Andre Kelley

What sport is the gayest though?👀 #heatedrivalry

Look who you just missed!!! You can catch the hilarious @theandrekelley in one of our 10 Comics Shows as they entertain you with wit and charm. Grab your tickets and come enjoy an unforgettable of fun and entertainment!!! You never know who might stop by!⁣ 😎 ⁣⁣ ⁣Tickets & Info: edyandmagicclub.com Select Thursdays and Sundays Thursdays : @ 8pm Fridays: @8pm Saturdays: 6pm and @8pm Sundays : @ 7pm Main Show Room @ 8pm Doors: 6:30pm Show: @8pm The Up Close Room Doors: @5pm Show: 6pm #comedyandmagicclub #theupcloseroom #hermosabeach #10comics #standupcomedy #comedyshow #FunnyJokes #LaughOutLoud #ComedyCentral #StandUpSpecial #ComedyNight #Hilarious #ComedyClub #LaughFest #funny #southbay *lineup subject to change

(written in sarcastic font) “Gee. Thanks Obama.” #Resist #AbolishICE #AlwaysChooseTheBear

Top 20 Things I Could See Actually Happening Way Before Spencer Pratt Ever Becoming The Next Mayor Of Los Angeles. 1. Fox News reporting NEWS. 2. Fed-Ex delivering my Trump-phone. 3. Kash Patel seeing straight. 4. Mo'Nique forgiving Tyler Perry. 5. Mitch McConnell beating The Hare again. 6. Brandy & Donnie McClurkin singing The Boy Is Mine. 7. Mambo No. #6. 8. Chilli from TLC coming to The Cookout. 9. Kanye on his meds. 10. Lauryn Hill on time. 11. Mary J. Blige on key. 12. The return of the Macarena. 13. The ribbon-cutting at the Nicki Minaj Day Care Center. 14. Bryan McKnight getting Father of The Year. 15. Caitlyn Jenner growing back her hymen. 16. Jared Kushner becoming a real boy. 17. Stephen Miller bathing in Holy Water. 18. Me, paying for 'vaginal entertainment.' 19. Nicki Minaj in the sentence ‘And the Grammy goes to …..’ 20. Tiger Woods driving for Uber. -Andre Kelley #Resist #AbolishICE #AlwaysChooseTheBear

Top 10 Perfectly Reasonable Explanations As To Why China’s President Xi Jinping Didn't Meet Donald Trump At The Airport. 1. He was meeting Melania at another airport. 2. He knew Trump wanted to call ‘shotgun.’ 3. He couldn’t find the right-sized Depends. 4. He was in line for the new Jordans. 5. No Doubt tickets went on sale. 6. Trump’s hoe-ass was too cheap to pay for gas. 7. He was scared of getting Hantavirus. 8. His barber was giving him a bomb-ass fade. 9. He was catching Pokémon. 10. His driver was Lauryn Hill. -Andre Kelley #Resist #AbolishICE #AlwaysChooseTheBear

Dre's America : Quote Series "So, if they're using Aliens to distract us from the Epstein Files, is this technically Alien vs Predator?" -Mistress Dividend @MistressDivy #Resist #AbolishICE #AlwaysChooseTheBear

"Hey Alexa. Play Queen's Another One Bites The Dust." #Resist #AbolishICE #AlwaysChooseTheBear

Top 10 Gifts I Plan On Getting For White House Press Secretary KKKaroline Leavitt And Her Brand New Baby Girl. 1. Condoms. 2. Plan B. 3. A wooden stake. 4. A check for $6.66. 5. The Fisher-Price My First Pentagram. 6. A crucifix and Holy Water. 7. Shower-gel from Bed, Bath & Bed Wench. 8. A Dingo. 9. A gift-card from the Nicki Minaj Daycare Center. 10. Maury Povich. -Andre Kelley #Resist #AbolishICE #AlwaysChooseTheBear

Top 10 Other Chads That Are More Likely To Get My Vote In California's Governor's Race Instead Of Sheriff Chad Bianco. 1. Chad Michael Murray. 2. Chad Smith. 3. Chad Lowe. 4. Chad Kroger. 5. Chad Michaels. 6. Chad Ochocinco. 7. Chad Hugo. 8. Chadwick Boseman. 9. The Republic of Chad. 10. ANY hanging chad. -Andre Kelley #Resist #AbolishICE #AlwaysChooseTheBear

Previously on Dre's Cafe............ Trevor Noah : "Bae? Do you ever worry about our meat intake?" Me: "You didn't complain when your mouth was full?"

Dre's America : Photo Series And mind you, this is not a pack. This is just ONE oxtail. One. We are SO going to CRUSH the Midterms. -Andre Kelley #Resist #AbolishICE #AlwaysChooseTheBear

Shout-out to Seth Rogen & Lauren Miller's Hilarity For Charity Event in conjunction with the Netflix Is A Joke Festival. Not only did they manage to sell-out all 5,900 seats at the world famous Greek Theater (while raising a whopping $750,000) they put on a very entertaining show. Josh Gad, Sarah Silverman, Eric Andre, Nikki Glaser, Jon Stewart, Michael Buble, magician Justin Willman (who was amazing) and others kept us completely engaged. But special attention must be paid to Nick Kroll (Big Mouth, Goat) who not only had an excellent comedic set, he actually delivered a robust monologue complete with layers and even drama. I'd never seen him live before and by the time he was done, I turned to my friend and said 'HE can get it.' And if that wasn't enough, they closed out the night with one of Seth's favorite musical guests, Busta Rhymes. He gave us a medley that I honestly don't think those White folks were ready for but he let us HAVE it! He put on quite the show and even in the chill of that mountainous cool night air, Busta was sweating! He left it all on the stage while energizing entire theater. He was the perfect closer for the event. We left feeling charged, hopeful and dare I say, renewed and on school night, that's saying a lot. My thanks to my (ahem) 'studio insider' for bringing me along and until next time! -Andre Kelley Photo Credit: Jennifer Levine #Resist #AbolishICE #AlwaysChooseTheBear