WHAT WAS LEFT IN THE COLD EP OUT NOW
(by averil)
9/13 is a pretty big day for me in grief and life, today is my dads birthday, if you don’t know me my dad passed away from an overdose when i was 13 years old. i wrote this ep about the struggles of addiction + grief, dedicated to my dude. the tracks are aligned in a very particular way, so if you listen i recommend listening it front to back with this explanation of the stages per song:
track 1, intro/shock, i reversed and slowed 3 parts of the only voicemail i could find of my dad’s from a family member and i hear it saying “i am this message”, “111”, and “not gonna leave you” or “im gonna leave you” really eerie because i chose RANDOM parts, uncovered these and he did pass away about 3 months after.
track 2, depression, what was left in the cold.
track 3, catalyst, reconstruction
track 4, it’s you, the stage after acceptance where you hold doubt in every relationship because it triggers wounds from grieving loved ones (fear of abandonment, rejection, death, etc…) that’s not technically a stage but it’s what i’ve experienced for 9 years.
5. forfeit, anger.
6. the crooked man, bargaining
7. chained, just a fun song with
@closedawakened i see it as coping unhealthily and finding distractions, putting energy into the wrong people, places and things
track 8, static, also anger and bargaining with addiction and the state of life/the world you’re in
track 9, ashes in the dust, acceptance.
track 10, outro, pain + guilt. this one sounds unfinished and MESSY, but grief will never be pretty or a linear healing process, and although it changes it never truly ends.
i hope that you guys love this, and it makes you feel less alone in whatever you’re going through now.
huge thank you to
@closedawakened for being a feature on this EP and mixing and mastering chained,
@alteredways_ for being the photographer of the covers,
@jmun0zzz for doing drums on static, and lastly
@gaugegaugegauge for writing guitar on static, recording guitar for catalyst + for being the cover art 🖤 this EP literally wouldn’t have been completed without you + i can’t thank you enough.
