At this stage of my life I’m not sure what good presents are anymore, after being through what I’ve had to deal with the last 6 years. Everything token away from me and only left with a chance to live, and having to start over with a fragile beaten body has not been an easy task to deal with. But the last two and a half years after being through a transplant, getting to be an uncle to this little girl has been the one gift that has been a blessing to me. Being an uncle has gotten me through a lot of hurt, anger, and frustrations. ❤️
I ended up spending most of this week in the hospital, It’s crazy the amount of trauma I have from my cancer journey. Being stuck there again really had me in a major mental funk. But I’m out again. It was just pneumonia. I’m just very thankful to have the key friends and family members that really keep me going on this chapter of my life, where I have know idea on what to expect. I’m very thankful for the people that keep me in skateboarding and allowing me to enjoy what I love to do. Honestly Ive learned to let the things I do talk to me and show me what direction I should go with it. if I can pass on one thing from this post, that is do what you love to do and give it your all. Whatever it is, don’t let no one try to take that away from you. I got really frustrated with my life when I was in the hospital, because I never get a break. I’m constantly having to dig my self out of one thing to the next, having to repair what’s left of my life. On the last night in the hospital I went to go to sleep and I put the hoodie on that I came in with and smelt a familiar fragrance on it. It was my mom’s perfume that had probably rubbed off from one of her pieces that I keep around in my room. Then I also realized that it was my @firesidefamily hoodie, the first run that we ever did. At that moment I realized I had nothing to be worry about, my mom is out there and she’s got me no matter what. I can’t wait to show everyone what I’ve been working on!
Been Slowly working on a short story about the last 3 years of my tragic life. About the lost of my mom to cancer and myself a year later battling cancer, and barely making out alive, and the comparisons and experiences of the situations.
It’s been 3 years since I lose my mom to cancer, and then I got cancer and some how have been able to make it through that. I’ve lost everything, but I learned to be grateful for everyday I’m given. To enjoy the seasons changing and the friends and family that honestly want to be a part of my life. And to not give up on myself and continue to become a better version of me.
A couple months before I was going to have the last resort transplant treatment. I really didn’t know how to feel about the continuing bad results of battling cancer, I was just trying not to be scared and be at peace with a lot of things. Then both my brother and sister told me that they would be having a kid in the coming next year. Hearing that news all I could wish of the situation I was in, was that please let me see another year and allow me to see these two kiddos. Well my brother and his wife had there boy a couple months ago, and now three days ago my sister had a girl. So proud of them both, and I’m so in love with this moment holding this little girl.
Everyday I could only wish to go back in time and share more times with my mom like this, its crazy how much joy I had with her and how much appreciation I have for her now. Everything from who the woman she was, to all the bad times and things in her life that made her stronger. As a child I never realized a lot she went through as a single mom, and what it took to keep things afloat around us and around me in my life. My mom was always like a warm thanksgiving meal on a thanksgiving day, a true Christmas feeling on a Christmas you didn’t really want to celebrate. A single mom that would work her butt off all week, but would always be ready to enjoy life no matter how tired she was. Even though she had a tough battle with cancer, I was honored to witness the true greatness of her soul. And as I just finished my crazy journey with a situation of a rare cancer, which maybe by the bare luck of my personality that allowed me to survive. I seriously try my hardest to be reminded to be more like her everyday. The amount of tears and energy I’ve spent missing her is unreal, she always reminded me that she was ok. And eventually I would have to teach myself to believe it, even thou to this day I still wonder where she is at. Happy Mother’s Day and everyday to my mom! 💜❤️💜
