I incorporate into each of the spaces I facilitate (my courses, my lectures, my retreats...) because I believe that without radical acceptance, progress is impossible. Without it, we find ourselves going round in a roundabout with no exit, trapped in a cycle of frustration, anger, and the failed attempt to change what, for the moment, is unchangeable. I hope my reflection offers you a new perspective to navigate your own challenges in a more bearable way. Sending you love and acceptance, Stephanie ♥️

How can someone repair trust if they’ve used a partner’s vulnerabilities against them? Repairing trust requires acknowledging the harm done, sincerely apologizing, and taking concrete steps to ensure it doesn’t happen again. It also involves rebuilding the safety through consistent, supportive actions and open empathetic communication.

Imagine a world where children grow up learning to set boundaries with confidence. A place where expressing their emotions and needs in front of adults is not only possible but celebrated. 🌟 What if this approach could significantly reduce the amount of trauma needing healing in adulthood? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this transformative possibility. I believe we are moving towards this. What do you think? Is it a realistic vision, or just wishful thinking?

If you liked this story, leave me a ♥️🥹 in the comments.

Let’s promote clear communication in our interactions, especially when doing favors. If you’re offering a favor with certain expectations or conditions, it’s important to be upfront about it. Clearly state any conditions or ‘strings attached’ to your favor. This transparency allows the other person to make an informed decision: they can either accept the favor with its conditions, politely decline it, or seek help elsewhere or manage on their own. This approach fosters mutual respect and avoids misunderstandings.

Let’s learn to hold space for our pain with compassion ♥️

Involving a child in post-divorce conflicts, especially to get information about your ex-spouse, can have lasting impacts on their mental health. This kind of triangulation not only disrupts the child’s sense of security but also burdens them with adult concerns. It can lead to trust issues, emotional distress, and internal conflicts that might echo into their future relationships. Let’s prioritize our children’s well-being by keeping them out of adult conflicts and maintaining clear, healthy boundaries. Their future selves will thank you for it. What do you think? Source of video: Ginnie and Georgia #ProtectChildhood #HealthyParenting #LifeAfterDivorce”

Yes, just as you hear it. It's crucial to be empathetic towards others when expressing ourselves or acting, being respectful. However, there are people who, despite your efforts to be empathetic and respectful, will be offended by you simply because you do not meet their expectations. This offense often stems from their need for control, a need that your boundaries and actions are not fulfilling. And that's okay. It's fine for other people to be offended; they have the right to be offended. At the same time, you have the right to live your life aligned with your own expectations, and you are not obliged to constantly satisfy those of others to avoid offending them. What do you think? Does this resonate with you? If so, leave me a heart.

Empathy is a bridge connecting us to the experiences of others, allowing us to understand and share their feelings. However, this bridge should not become a one-way street where you are constantly absorbing the impact of their emotions. Recognizing and feeling for someone’s struggles doesn’t mean you have to endure negative behavior directed at you. It’s crucial to remember that self-care is not selfish; it’s necessary. You don’t have to be their punching bag. You can empathize and still set boundaries. Comment with a ❤️ if you agree 👇

Sometimes, people resort to sarcasm as a way to dodge the emotions that come with having a direct, honest conversation. When faced with such sarcasm, if you respond defensively, you’re actually perpetuating the very pattern you wish to avoid. Instead, by addressing the behavior and encouraging an honest exchange of feelings, you open the door to genuine communication. This approach can lead to greater vulnerability and a stronger connection. It’s not easy, but you’ll find it incredibly rewarding and healthy for your relationship. Want more tips like this? Leave a heart in the comments if you do. Thanks for being here!