Guided Journeys For Loving Relationships
Recently on The Path we featured the return of Ted Riter (@tedritertalks ). Previously on episode 48, we discussed the art of deepening intimacy. In this show, Ted, a seasoned coach specializing in men’s work and relationships, joins us to unravel the intricate tapestry of guided medicine journeys in the context of relationships. Drawing from personal experiences and a wealth of expertise, Ted sheds light on the intentional and productive use of medicine within the right container. We explore how these medicine journeys can become transformative tools, aiding couples in growth and healing during challenging times.
In Episode #78 Ted and I discuss:
➡️ Ted’s introduction to medicine work, coming from a background as a Jewish Rabbi
➡️ What a guided session with Ted looks like
➡️ Preparation beforehand
➡️ Questions to ask when choosing a guide
➡️ The process of integration
To listen to the full episode visit the link in bio.
#tedriter #intimacy #medicine #guide
Relationships don't have to be difficult!
There, I said it!
That may seem like an "of course" for you. Or, you might push back with the common trope of many relationship teachers that the deepest, most enlightened relationships are ones that use conflict for growth. And, that two people are brought together to poke and prod each other into full expression and greatness.
In the past 30 years of working with couples, however, I haven't seen that to be true.
Sure, we all have conflicts.
But conflicts, with some basic tools, still don't need to be difficult.
Conflicts can last a few hours, but there is no healthy reason for them to continue for much longer.
There is no healthy reason for there to be flareups every few days.
There is no healthy reason for either partner to be living with fears that "I'm too much for them" or "I'm not enough for them."
A healthy partnership has disagreements and sometimes hurt feelings.
And, a healthy partnership has the tools and practice to move through those hurts.
A healthy partnership is built on three things:
-> A common or complementary vision for how to move through the world
-> A sexual aliveness, and
-> A commitment to each other's physical and mental health and wellbeing
If you'd like to work with my privately on your relationship, see the link in my bio or DM me.
Much love to you all,
Ted
An excerpt from a letter I wrote to my stepson when he turned 18.
It began:
In this country, when you turn 18, you’re considered an adult.
I vaguely remember turning 18 and getting ready for high school graduation. At that time, the drinking age was 18 and though we were required to sign up for the military’s “I can find you if I need you” system, war seemed far out of reach and 18 looked like freedom.
And it looked like optimism.
And it looked like possibility.
Though I knew it at the time, I didn’t fully understand that it also looked like responsibility. Or at least, I didn’t fully understand what it meant that 18 and graduation called us to responsibility.
In fact, it took me until my 40s to really understand responsibility. In that sense, it took me until my 40s to understand what it means to be a man.
I offer you what I’ve learned, knowing that you’ll probably embrace some of it, discard some of it, and be indifferent to some of it. Whatever you do, please understand that I offer this with love.
> > >
Thank you to @john_wineland for teaching me the importance of having a trustable circle of men.
Thank you to the men of #thewisdomcircle for trusting me to guide you in forming a brotherhood of your own.
#menswork #consciousmasculine #mensgroups #divinemasculine #dothework #manifesto
If you’ve ever felt quietly exhausted by what it takes to keep connection alive… this might hit.
“Mankeeping”is the often-invisible emotional, relational, and logistical labor one partner does to maintain the other partner’s social and emotional life.
And yes… it can show up in any couple.
What I want both of you to see is this:
This dynamic didn’t start with either of you. But it is being maintained by both of you.
Not blame… responsibility. Not shame… capacity.
Try this: once a day ask… “What am I noticing that I usually wait for my partner to name?” Then act on one small thing.
With love,
Ted
#masteringmodernintimacy #relationships #mankeeping
Sometimes what we’re asking our partner to give us is older than the relationship itself.
If this resonates, send it to someone who needs it. Sometimes the door opens when we stop trying to open it alone.
*Read the full piece: What Else Is True. Link in bio.*
#masteringmodernintimacy #parentwounds #relationships
Before I say anything else… I don’t believe in playing games.
Not in love. Not in intimacy. Not in repair.
So if you’re longing to be wondered about, this isn’t about testing your partner… or withholding to get a reaction.
It’s about offering a clean doorway back into connection.
If you’re longing for more curiosity from your partner, here’s a question that may feel counterintuitive:
Am I an invitation for the curiosity I want?
This isn’t about performing or earning attention. It’s about noticing how you’ve adapted.
When curiosity hasn’t been there… or hasn’t been safe to expect… we often close the door ourselves.
You pre-answer everything. You lead with conclusions. You project a competence that says, “I’ve got it handled.”
And your partner believes you.
Being an invitation doesn’t mean withholding. It means leaving space.
Instead of the whole story, try: ”Something happened today that I’m still sitting with.”
Then wait.
-> From my March newsletter, What Else Is True. Link in bio.
#masteringmodernintimacy #curiosity #relationshipgames
When curiosity hasn't been safe to expect, we adapt.
We close down.
We lead with: "I've got it handled"... and our partner believes us.
This isn't about earning attention. It's about offering a clean place to enter.
Full video goes deeper into both sides of this 👆
🎥 Full video: https://youtu.be/3_ccY8QR-Z8
📩 /
📱 @tedritertalks
#relationships #masteringmodernintimacy #curiosity
“He’s a good man. He shows up. He’s loyal. But he’s not curious about me.”
I keep hearing the same thing from women.
Not all women. Not in every relationship. But often enough that I’m paying attention.
”He’s not curious about me.”
Sometimes that curiosity faded over time. And sometimes… more quietly… it was never really there.
When I sit with the partner being told they’re “not curious enough,” most aren’t checked out. They’re not cruel or indifferent.
They’ve just stopped wondering… or never learned how.
And that’s where connection starts to thin.
-> More on this in my March newsletter: What Else Is True. Link in bio.
#relationships #curiositymatters #intimacy
