The housewife’s flutter, pick one by its name
The workplace sweepstake’s just the same
Hey Charlie, don’t fancy your horse
The Queen always loved it, of course
It’s the cheery item at the end of The News
Counting up how many horses lose
We can join our reporter now in Aintree Way
It’s Grand National Cheering On The Killing Of Horses Day
Jesus, said Jesus, awake on the cross
What d’you have to go and summon Satan for?
I’m supposed to sleep in for a couple of days
But now there’s all this chaos and war
And he’s everywhere, TV and radio
Right across the social media shitshow
Wherever your midnight doom scrolling might go
With a bunch of leering demons in tow
Jesus, said Jesus, awake on the cross
What d’you have to go and summon Satan for?
I’m supposed to sleep in for a couple of days
But now there’s all this chaos and war
Wait, you expected hellfire and brimstone
With a laptop and a mobile phone?
C’mon, horns and hooves are a bit mediaeval
These days he manifests as real estate evil
Jesus, said Jesus, awake on the cross
What d’you have to go and summon Satan for?
I’m supposed to sleep in for a couple of days
But now there’s all this chaos and war
With a raging, rambling, boiling sea of lies
And an infernal wardrobe full of red ties
Every time he smiles a Gazan baby dies
And he has nothing but greed in his eyes
Jesus, said Jesus, awake on the cross
You let out death, famine, conquest and war
You say you’re Christians, but you don’t care for the poor
What d’you have to go and summon Satan for?
The farmer grows the wheat
The farmer sows the seeds
The farmer tills and harvests
To meet the baker’s needs
The miller grinds the wheat
The straw and chaff she’ll scour
Separating germ and bran
To make the baker’s flour
Meanwhile you bake
The cake that they take
And crumbs are all they say
Your cake is worth
The bigger the cake
The more crumbs it makes
And that’s the way they say
That baking works
The farmer grows the beet
Made ready to eat
The baker needs the sugar
To keep the baking sweet
Of butter, milk, and eggs
It’s often left unsaid
That cruelty concedes
To what the baker needs
Meanwhile you bake
The cake that they take
And crumbs are all they say
Your cake is worth
The bigger the cake
The more crumbs it makes
And that’s the way they say
That baking works
The cake keeps getting bigger
While the same old crumbs fall down
The baker’s getting thinner
It’s the same all round the town
The cake keeps getting bigger
But the table’s getting higher
The baker’s getting thinner
And the bakery’s on fire
Meanwhile you bake
The cake that they take
And crumbs are all they say
Your cake is worth
The bigger the cake
The more crumbs it makes
And that’s the way they say
That baking works
Nigel the talking frog’s coin-operated
A cameo Nazi for just a few quid
Birthday greetings for the racist on a budget
Send your pal a Kick-‘Em-Out Farage vid
Nigel the talking frog’s coin-operated
A cameo Nazi bought and paid for
What he’d say for free, he says for a fee
The grift that the internet was made for
Raise his fists up to his eyes
Waves them slowly side to side
Waves them like a fist goodbye
To children where his bombers fly
A pumpkin he, made rotting flesh
Dancing ‘til there’s nothing left
His awful orange swaying heft
Of simple principle bereft
An ogre’s dance in tracer light
An ogre’s sleight, an ogre’s spite
An ogre’s drooling appetite
The ogre set the world alight
Just for a moment we were shocked
A light shone on the filthy rot
Those Epstein files had the lot
Then off we all jolly well popped
Billionaires and paedophiles
Mandy’s smirk and Andy’s smile
Donny there the whole while
Billionaires and paedophiles
Like the clock had stopped then boom
Warfare filled the room
He’d only gone and done it, damn
The pumpkin had bombed Iran
Billionaires and paedophiles
AI guided missiles
They had the lot, those Epstein files
Billionaires and paedophiles
Pumpkin Trump and his mate Benny
Watching war like it was telly
A girls’ school bombed, but what the hey
Democracy is on its way
Billionaires and paedophiles
Robot misguided missiles
They had the lot, those Epstein files
Billionaires and paedophiles
As shit as Chat GPT
Rubbish dressed as certainty
Facts are not the currency
Of the crypto-bro insurgency
Billionaires and paedophiles
Children pulverised and devils smile
They had the lot, those Epstein files
Billionaires and paedophiles
Cheap gas at the pump wins votes
Now the cost of living’s going up like smoke
Cos the what is it good for
Evading the law
Has gone to war
Siccing Maven and Claude
On kids, surprise
The chat bot decides who lives and dies
The ignoble prize
Distraction maybe
Willy waving
And hey there’s Tony
Who’d have thought it
If there’s a war he sought it
If there’s a crime he brought it
A dollar he caught it
And it’s
No signal just noise
From the crypto boys
The bros just chose
The general’s clothes
Why get exposed
When it’s a game
Where profits, rape and bombs
Are all the same
Billionaires and paedophiles
Billionaires and paedophiles
Billionaires and paedophiles
Billionaires and paedophiles
Andy and Mandy getting done for secrecy
While no one’s getting done for rape
Meanwhile in the United States
He’s gone to war in Iran with his man Benny
A man with many bodies on his hands
In Palestinian lands
Oh man, where does it end
When the enemy of your enemy definitely
Ain't your friend
Now they’re bombing kids from the girls’ school
Cos that’s what they think big men do
Big men who do child sexual exploitation
Kidnap and kill heads of other nations
Well at least the ones with loads of oil
Oil for the bully to despoil
Makes your blood boil, where does it end
When the enemy of your enemy definitely
Ain't your friend
War, what is it good for?
It’s good for staying out of trouble with the law
Making totally exonerated yesterday’s news
Corruption’s tolerated when the missiles cruise
It’s good for Dan Eck, big tech, war machine makers
Stock price gamblers, military fakers
Killing neighbours, where does it end
When the enemy of your enemy definitely
Ain't your friend
He’s swapped the royal balcony
For the inside of a cell
He’s given back the Order of St. Olav as well
But while he denies Virginia
To the Thames Valley Police
There will still be no justice
No peace
